Is it normal i'm an "emotionally needy" person?

I looked it up but I couldn't find a word for it; what I mean by emotionally needy is that I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of emotional support and people to communicate with.

Short version: I could hardly talk to my family about many sad emotional matters and got little emotional support. Now I'm living by myself working full time and when I get home I go straight online to socialize. Though the people I had surrounded myself with were those who always wanted support themselves and so I often just go alone somewhere and cry pathetically. Cry because of this support I crave so much.

Long:
Ever since I can remember, I'd always feel very alone as a child. My mother, who has autistic spectrum disorder, was always self absorbed and could not empathize/understand how I felt at all. E.g. I fell into a depression in secondary school and she never noticed until my father told her.
My brother had aspergers, while he was better than my mother with communication there were times when I really needed a shoulder to cry on and he just wasn't able to do that without running away.
(I don't blame either of them, they can't help what they have and I am a pain with my emotional episodes)
Luckily though, my father was a psychiatrist and I could talk to him. Though... He's the opposite of me, he's very self sufficient (doesn't need others to emotionally support him) so I always felt bad talking to him because I knew I was just causing him trouble and I would never be able to be there this way for him.

I often went alone somewhere and just cried whilst trying to find comfort and support from my bed blankets (very pathetic I know, this had been going on all the way through my teen years as well).

Full question:
Basically what I'm asking is, is it normal to always crave this emotional support and not be self sufficient by being able to cope with my emotional feelings myself without pouring them out to others?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 45 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • JenAus1217

    Dear, you have to believe that at some point everybody in this world needs emotional support and nobody is fully/wholly 'self-sufficient'. We all need emotional support. The difference is just how much we need it and rely on it.

    I think it's normal for you to crave for emotional support, although I'd say it's not a good sign when you feel like being in need of emotional support so badly and frequently.

    I actually feel good for you, since you have a psychiatrist as your father. Please don't think that you're bringing him trouble. You're his daughter and you should be more important than any of his other patients to him. I'm sure if he cares about you, he wouldn't mind giving you the emotional support you need and listening to you.

    And I don't think it's pathetic for you to cling to your bed blanket at all. There's nothing wrong with taking solace in it if it really gives you comfort.

    However, I do think you should learn about how to cope with your emotions/feelings. It's alright to share them with the others in order to find emotional support, but in the long term, it's better for you to be able to stabilize them.

    Sorry if you find my advice not so helpful...anyway,

    Take care :)

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    • joybird

      JenAus you always give caring sympathetic advice ... I'm a bit harsher.

      I think that now the OP is out living on her own and can identify her own weaknesses then she needs to put her past behind her and work on toughening herrself up.

      She will either attract dominating partners or needy friends as tougher women like me won't be bothered carrying her for too long.

      OP - I think you should speak to your father, I think he should be able to give you plenty of self-help books. It would probably be better if you realised that everyone has their problems, which are probably much more serious than any you may imagine, so you can't be a burden on other people. No one cares about you as much as you care about yourself, so help yourself and don't rely on others too much for support.

      Good luck.

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      • JenAus1217

        ...Thank you for that :) I'm just trying to give the people who seek advice/opinion here some care and comfort. I do agree with what you say though. Your advice is just more realistic!

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        • joybird

          I've just read your profile and am truly amazed!

          Your English is perfect and your compassion is beyond your years. You must be a beautiful person to know. I am a more hardened cynic (especially with gf/bf relationships) as I am an awful lot older and have heard so many tales of woe. I don't suffer fools gladly and if people aren't working with me, then they're in my way.

          Keep up the good work JenAus1217!

          No doubt we will disagree in the future but no hard feelings ;o)

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          • JenAus1217

            It's really really generous for you to give out such a compliment. It means a lot to me, so thank you so much! :)

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  • RapidRat

    I think that its normal to crave emotional support from people when you have been feeling alone for so long. Having said that, its still a horrable thing to be with dealing with, im an 18 year old straight male and i have been through depression, and im very emotional, especially sinse then.
    When im older, i want to help people, just like you, becuase i have felt so alone myself, and i know its i horrable feeling to have. but even tho im not quilified to help, i help in any way i can for my friends, im helping a few emotional friends (just like you.. from what i can tell) and its nice to know im doing good for them :')
    even though im better now, i still have those low moments when i just feel depressed for no real reason, but i think thats normal after-effects of depression (i was suicidal btw, so it was pretty bad)
    Anyway, what i'd like to say is, i wish you goodluck in the future, and that you find someone to talk to about these matters. i dont know if you will reply to me, or think im weird or somthing, but i would be happy to talk to you if you ever wanted, i'll do my best to help :')
    Its up to you though, and if i dont hear from you again, Goodluck! and i hope the best for the future :')

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    • Thanks so much... Thanks everyone for the comments and everything. I feel a lot better now that I've finally poured this out somewhere...

      Still, it's good you're helping your friends like this... If they're like me, I know they greatly appreciate it.
      Thanks for offering the help, I'd be really grateful if you could help me out too because I badly need it tbh.

      Just a kind person to talk to, would make a world of difference to me.

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      • RapidRat

        For sure, im new to here, like only a few days i've had this account, is there like friends list and stuff? if not, i could add you on facebook if you like?

        Goodluck anyway :'D

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