Is it normal i shut down when i'm not with my boyfriend.

25% Normal
8 Comments

We've almost been together for a year and a half. Throughout most of our relationship we've spent practically all day every day with each other. We've only had small arguments rarely in the relationship, and we also seem to be closer afterwards each time. We are significantly compatible.
Recently he got a second job and got promoted to a supervisor shortly after getting the job. Now I see him for just a few hours four times a week.
I only have one part-time job so I have plenty of free time. I don't have friends where I live now because I moved here from out of state. Even though it has been well over a year I cannot seem to make any friends. I can't drive so I can't just take myself to places to occupy myself even if I did have the money to support it, which I really don't.
As a result, if my boyfriend is at work all day and I cannot see him, I'll spend my entire day in bed, feeling fatigued and nearly depressed, only occasionally getting up to eat and take care of hygiene. I usually just watch tv or dabble on my phone the entire day until he gets off work and calls me. He'll usually call around midnight or 1 and we'll talk til about 2. Then I stay up anywhere from 3-5am preparing for the next day.
I don't get anything accomplished when I'm not with him. I seem to lack the energy to even get out of bed which is why I'll'barely eat in a day. It seems to be that only when my stomch hurts from intense hunger that I actually get up to deal with it. Yesterday's food intake consisted of a chocolate graham cracker for breakfast, a bag of doritos at lunch, and 5 spoonfuls of oatmeal at 4am before bed.

When I am with him I become fairly well energized and uplifted. I tend to eat more when i'm with him in a day than I do in a 3-day period of being alone.
I'd like to add that I'm in a constant state of sickness until I see him. On days when i'm alone I'll wake up with a sore or clogged throat, aches and pains, headaches, and mild nausea that with continue the entire day. Every time I see him, all of these symptoms seem to disappear and will only reappear when he drops me off back at home.

Is any of this normal?

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 73 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • ProseAthlete
    10 years ago | pl

    That doesn't sound at all normal to me. You may want to see a doctor to find out if you have physical reasons for your malaise; if you don't, then see another doctor about what sounds like severe depression. I know that might be hard to do without driving, but what you describe sounds dangerous.

    One person cannot sustain your interest in life forever. It isn't fair to expect that of him, and it isn't fair to yourself to thrive only when supported by another person's presence. You shouldn't have to live like a vine, standing up only when there's something for you to climb to find the sun.

    I wish you the best of luck.

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    • CforCourageous
      10 years ago

      I completely agree

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You have a dependancy issue which is really bad to have. Just force yourself to do things anyways even if you dont want to and after awhile it shouldnt be so bad.

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  • CforCourageous
    10 years ago

    NO, that's not normal! Sweetheart, you have to start living life for YOURSELF! You're better than that. God forbid, but what if you lose your boyfriend? What if something happens to him?? You can't live your life for anyone but yourself! Go out and find some hobby that makes you happy. Its great that your in a happy relationship but you still have to be an individual! You have to be independent. No man wants a woman that clingy and needy. Live life for yourself sweetheart, you'll be much happier. God bless you.

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  • eats,shoots_and_leaves
    10 years ago

    you need to get out more if you can't find friends you aren't looking enough or in the wrong places

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  • dirtybirdy
    10 years ago

    That's pathetic.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    You know there is a restart function too right?

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  • nattyally
    10 years ago

    I'm in a similar position myself.... I can relate. I'm in a long distance relationship and I see my partner every 2 weeks or so.... When he's not here it's like I can't function, I get horrific aches and pains and literally feel like I'm going to die.. I have no explanation for this, but I can completely relate. In my opinion as someone who's going through it I don't think it's normal...

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