Is it normal i'm easily jealous over this?

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13 Comments

So the boyfriend and I are on a break since a few days ago. But about 1-2 weeks prior, we got into an argument about his lack of texting habits/not hanging out enough, etc.
Long story short, in past arguments he's said that he just "doesnt like texting anymore, its not you its just texting in general." "its soooooooooo boring." And he "doesn't text as a hobby."
That's all fine and dandy I suppose.

The thing is during the argument he said 99% of texts are from me & he only texts other people if he needs something, etc.
HOWEVER, this random bitch hours and hours away from where we live posts on his fb wall saying 'i feel asleep D;
Sorry u_u"

So of course I was like WTF because he hadn't talked to me all day. And she posted that the next morning. So I did the rational thing and "liked" it. Call me childish haha.
I confront him & he says "Eww why would you like that. Plus that wasn't even last night. I didn't text anybody yesterday because I was at Josh's and didn't feel like checking my phone all the time like I have to because of you"
And that he told me 99% before she got his number, so think again.

But he says I shouldn't think that some random girl from wherever is a threat to our relationship, and just because he has a gf doesn't mean he can't just have a friend that's a girl, etc. But it would be different if they actually KNEW each other & if she was cool with me also. I trust him, I just don't trust her. And the fact that he "doesnt like texting" but texts her.

He gets mad when guys post/comment on my wall but its not like I text them. And you can see everything we say, its not a private convo like he did.

What do you guys think about this?
is it normal or rational to get mad about this and jealous that she's talking to my bf and making him laugh?
And any other advice would be great. Like I said, we're on a break now & things with us are getting better. I just had to ask this since its still bothering me.

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71% Normal
Based on 42 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Young girls don't realise that when they text a man, the man is expecting a question or something he can help them with. This crap of "How's you?" "Do you miss me?" etc etc is just a load of nonsense to a man and not worthy of a response.

    I think that pulling back and letting him initiate contact is the very best thing you can do!! Men enjoy the chase and now you are much more interesting, plus they don't want to lose a toy that they think they own. Stay back and text when you want a sensible answer.

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    • DrinaVonCheez
      12 years ago

      I've taken these responses into consideration...and yea I clearly have trust issues :/
      I have been cheated on & lied to in the past & that's why I suck at giving others my trust. I'm not sure how to fix it either.

      But yea the whole letting him text me first thing is working & its making me care less about how often he texts because since we're on break I'm lucky he texts me at all that day. So he misses me :3

      We'll see where it goes from here but he's made it clear that he doesn't wanna break up with me, but space is good.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    "I trust him, I just don't trust her"

    There is NO such thing. She can't do anything with him without his willingness. Either you trust him, and believe that nothing will happen between them- or you don't trust him, in which case you should just end it for good because a relationship is nothing without trust. It's better to be alone then make yourselves miserable like you seem to be doing now.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    LMAO Hugh fives at liking the status ;) and I think he's not respecting your wishes very much... He better step it up before you start liking other statuses, like single ;)

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  • iowagirl3
    12 years ago

    No offense, sounds like he's got your relationship in the palm of his hand & it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I feel I can comment on this & honestly tell you that if you don't chill out, stand up for yourself & either fix your relationship & set boundries OR end it quickly before you drive yourself insane... you are only hurting yourself & trying to make something work that wasn't meant to be & you'll end up being pissed in the future for wasting so much time.

    My boyfriend & I have gone through the same arguement about the whole not texting me back thing & at first I was PISSED he wasn't responding. But, he works from 6am till sometimes 10pm at night (construction & they work all over the state) & he's a foreman so it probably isn't professional for him to be on his phone the whole time, especially since he has to set an example for the people in his crew.

    Also, put yourself in his shoes! Would you honestly want your boyfriend texting you ever two seconds of every day? Maybe if the texts were nice & sweet & didn't consist of "why aren't you texting me back" or stuff like that. Idk. Do what you want but I know I wonder why I was such a bitch to him sometimes over a stupid text. Go over the texts you send to him & it might make you think about how you are coming off to him. Wow sorry this is so long.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Well first of all...

    1) You're texting him constantly and fighting him when he doesn't want to text back.
    2) You're reading his FB, grilling him over whom he posts to.

    O_o

    If you really trust him then you need to stop trying to control whom he talks to online.

    if you feel you cannot do that, or feel that he'll start cheating on you the moment you stop spying on him ... then why are you in a relationship with him anyway?

    I'll be honest... what you're doing now probably won't win him back. If anything it will drive him away to any other girl who won't snoop into his privacy.

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    • lynn08
      12 years ago

      Angel in a glass dress....There is no woman or even man who hasnt been snoopy from time to time. If there was its probaby because they dont give a fuck

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        So what? That won't mean she's immune from catching hell from it.

        Seriously if a woman cannot trust the one she's with and HAS TO snoop constantly it's not a healthy relationship.

        It's either unhealthy because she's with someone she cannot trust. Or it's unhealthy because of HER.

        Or if you prefer an awesome quote...

        “There are things that I canna tell you, at least not yet. And I'll ask nothing of ye that ye canna give me. But what I would ask of ye---when you do tell me something, let it be the truth. And I'll promise ye the same. We have nothing now between us, save---respect, perhaps. And I think that respect has maybe room for secrets, but not for lies. Do ye agree?”

        ― Diana Gabaldon, Outlander (spoken by Jamie to his wife Claire)

        if you cannot respect your partners secrets how much do you really respect him or her?

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  • AmberAustri
    11 years ago

    And when I went out with my friend, there was this girl he would talk to all the time. He would sit next other all the time and touch her hand all the time and he spent all his time with her. And I was so angry with him and its like he didnt care. So then we broke up and when we did, he went out with her and they broke up and now he goes out with one of my best friends. But whatever

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  • AmberAustri
    11 years ago

    It looks like you didn't make a long story short O.o

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    High* fives

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  • DrinaVonCheez
    12 years ago

    Yes Ive given it a lot of thought. It bothers me because he used to be obsessed with me basically & now work and school and friends are getting in the way I guess.
    I just wanna be the only girl he needs or wants to talk to because thats how I feel about him :/
    But its been about a week on break & I haven't texted him first at all, and he's been initiating it everyday..which is def a good thing since I'm giving him a chance to miss me.

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  • iowagirl3
    12 years ago

    Oh & things would change a lot since there's a girl in the mix now. Don't blame her because you are dating your boyfriend, not this random chick & he's the one who's doing it even after knowing that you two are in the relationship, regardless if its on a break or not. Hope this all helps.

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