Is it normal i need your help with something.

I've never really had a boyfriend before in fact I've always been rubbish at speaking to people. So when I discovered the online world and made loads of mates it was brilliant.

There was someone Inperticular who I made good friends with. We said nothing would ever come of it and I agreed. Time passed and we began to like one another the thing is I pushed him away because the thought of telling my parents who don't understand the cyber world made me so anxious. I continued to push and I messed things up very bad.
However it got to a point where my mum pressured me so much that I told her and she was fine with it so it made me happy.
We planned to meet for a long time and yes he is genuine. We have video chatted etc. The thing that bothers me is he won't find work. And it bothers me more than I think it should but I can't help it, so what do you people think.
We've spoke for a couple of years but only really liked each other a year and with me messing up it has set us back a bunch.
I can't visit him first as I am tied down with work at the moment. And he said he would come. He has promised this year. But he needs a job to earn money to save up and he won't really look.

So I pushed him away again, with the pressure of my mum saying he's leading you on, and the pressure from my own mind worrying and saying your time clock is ticking how much longer are you going to wait?
But I miss him and I think we could've been brilliant.

Any ideas ?