Is it normal i miss my ex?

76% Normal
8 Comments

To start off Im 20. ive been in several relationships and messed around with some girls like the average 20 year old guy.I had met a girl that i thought was so great till the night she went home with another guy. I was fine after about a month, I didnt care that much.when this first happened i was asked by an older friend what i wanted in a girl. (he was trying to make me cheer up) long story short I thought up my dream girl in that bullshit session and a month later she walked up to me. this girl was so beautiful i noticed her every time she was out where I was with friends but i couldn't get up the courage to hit on her. after noticing she was staring me down and my friends telling me she was I was determined to talk, but when id see her she was so pretty i just didnt. (and usually i dont care Ill talk Im outgoing) she came to me finally found out she was 26 (I was 19) and a mother of 2 boys. she finished talking walked off and she was so cute i chased her down in the parking lot and got her number regardless if she had kids. we talked and she turned me down the first time I asked her out she was seeing a 39 year old man and I was too young. I kept on trying that weekend and she finally asked point black if i wanted to have sex with her. we started seeing each other and soon she loved the attention I gave her she dropped the old man completely and things took off like crazy, we got really close oddly fast. soon it was a strange thought we never met till a month or two before. I was the first guy to meet the kids since she kicked out her husband and grew fond of them also. I, up till this point thought most girls were the same when it came down to it.It was odd how comfortable I we were so fast and soon everyday I was there. we had rough times but never lasted a week apart, even with my over protective parents finding out how old she was and that the kids were hers not her brothers. Her brother hated me and she stood up to him and things just kept on going. we got into a big fight and I took off to the beach with my best friend. I got a call from her and she said shed been evicted she lost hours at her job and with providing for her kids couldnt keep up with rent. she thought of everything she could do even letting the kids go up north with their father and she getting back on her feet. her sister offered her a place to stay... in Arkansas. I tried to get her to get a place with me but she would always say id leave for the next best thing and that i was throwing away my life on her and "desered better" I didnt want better. so a few months have gone by and we still talk, but the thing is i still care about her and the kids. she impressed me so much and was such an interesting strong woman.so perfectly beautiful and her personality was amazing. well in high school and whenever i messed around with any girls even the girls before I though I liked it didnt take long before I was back to normal. I feel like its weird I still think about her and care for her and for a 20 year old guy to miss the kids alot too. Ive even tried the rebound theory and been with a great girl since then but she just doesnt compare. I miss her and still love her even after sleeping with another beautiful girl and meeting a handful of others that dont interest me. i dont feel like its normal for a 20 year old guy. Like I said Im usually fine. Ive always been very mature for my age and seem for favor older girls, I look older and am always with a older group, and i just feel like im being really immature and abnormal still after 5 months missing and caring about that one girl. so is this normal? and dont say get over it thats how I want to be and try to be. sorry its long, any opinion is appreciated.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 25 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "she came to me finally found out she was 26 (I was 19) and a mother of 2 boys"

    She looks good, but it's a mess down there hahaha.

    Oh Tommy stop it.

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    • zacbradley
      11 years ago

      to be completely honest I never had that thought until the first time we were about to have sex. lol just before i thought "two kids came out of this, this isnt gonna be good." I trooped on though. lol and it wasnt a mess. in fact it was better then the high school girls i was used to. she had a obgyn dr. say it didnt look like shes had kids and she told her she had 2 boys she told me the dr said her anatomy was very well in tact.lol she secret was kegels. I kinda miss that too. haha.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Lols.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Normal but dangerous.

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  • zacbradley
    11 years ago

    She blew up my phone the other night talking about things that had been hapening to her lately. she got done and said that she hadnt told anyone about it yet other then her boyfriend. she said she missed me and had very "fond" memories of me. talking to her just makes me happy, and she seems to still enjoy it. she seems to always do this when she is thinking her new man isnt working out. she sends me pictures and stuff. I honestly wonder if shes just seeing if i still think about her sometimes. so weird.

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  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago

    Is it normal to miss her? Yeah. Is it healthy? Not by a long shot, I think.

    Almost everyone who lives and loves long enough has that relationship that gets star-crossed for whatever reason. She moves away, he lives in another country, they have ambitions that take them in different directions, their families hate each other, something. Those relationships always seem more intense, especially after they've ended or gotten stretched to a long-distance relationship.

    You feel as though fate is denying you this person, so what would otherwise be a pretty average relationship becomes a Grand Passion, something on a Shakespearean level of intensity.

    Here's the thing about that kind of relationship: If Romeo and Juliet weren't told they couldn't see each other, they probably would have dated for a few weeks and gotten bored. I'm not saying you don't truly love this woman or that she doesn't love you, but it's also entirely possible that you love what she represented -- maturity, complexity, difference from other women you've dated, something -- and miss that more than you miss her as a person.

    A long while back, I had a star-crossed thing that broke me up for months, but in retrospect, it really wasn't about how special he was; he wasn't really Mr. Wonderful. He was unattainable, though, and unattainability plus attraction led to...well, obsession, really. Now that I look back on it, I feel as though I dodged a bullet and wonder why I ever wanted to step in front of that particular line of fire in the first place, but it's normal to feel a more intense sense of loss when circumstances part you than if you were to part on your own.

    If I could offer some advice, give yourself a month or two of not talking to her. Oh, and please stop comparing other women to her. People are not quantifiable and measurable like stacks of pancakes or toys. Also, "I, up till this point thought most girls were the same when it came down to it" is so sexist that it made my head spin. With all due respect, work on that shit before you get with anyone.

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    • zacbradley
      11 years ago

      you know your right. I think. I also had gone a couple months without contact then she called me. Im not sexist its just ended up that was just as many girls say all guys are the same when it comes down to it. i also have heard its bad to compare, but I think everyone compares. It bothers me that I feel like no one will "measure up" ya know?

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      • ProseAthlete
        11 years ago

        It's lousy and sexist when women do it too, I agree with you. I've never met any two people who were really much alike once I got to know them, though, so don't listen to anyone who says "ahh, all ___ are the same." They're full of shit. :)

        I also know what you mean about the comparing thing. It's hard not to sometimes, but that goes back to the whole everyone-is-unique thing. Yeah, you can say that this person is better-looking than that one or that one's smarter than the other one, but because each person has so many attributes, it's impossible to round up enough yardsticks to meaningfully measure one against another.

        If she's in Arkansas now, she probably feels pretty adrift herself. She's lived a lot in 26 years, and calling you may be her safe place -- but it isn't necessarily safe or good for you. You need to look after you, not her.

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