Is it normal i need to know why my parents fought?

15 Comments

Before you say it's none of my business, hear me out please!!

I had a terrible childhood. Both of my parents were awful but my dad was the worst. He did terrible things to us all. My mom was awful because she sat idly by and let it happen to us our WHOLE lives. We begged her to help us. We begged her to leave my dad but she never did anything. Just sat there and let whatever happen to us.

When I was about 21, after I had moved out, my parents fought over something. My dad did SOMETHING. My mom packed his things and put it all on the porch.

I want to know what he did that made her do this. I want to know because I want to see what the fuck was more important than US. Why were WE (her children) never important enough for her to kick him out? I've GOT to know what was more important than us.

She won't tell me. My brother knows somehow but we don't talk and I doubt he'd tell me anyway. Damn it, I NEED to know!! I feel like I have a right to know.

Do you think my mom should tell me?

Yes, she should tell. 29
No, it's none of your business. 11
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    I still think it is none of your business even after hearing you out.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I know it's really none of my business technically but for the sake of my sanity I need to know. I can't accept not knowing as being 'OK'. It's bothering me so badly that, seriously, my mental health (what's left of it), depends on it.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Maybe see a counselor or a psychiatrist if you can't get closure without demanding your mom...

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    You should probably assume is has something to do with another woman. That's a really safe bet.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    11 years ago

    I think she should tell you. But I'm also thinking that depending on however bad it was, she could've been too intimidated to do anything about him. So she probably prolonged it, until one day she got up the courage to do something about it and kicked him out. Hmm... I don't know.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    Give it time. Picture her as someone who isn't her your mother. Based on your behavior, I wouldn't confine in you either. Something happened that finally made her do it. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe she doesn't want to discuss this personal matter with you at this time. And she doesn't have to. She needs your support, not your anger over the situation. Give her the love she needs to get past a difficult situation, not resentment and critisicism for not doing it sooner.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      What behavior? I've only asked her once, nicely (Mom, what was the fight all about?) and dropped it when she said she didn't want to say. This happened years ago, too. It's been bothering me for a looooong time.

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  • SangoNyappy
    11 years ago

    Maybe he cheated on her or something

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      He's always done that so that's nothing new to her. She accepts it.

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  • Devyn
    11 years ago

    It's possible that as she is getting older her patientce with him, or some sort of apathy she held while you were a child is waning. It may not be the importance of the incident that caused her to throw him out, but rather the timing.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    I think that she was waiting for you to leave home before leaving him. Maybe she had stayed because she thought that children need to have both parents under the same roof. Anyway I think that you are an adult now and that you know that there are things that our parents do and say that we'll never know. That's the way it has always been and that's the way it wi;; always be. And stop blaming your mother.

    PS: I think that's you should try to live your life and forget that incident. In other words you should mind your own business.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      "I think that she was waiting for you to leave home before leaving him."

      No. This much I am SURE of. He was only gone for about 1 day anyway and he weaseled his way back in and they're still together. It had nothing to do with her kids. It was something he did to her that sparked her kicking him out.

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      • kelili
        11 years ago

        That must be something that really hurt her and that she would like not to share with her CHILDREN.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          My brother knows.

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    11 years ago

    I hate when people say things about how terrible their childhood was and how they go on and on about it. We get it.

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