Is it normal i'm 20 years old but i've never been asked out/kissed?

I'm pretty depressed about this tbh.

I'm honestly positive that my facial features play a huge part in this. I'm really nice to people and I have a playful, fun personality where I smile at literally anything. But unfortunately, my face is rather... well, now that I'm a mature adult in university, I've grown to accept the fact that I'm less than average in terms of appearance and I'm still able to confidently speak in public despite previously having social anxiety/self-esteem issues in high school. No "I'm sure you're beautiful" BS, please. I've heard a countless number of times from people who have seen me in real life that I'm not attractive. And I don't mind. Really. There's nothing I can do about my face.

I'm also pretty short and verrrry skinny, averaging around 5'0 ft and 96 pounds - yeah, I'm a 5ft 20 year old, pretty sad lol - whereas the men my age are usually hitting up to 6ft, sometimes higher, so I'm pretty sure that may have something to do with it. I look like a child in comparison. Perhaps that's why they can't take me seriously? Does anyone else have that problem?

Some people have encouraged me to take the stand and ask the guy out instead. Tbh, I'm confident, but not THAT confident. There was one guy I asked out - he seemed really nice and we used to have lovely conversations and it took me everything I had to bulk up the courage to ask him out, but it ended up with him laughing at me and rejecting me with the most incredulous expression. It was really, really embarrassing and I don't think I could ever do that again.

I'm not sure what to do anymore. My friends and I always joke around how I'll be a 40 year old virgin. I've never kissed a guy, let alone dated one and I'm practically finished my university experience.

Is there anyone else experiencing the same thing? Any advice?

Thanks for reading this. I really appreciate it. And sorry for the essay, I really had to let this out somewhere.

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Based on 57 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Isabella80s

    You're only twenty! And it sounds like you're being hard on yourself and are not at all confident in how you look. Learn to love yourself and you'll radiate a true confidence. Ok, so that's not easy but it is possible. Value what you're good at and even write down achievements everyday. Sounds silly but it's a positive thing to do. Someone out there will like you for you. And only shallow people will focus solely on someone's appearance. Most people are 'average' looking really. Remember Photo Shop and make up are very widely used!

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  • flowergirl87

    It's fine, you're fine and the above comment is spot on. Work on your confidence and view of yourself before introducing someone else into the picture. Also, someone who likes you for you won't care if you're short. : )

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  • Darthtatersalad

    Many people are in a rush to find romance when you have a very large window of time to deal with such things. You should focus on what you want to do with your life and settling in before you really worry about getting into a serious relationship, if it happens on the way congrats but if not then you will be able to focus on one after you know what is going on.

    When you do decide to date a large factor is confidence, people who are confident will register as more attractive even when they are not. Another thing that can affect how people find you attractive is how you present yourself, what you wear and your hairstyle being great examples. Changing such things is easy and can make you look completely different, for example take someone and put them in a suit and they look and feel a lot different then if they were wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

    Lastly relationships based solely off appearance almost never work out and it is better to find someone who loves you for who you are rather than what you look like or other peoples opinions of you.

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  • Anon377

    I had my first kiss when I was 20 as well. I'm also 5 feet tall, and I have small boobs. Believe me, before my first kiss I thought it would NEVER happen, it just seemed like no one would ever be attracted to me. But then at some point, it just happens!! Try to socialize, go out and meet people. Don't get too focused on finding a guy, just on meeting new people and having fun, and I'm sure one day you'll connect with someone and it'll be awesome. Finding a real connection will be so much more important to the guy than your looks, at least if you're looking for somebody who's actually worth your time.

    That's my first piece of advice, but I have a second one that might sound like the complete opposite. I feel like part of the reason it took me so long to have my first kiss was that I was SO excessively worried about it (like you) that in a way I kept guys away because I was really scared I would be a terrible kisser and I was embarrassed that they might figure out I had never been kissed before. So another option is this... just go to a party and get drunk (not gross drunk, just tipsy so you feel more bold and confident) and just flirt and kiss a random guy. I know I was just talking about connecting and everything, and I truly believe that, but kissing somebody just to "get it over with" could also help you boost your confidence and stop making a big deal out of it . Once you've got that out of the way, you won't have this huge FIRST that you haven't accomplished yet.

    Hope this helps!! And just know you're not alone, so many of us can relate to what you're saying :)

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  • Terence_the_viking

    OMG you are gonna die a virgin.

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  • johnathan

    try to find someone

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  • ThousandPoundsOfGanja

    I've heard that confidence is sexy in guys, I personally like when a chick walks up to me and just looks up at me and moves her hair away from her face and like blushes and smiles and then just straight up tells me she likes me. Try it out with some dude, you're a chick, just walk into a room full of guys and say you're interested in getting a boyfriend, no matter how ugly you say you are, someone will be interested also, I like short chicks, one of my girlfriends was 5' and I'm 5'10" or so.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    Pic so I can judge

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    • *fap

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      • GoraIntoDesiGals

        Depends on the pic lol

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        • *on the liquor intake lol

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          • GoraIntoDesiGals

            After I had too much I can't fap lol

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            • Ok like many alcohols but not that many before make fun!

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  • Date a blind guy.

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  • ygrowup

    It's very normal, but you seem somewhat like a rare find, almost unique and desirable to many, so I don't understand the lack of relationships. I am sure that special one will come along soon if you put yourself out there. Good luck with your choices

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  • thegypsysailor

    Short girls really turn me on (really!) and I am not alone there, so don't let that be a concern. Small boobs, ditto.
    If your face is really a serious problem, and truly I can't imagine it could be unless you have burns or other horrific injuries, there is always plastic surgery.
    You have an incredible life awaiting you and if a few grand in surgery could alleviate your anxiety and give you the confidence to get into a relationship or three, what have you got to lose?

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  • andiforoncedonthatehumans

    Well here we go again.I dont think that iin can help you on questions of virginity and relationships.Each human is a different individual.What amazes me is that youre a virgin while you a WOMAN.I dont want to offend you but as far as sex women have it much more easier, unless you keep it for someone special.

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