Is it normal i let my dad get me down?

((I am about to be 24 and still live at home. While this clearly shouldn't be the case, it is something I am diligently working towards changing, and cannot do so overnight.

I would pick up and go, but I have some part time work here, where I am gradually getting more hours, and would rather continue to work more until I can afford to live here, than pick up and move out of town.

I also have friends here. I live in the suburbs, and it is expensive everywhere around here, so I really would need to give it all up if I were to change things over night.))

That out of the way, my dad has always been incapable of communicating with me. The consequence being that growing up I actually did have chores, but my dad would refuse to tell me what they were, and only when I would express to him being hurt by a way he treated me, he would turn around and ridicule me for not doing the thing he never asked.

He says in these times that he shouldn't have to ask, and I can figure it out myself. Which is fair enough, but what I don't understand why he will for example take out the trash every single time for a year, and wait that whole time to yell at me for not doing it.

Growing up I felt like I had this additional responsibility of asking him to parent me, which is a very confusing place to be. I don't think most kids want to do chores, but do so because their parents tell them, and punish them if they don't. For me this wasn't the case, I not only was expected to do them, but also to practically ask to be told to do them.

Today I found myself in a similar situation as we have been having a bug problem in the house. My dad texted saying that we needed to vacuum all the rooms this weekend and do all the laundry, but again didn't specify what was his expectation.

I texted and said I could get most of my laundry done tomorrow(saturday), (i have probably 10 hours worth) and could vacuum my room, but didn't understand what else he was asking.

His response was to say it would be great if I could get it done tomorrow (initially his request was just this weekend) and then spoke more about the bug problem, but gave no clarification towards his expectation.

So then I just said he should call me.

I told him on the phone I had a lot I needed to get done, and would've appreciated advanced warning if he knew ahead of time. I also brought up how he always says he will be more clear with me but never does it.

In response he sounded upset, and didn't really respond directly to any of the points I made, he said that him and my mom could help me clean my room, and also that he wanted me to go through all of my things throwing out what I don't want. (He knows how many things are in my room) and this is a huge time consuming job he didn't even mention on the phone.

I am going to do something fun tonight and it will be cool. But this really brought me down. Every time I talk to him it leaves me feeling awful. I don't know why it still hurts, but I don't know if I can ever accept it. He is not a horrible dad by any stretch of the imagination and I am so thankful this is my situation and not any worse. And of course I feel even more so I can't complain while living under his roof.

I just feel like asking someone to do something shouldn't be so challenging, and take it personally that he treats me like I am some kind of damaged loser incapable of basic tasks.

I think when I was younger I even internalized some of this mentality seeing it in his face everyday and reinforced by the insecurity I think everyone feels as an adolescent even though it was never true.

I see him talk to other people in a normal and straightforward way, but he and my mom both talk to me like I am from another planet, and I cannot tell you how much it hurts.

Moral of the story is I really just need to step on it and move out, whatever it takes. Because no matter how strong I am inside, it really fucks with you to have people be so condescending and treat you like you're their problem and not a human being with worth.