Is it normal i'm so different and i want to die because of it?

56% Normal
13 Comments

Hi,
first of all I want to tell you I donť have english as a primary langugae.

Every day I feel so alone, useless, too ugly, not uninteresting. I'm kind of boys, who most of you don't like(skinny jeans, sad face etc). It isn't important so I will tell you my problem.
When i was 10 years old my parrents left me. I went with my brother to home of children. My dad was gambler, alcoholic and my mom "only" alcoholic. Living at home of children ruined my life from scratch. I was happy I had many friends I had girl who liked me I was phlegmatic and I was optimistic. Now?...sad, pesimistic, melancholic. No one likes me I can't hang out with anybody I don't have anything. People just likke happy people not sad people and it hurts me. I can't find any girlfriend I'm so different and strange for other people. I think about suicide I have to do self-harming and and I cry a lot. For girlfriends I'm like too sensitive boy. No one can uderstands me. I'm 19 years old and I never had girlfriend, sex experience or something like that. I decided to live virtual life like browsing pages like favim.com/kiss or we heartit/cute couple, tumblr gifs because it only understands me... yea, but it sometimes hurts because those pictures/ gifs are so beautiful and for me so unreal. I never saw guy like me in my life.

I just wish I will find girlfriend who will likes me as a person because I will do everything for her. It's my dream and I want to show some girl that good guys still exist. I will take her to the cinema, I will do her breakfast every morning, I will cuddle with her I will help her in bad times I will buy her a big bear and I will do other things that other people can't do.

I'm sorry for long text but I couldn't do it shorter. I will be happy if someone will answer me and will understand me how much pain I take. I hope u have a nice day.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 25 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Aliceee93
    9 years ago

    Im sorry.
    First, you have to start loving yourself. I hate it when innocent people have terrible upbringings :( You have to love yourself and find what makes you happy then a girl will come along naturally. And as for 19 an a virgin? There are people older than you who are virgins. But only you can change your life around :( I hope other users give you some better advice! im crap at this :(

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  • Cat_Turnip
    9 years ago

    We are each different and special in our own ways. You shouldn't want to die because you're different. I know how you feel though. I used to look the way you do, with the sad face and what not. I understand. Don't feel that because you are more sensitive that a girl your age won't like you. Take it from a girl your age, sensitivity is an attractive quality. There are plenty of women who are looking for nice, sensitive guys. Hang in there. Suicide and self harm are not the answers. I have been down that road before and I realized I had it all wrong. Suicide is never the answer. If you EVER need to talk AT ALL, whether it's to vent about your whole life, or just to tell me your favorite color, you can private message me and I promise I will listen to you, Okay? Please be sure to let me know how you are doing.

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    • too.different.boy
      8 years ago

      Hi I don't want to pay you for subscribe. Can you first send me PM? Then we can talk, thanks.

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  • Bigheart15
    8 years ago

    Don't feel bad for being sensitive, it's great that you are most women would love a sensitive guy. You have had a rough upbringing and my heart goes out to you it must have been hard but you are your own person now, no one telling you what to do, you have fought your way through. Sex and love will come just don't try to hard. As for being a virgin at 19 you should be proud of yourself. Please believe in yourself and ignore negative things but embrace positive things. You have come this far don't give up :)

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  • Short4Words
    9 years ago

    I know how you feel. I never had your upbringing and still ended up in a similar place so consider yourself strong for making it this far. I feel so different or unable to connect with people sometimes that I want to die, or do really dangerous things because I don't think that will ever change. But I'm full of shit. I'm making excuses. Because I don't want the pain of hoping for something and losing it. But that's not right. There's nothing wrong with hoping and the pain of giving up and not doing anything will always be greater. So I'm doing something. I'm learning to accept myself. I have help of course. Some good friends, a loving mother,a therapist to boot. But you're strong. Stronger than me. You open your guts and you still wish everyone a nice day. You are an incredible person. Don't forget this. Be happy with who you are and I promise you things will change.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Hang in there, my friend.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Very interesting that you would use a word like phlegmatic properly, yet English is not your native language. I must be a real fucking dummy, cause I had to look up it's meaning.
    Basically, you want to die because you are unique? At 19? You sure are giving yourself a lot of time to experience life and figure out who you are. You aren't even an adult yet, by most civilized standards, and yet you are ready to give up and die?
    What can one say to a quitter? Goodby?

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    • harddrystickysocks
      8 years ago

      Well said.

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    • Short4Words
      9 years ago

      I was really impressed by his use of phlegmatic too

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  • daydreamer394
    9 years ago

    Your English is really good, don't worry about it.
    I relate to you very much and you sound like an ideal boyfriend. You're too young to worry.
    If you want to talk, I would always be willing...

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    • too.different.boy
      8 years ago

      Hi I want to talk so will you send me PM?

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      • daydreamer394
        8 years ago

        I don't have Gold, do you have anywhere else?

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        • too.different.boy
          8 years ago

          U can message me on facebook:
          https://www.facebook.com/roman.matys.356

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