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I'm a girl. I'm slightly chubby but normal looking, I think. I haven't had sex in three years, so I paid my best friend to have sex with me. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone we had sex. IIN?
If this story is true - My guess is the guy wanted to ensure secrecy, so he asks her to pay, then she would be less likely to talk about it with others because of the added taboo of her paying for sex. Still, I agree that he's not much of a friend...
That said, I don't think that this is normal, but I also don't see anything really wrong with it, sometime you just need to get back up to the plate!
That makes a lot of sense. Or, it could be that he's either very cheap or he's a tad hard up on cash.
Well, To be honest. And I am going to be a complete jackass here. She is probably not a looker, I mean lets be honest about that. Hot girls and even average girls get offers of sex for free by the dozen. So yea, maybe it did seem more like a chore for him so I can kind of understand the 60 bucks. Haha if you can make money by doing something as easy as sex why the hell not?
That's not true- where you said "Hot girls and even average girls get offers of sex for free by the dozen." Most guys are not attractive. They expect girls to be attractive, but they don't try to be attractive for girls.
If you're a girl, you may have dozens of guys who would sleep with you--- but they're all ugly. There are not enough single, goodlooking guys- for a girl to find someone she is attracted to very easily. Maybe her friend was attractive, and that's why she used him as a shortcut?
First of all, I don't know if you are a guy or a girl but let me tell you. Almost all men want to look good. Because if you do you get a shot at the ladies. I don't know where you are from, where guys just walk around with their hair and beard on ther knees but every guy that I have ever seen at least did something to look more attractive to girls. Next. Ofcourse they expect girls to be attractive. the same as that girls expect men to be attractive, the first thing you do when you see a new person is decide if he or she is good-looking. even if its sub-concious. But yes, maybe I was overstating the average amount of men that flock around girls every day. But its human nature to want to have sex. There are no shortcuts because as a girl getting a guy to sleep with you is easy as cake. But ofcourse you have to be attractive because thats just how the game is played.
I think this is just about her being afraid of being rejected so she took a safe bet and she payed a good friend to do it. Either that or she is too afraid to go on the hunt
I guess I don't know your gender/sexual orientation either, or whether you're attracted to men. But I disagree-
if guys really were trying to be attractive, then they wouldn't shave their heads, or wear baseball caps, or grow big fuzzy beards. I'm a girl, since you asked. Mostly, all guys have to do, to be attractive, is grow their hair out a few inches- instead of keeping a close crew cut. I'm not trying to be snooty on purpose- but I've found that guys who have hair is the only thing I'm attracted to (I can't help it). But I rarely ever see a guy with more than a crew cut. I've gone out looking, a lot. I've suggested to guys that they should grow their hair out. They usually don't want to. So I'm speaking from experience- that it does not seem like guys are willing to be attractive for girls. For me, being a girl and wanting to date a guy I'm actually attracted to-- is very very difficult.
Some girls do like short-haired, plain looking guys-- but that doesn't mean all of us do...
I guess it's pointless of me to post on this topic though- I don't really care that she paid for sex, or why. It sounds like both her and her friend got something they wanted from it...
Good for you! About time women got real about their needs and stopped worrying about what others think. I sincerely hope it was enjoyable.
Absolutely. I see nothing wrong with professional sex. If regulated and clean, it is a very important part of society. It's when it's illegal and underground that it becomes a dangerous thing.
There are a lot of people who do not have the luck to be born with appeal to others or the mental stamina to date in modern society. Why should they go through life without sex or the companionship of another, even if they have to pay for it.
Do what you want, and don't let anyone judge you for something that hurts no-one. I think it's normal.
Even if you are chubby you are a woman, in my experience women NEVER have to pay for sex. There's always men who'd want them anyway.
I however think that if you and your friend were both happy with the deal, no harm done.
Instead of treating yourself like some worthless object, why don't you learn to have a little respect for yourself?
I'm curious: If it had been a guy who had paid a female friend for some sex, had he then treated himself like some worthless object?
and
@: Avant-Garde
My brain is trying to formulate a coherent response to these two comments.
I agree that this woman sounds as though she really does think that nobody would sleep with her. Now we do not know her circumstances and it could be that where she lives there is not enough people for her to see much possibility for sex. Maybe she only wants casual sex and she is afraid of how she will be judged for that. We just do not know, so it is hard to decide if her self esteem is the true cause for her actions.
Yes, thr, I do think that if a guy had his self-esteem as the cause for paying for sex that he is treating himself badly. In fact, I know a guy who did exactly that. I think it is sad because he is quite a nice guy and his most unattractive quality is his fears and paranoia about himself. So Avant-Garde's advice is exactly the same as what I have said to my male friend.
Yet I hold the opinion that it is totally okay if a person of either gender is paying for sex because they wish to circumvent the usual social means of acquiring a sex partner, and all parts are aware of the situation, and nobody gets hurt. However, such persons should be aware of the consequences. It breaches the moral code of a lot of people. So my advice keep it to yourself, be at ease with the decision you made and your reasons for doing so and keep it private.
