Is it normal i know i'm making the wrong decision but still want to?

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7 Comments

I am in college and I live in the dorms. The boy that lives next to me is really cute ( I know you're not supposed to date people from your floor but I can't help it). So he and I started hooking up. Not having sex or anything, but making out sometimes, usually just at night after the rest of our floor is in bed. The thing is I feel like it is strictly a friends with benefits thing, because we hang out and do plenty of stuff during the day, and talk about actually meaningful stuff, but I don't know if he actually cares about me. And then today this other guy that I sort of know just from around campus asked me on a date, and I don't know if I should say yes. For one, I don't know if the guy in my dorm would be mad, I mean I know he couldn't be, but if he went on a date I guess I might be a little upset but I would have to get over it since we haven't established that as not being okay. But at the same time, I don't think he'd ever take me on a real date. The guy that asked me on the date is really nice but I don't feel crazy attracted to him like I do my neighbor. I consider myself a logical person, I weigh pro's and cons, and in this situation there is a CLEAR pro and a CLEAR con, yet I still want to choose the wrong choice. Is it normal to deliberately be this self-destructive? Should I forget my neighbor because it probably won't turn into anything real, or stick it out a little longer to see if it does?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 19 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Sounds like things are going to turn out pretty shitty for your guy friend. I am a guy by the way. The guy you mess around with will most likely be upset. He is going to feel like shit and he probably won't tell you about it either. Also, the guy you go on a date with could find out about your friend and he will feel uncomfortable about the whole situation and it will likely lead to trust issues between the two of you very quickly. For example him being worried about you hanging out with your friend with benefits. Situations like these is why friends with benefits relationships always end up with someone getting mad, sad, and/or jealous. If things go South it could end up with guys getting the wrong idea about you too.

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    • Badger1994
      10 years ago

      you're completely right. About everything. I've never liked friends with benefits situations because they are just one big, messy, grey area, but I guess I just sort of fell into this one without really realizing it. So, thank you, I needed that. Do you think I should just stop pursing anything with either of them? Is that what you think is best?

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Well, I can't really say. All I know is your friend with benefits is most likely going to get his feelings hurt no matter what you do at this point. Unless you both commit to being exclusive. That doesn't mean you should feel obligated to being with him either. Not a good situation. But usually the best relationships are the ones you kind of fall into anyways. I would do some thinking if I were you.

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  • Badger1994
    10 years ago

    Thanks everyone for the advice, I truly appreciate it. Sadly, we talked and he actually doesn't even have feelings for me anymore, so we decided to be just friends. His exact words were "I liked you, but the spark sort of just faded". That one hurt, I'm not gonna lie. I mean, if I had done something, or said something, I might be able to understand. But nope, it's just me. So, I guess I the longest a guy can tolerate being with me is three weeks. Makes me not even want to try to date those other guys. I feel really awesome right now.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago

    You're in college... LIVE IT UP WHILE YOU'RE YOUNG!!!! Then when you graduate, take your time looking for something serious.
    The smart thing to do would be to try and establish what you and your neighbor are to each other, then go from there

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  • TwoThumbs
    10 years ago

    Um...Ask him. Just tell him the scenario. Tell him you like him...however you've had a couple of guys ask you out. Is what you guys are doing just friends with benefits or is it more? You won't know if you don't ask. If he says friends with benefits then be clear and ask if a you go out with other guys...he's fine with it...then leave it at that.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Woah i started to read then my eyes started to bleed.

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