Is it normal i still love my abusive ex?

I voted its normal because its normal to have these mixed emotions for someone once you have fallen in love with them. Is it ok? No. Its not ok to be with someone that hurts you that way. They may say they love you and care about you, but if that was the truth, would they abuse you like that?

I understand, but that is something that will never happen to me again. I was in a very abusive relationship (protip: don't date someone who's the wrong kind of crazy) and I dealt with it for a long time because I loved him, and because I convinced myself that he couldn't help the way he was due to his problems. Truth is though, he fucked me up pretty damn badly. Now, it's pretty easy for me to write someone off if they give me shit. Which I suppose is a good thing and a bad thing, but after what he put me through and the years it took me to revert to normal thought patterns, I will never put up with anything of the sort again.

I'm Right there with ya except he was a verbally abusive BF but I'm confused to

depends on how they were abusive and why and if they sought help or are willing to

I"ve been there, done that, know EXACTLY what you mean. I'm 35, when I was 16 I had a horrible bf.. I would have sold myself short just to be with him. After we broke up, I would allow him to use me for sex just because that time to be with him was worth it to me. OMG when I look back I disgust myself. Now, though, I've long since regained my self esteem and I'm a lot wiser and happier. IT is psychology that when a man mistreats the woman, and all too common they lower your self esteem and then you start to care more about him than yourself and THAT is the kiss of death. I'd say if you can, get counselling, if you can't, then the best thing for you to do is to start doing things, not for him, but for YOU. For example start working out. Also, realize that he has to be aware of how he's lowered your self esteem, and probably on purpose. Realize how toxic and evil he is. It is hard, but you can get thru this. Plus have your gfs support you emotionally.. and ask them about what I'm saying and see if they agree.

I completely understand, I'm in the middle of the same type of thing. I left him and went to live with a family member who was also abusive but not physically. I ended up back with him 9 months later. I've been here 7 months now and things started to get very difficult again a few months ago.

abuse victims can get a sort of Stockholm syndrome. believing what they say, even though you know its wrong.

don't just walk away, RUN, run as far and as fast as you can. Find a S.T.A.N.D. or some similar abuse help group near you. Hell even contact Al-anon.

Victims of abuse can be as screwed up or more so than the abusers themselves. its like an addiction, find a counselor or priest or any mental health professional you can to help you stay away from him. its a long process, but he won't change.

you may also need help changing your outlook, because most abuse victims will choose the same type of men over and over again.

I hope you find the strength that I myself am just starting to get again.

PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE? kind of strange... but understandable if there are SOME parts to him/her that you like. but emotionally abusive? sure, personally i know what you are talking about if thats the case. and they drive you crazy but you just cant help but want to be with them for other reasons aka other facets/dimensions to them as a person or the relationship... very normal. just not healthy.. youre gonna have to come to terms and abandon it if its doing more harm than it does you good. you know? length of the relationship is never an excuse to continue holding on... although ... i should practice what i preach..