You make some excellent points here. In general, I think that paying for sex and/or casual sex really cheapens the concept of "love". I realize that this is probably not what these sorts of people are looking for, but still. The Mainstream acceptance of this really goes to show just how much society has changed. Before Sex became commonplace in the media and society became obsessed with it, this was completely unheard of. There were many taboos associated with this. The only exception I can think of is the "tradition" where American fathers would take their young sons to prostitutes, who in turn, would show them the ropes. Afterwards, they would no longer be boys, they would be men. Of course, this is outlawed today, but that was the mentality back then. There probably are still some fathers who have this mentality and have passed it on to their sons. Who in turn, probably act on it when they become of legal age.
It depends on how you look at it. In general, society seems to view this as being normal. I think that it has roots in my country's past where in which, when a boy reached a certain age, their fathers would take them to prostitutes. These prostitutes would show them the ways of the world and then after the session, when they came back to their fathers, they ceased to be boys because, now they were men. Anyway, this practice is now outlawed and rightly so, but I believe that these father's who had this mentality passed it on to their sons who in turn, also did the same with their sons. And so on. (etc)
Let's say that a man is prostituting himself, his is then treating himself with very little to no respect. His clients aren't going see him like a person or treat him like one. They are going to treat him like a fucking object.
I dont agree with what you did, instead of putting in the effort and learn how to get with men you cheated.
How can anyone bear to do such a degenerate thing? Honestly, I have no time for either prostitution (whatever sex is involved) or casual sex for that matter. There's way too much of it around these days and it's something that is promoted but is so obviously messing people up!
There simply cannot be anything but delusional connection in such an act. How can paying for sex or companionship be anything other than a material transaction, totally empty of soul? After all, without the money, it wouldn't happen- (with a paid friend or prostitute anyway).
What on earth is wrong with dealing with it via nature's own way, masturbation? At least then once the physical urge is over with, there are no feelings of guilt, regret, remorse, harm or embarrassment involved.
I do hope you won't do such a thing again. If you are worried about being chubby and think that is preventing you from finding somebody to date, then have you considered doing some sort of physical exercise (if you don't already) and maybe even paying more attention to diet? If nothing else, physical exercise can make you feel better about yourself and even take up so much energy, that you don't feel the need for sex at all!
If you could point out to me where anyone did anytging wrong or anyone was hurt or cheated in any way, that'd be great. People pay for material shit all the time. So instead of paying to see a band everyone in the world should form their own bands? Instead of going to a restraunt and enjoying a steak everyone should learn to cook like a chef? Because otherwise it has no soul?
Sex simply feels good, and there will always be people that want to feel good somehow with the money to pay someone to do all the work for them, and there will always be people that know how to make people feel good someway and are willing to do the work in exchange for money. What's wrong with that?
People visit prostitutes when their needs outweigh their possibilities. OP must have chosen her friend because he was very attractive to her, not because she couldn't find a man on Earth who would do her. I think women can get laid whenever they want to if they lower their expectations enough. But if an overweight or ugly woman wants to have sex with a handsome guy she has to offer something really good.. or money.
Same with men, if the want a really HOT woman they have to flash some money. I'm not saying that there aren't any exceptions, but it is highly improbable that an ugly man/woman could have sex with a beautiful woman/man. Life is not fair.
Is it pathetic to pay for sex? Yes, regardless of gender. It may bring temporary pleasure, and a huge feeling of emptiness afterward. People get used to easy sex and don't want to put in an effort to work hard to get it anymore. Easy sex degrades the whole experience.
I see a lot of long responses here that are overly concerned. Ugly men pay for sex, why shouldn't ugly women? I never thought I would hear of a woman paying for sex. Women have dildos, vibrators, etc... so if they needed penetration or whatever, why wouldn't they just use those? I think it's because women find some kind of sick emotional connection with sex.
I'm going to add a bit more. The idea behind my first comment is that a 'slightly chubby but normal looking' girl should have no problem finding some guy who would have sex with her. Even a decent guy. That may, however, to too high a degree be founded on a stereotypical and distanced view of what it is like to be a girl.
More seriously, I think it's odd that you have paid him for what I guess can be seen as a favour. In comparison, I think it would be weird if someone paid their friends to help them move.
I don't know what lies behind what you write about having promised not to tell anyone. Of course, it could cause problems, e.g., with a future girlfriend of his. I hope it's not because you think it would be embarrassing for him. He should be proud that you wanted to have sex with him.
I don't think it's normal. By normal I mean I have never had that thought cross my mind. I think you sound slightly desperate, resorting to paying someone to have sex with you, but a woman has needs dammit...gah I am on the fence...
I will say that I think it's not normal, but am not the one to lecture you on how right or wrong it was. You are a big girl. If it felt ok, then good! But if you felt like you degraded yourself, then you hopefully know better now.