Is it normal i kissed a transwoman?

I wouldn't really call her a friend since I've never been that close to her, but I've known her for a while, before she started transitioning. It's a pretty big change physically and it's still weird for me, and it's hard for me to disassociate mental images from when her body was more masculine. Anyway, she's been really depressed lately. Well, she always has been, but it's been getting worse. I was worried about her, so after her class I had lunch with her. She didn't talk much.

After we got back in my car, I asked if she wanted to do anything, she just shrugged. I ended up going back to my apartment and letting her in. She followed me in without saying anything. Eventually I got her talking about things. There were some very dark subjects, but I was happy just to give her a chance to talk about things. We went on about stuff for hours. There was a moment of connection and we kissed. It just felt like the thing to do. I was kind of surprised with myself, I didn't expect to do that. But it happened. She was happy about it but it left me feeling weird. I took her to her home a little later.

I've been thinking about it since. Even though I kissed her, I don't think I could be attracted to a transsexual. I don't want to be transphobic or anything but I just don't think I could be comfortable in a relationship like this. I don't know what she's expecting but I hope she's not planning on it being anything more than that one kiss, because I don't want to be responsible for her depression worsening. On the other hand, if she does think there's more where that came from, it would be my fault because I still kissed her, so from her perspective I've given her every indication I'd be willing to go on with something like that.

But beyond what I'm going to do next, I also have to know, why did I do it? It was like any other first time you kiss someone, we followed the feeling of the moment and that's what it led us to do. Normally her being transsexual would stop me long before I did anything like that, but in that moment, it was just me and her. For some reason, it didn't matter then. I know I shouldn't worry about it but it seems like something I wouldn't do. How can I stop thinking about it so much?

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57% Normal
Based on 46 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • thegypsysailor

    It seems it is not her that has you concerned, but your own actions and thoughts. "How can I stop thinking about it so much"; it, not her.
    If you are truly not able to have a relationship with this person, then if it comes up again, you will have to be honest; kind, but honest. You cannot take any responsibility for her "depression worsening"; that is her responsibility, if you are being kind and honest.
    If there is the tiniest chance that you two could be compatible, good friends and that you aren't really as put off by her transitioning as you want to believe, then I think you owe it to yourself to be a bit more objective about this. Good friends are rare in life, lovers even more so.
    I am 100% straight and have not yet met or seen a man that attracted me physically. However, it would be foolish of me to deny myself a friendship with a gay man because I might, at some future time, become attracted to him.

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  • tripw7

    I understand you completely. You are a compassionate person. Be a friend doesn't mean being a lover. So you kissed her/him. Good you are compassionate and a good person. You are not responsible for her behavior with herself or with others. Just be a friend and she will know her limits and will probably have trust in you. This is probably what she need more than anything else.

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  • Avant-Garde

    It's understanding in a way since, it is a big change and big changes usually take some time to get used to. What you have to realise though, is that she was always a woman. She was just unfortunately born in the wrong body. As some people say, gender is not defined by what is between the legs but, what is between the ears (the brain).

    If you don't want a relationship with her, that is fine. Tell her by all means, because I'm sure that you don't want to lead her on. Just let her down easy.

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  • Holzman_67

    transvestites
    more than meets the eye!

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  • Diver2

    Did she have a nice cock and are you going to suck it?
    You know you want to!

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  • dom180

    Use your words to tell her you don't want a relationship with her. Honesty is the best policy. It isn't your fault if she wants a relationship and ends up being hurt, but if you avoid telling her how you feel then it starts to become more and more your fault the longer you wait.

    A kiss doesn't mean you're attracted to someone if it was the emotional connection that led you to it.

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