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I mean think about it you're so much older than your kids. If you don't have kids before 28 you're just selfish and mean. Like if you have a kid at let's say 30 when your kid is 30 you're freaking 60 and when your kid is 60 youre either dead or 90.
What specifically is mean about it? Because of the age gap? It depends how long you expect to live, I guess. If you can reasonably see your kids into adulthood then it's probably fine.
My great grandmother adopted a child when she was about 56 years old. My great aunt is currently 26 years old and my great grandmother is 82. My great grandmother is a really nice person. The age that you decide to have a kid has no bearing on how selfish or mean someone is.
I think it is WAY more important to have kids when you have the maturity and income to be able to properly support and take care of them. Sure, you can think of it like "oh, if I have kids at X age I will be Y age when they are finally on their own!", but that completely ignores all of the pieces that need to fall into place for a good environment for children to thrive (have a good career started, owning a house, in a stable and committed relationship, etc.)
There is a major problem in this country of people having kids when they're unable to support them. Children born to parents who were careless, who don't love (or can't stand each other), have no idea about their own responsibilities, and are in and out of halfway houses grow up having such horrible and broken lives. I would much rather have a mom and dad that are 8 years older and properly raised / supported me than younger parents that couldn't do shit for me.
I think you hit the nail on the head with that one. I wish more people understood this. I feel like people where I'm at don't get it.
I have a few friends whose wives pushed them into having more kids than they wanted because she was like "I told myself I would have all the kids I was going to have by the time I'm 30"... even though the first few kids were out of wedlock and they were behind on the bills. A few years down the road, they would've gotten ahead on their down payment on a house, paid off their student loans and debt on cars, and been much better off.
I just don't understand the mentality.
I thirteen year age difference sounds more like a sibling, or a cousin. I think having a kid when you're thirteen is unfair to the child, and the parent. I also think that it's a good way to develop issues that might land a person on Dr. Phil. I love Dr. Phil, he's hilarious! I love it when he asks his guests, "and how's that working out for ya?"
I had my child at twenty-nine because with my partner we were renting a small house and we wanted to have our house built first, settled, have some fun then have a child. It's all about what you want.
I'll be 27 next month:From a very young age, I've had too many bad things happen in my family; From teen years on, I had to spend most of my time caring for one sick family member after another; Along with my own episodes of depression and chronic fatigue syndrome as well. With all this going on, I have very little time to do anything for myself; I'm still yet to go back to school and earn a college degree for myself. I still haven't yet had much opportunity to date, experience sex, get to meet somebody I truly cared about, ETC. Granted, I really don't want kids; I'm fairly certain I'm also one of the child-free by choice crowd. But all other things being said, even if I did want children -I still need some time to establish my own life! And I'll obviously be past 28 when that happens. Moral of the story: There are people who aren't even prepared for parenthood in their 20s.
You sound like either a teenager or someone who never mentally progressed past that stage. I hope you haven't had a child yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did, and are now trying to justify it.