Is it normal i'm in love with my best friend?

I'm in love with my male best friend. We've been friends for 12 years. 12 years ago circumstance took us apart from each other. During a breakup with his girlfriend we dated, but then we never had a chance to be because he learned she was pregnant. He decided to be with her. His relationship with her has ALWAYS been rocky. They got married, and are still married. They have a 11 year old and a 3 year old. 6 years ago I finally moved on and got married myself. I have a 5 month old son. My husband and I just legally separated and are divorcing. He cheated and had a 2 year affair. I slept with my best friend 2 years ago...right after my husband started his two year affair. I slept with my best friend because we are in love, and I was angry at my husband. Now that I'm getting divorced, I wish on every star that my best friend will divorce his wife and we can finally 12 years later be together. He says its complicated because he has a special needs 11 year old, and a youngin. He's afraid of not having his kids everyday. I understand the love of children, but is it normal to stay in an unhealthy relationship for over 12 years, just for the sake of the kids? I'm definately in love with him, and I know he loves me too, but is this really too much drama? What can I do to fall OUT of love with him, so I can move on? It seems like an impossible love story. BTW, my best friends want us to just be together already...they see the love and don't understand why we aren't together. HELP!