Is it normal i hit my girlfriend, what now?

Congratulations, you have crushed your girlfriends spirit, and scared her mentally for life. Well done.

If you were a man, you'd leave her and never go near another woman again until you had intensive therapy to control your obvious anger issues. You probably aren't though, so you'll feel remorse for a little while, then beat the shit out of her again the next time she does something to upset you.

I hope one day you get caught, and sent to prison where some muscle bound meathead with anger issues will treat you similarly.

You're an abusive boyfriend.

You say you feel gross hitting women, and that you're not usually physically violent, yet you've hit her more than once, and it doesn't matter the severity. That's what abusive people do.

Right now, you're not taking responsibility for your actions, but instead you indirectly blame her for, "pushing you," or, "starting arguments about your cheating." If only she would let it go, right? Or, if only she wasn't so this and that, right? Wrong. It's not her. It's you. You're making her a shell of who she once was because she's afraid of you now. She'll never be the same.

However, the fact that you've noticed how wrong this is, and feel some remorse, proves you're not a lost cause. If you accept that you're abusive and really want to change for the better, you can get help from a therapist; because most abusers feel they're 130% right, and that their actions are justified somehow, so therapy rarely works.

So my advice:

1. End the relationship. She fears you, and will never be the same girl you've met, that fire that made her who she is has burned out. She's a battered woman now, and needs to help both physically and emotionally.

2. Don't date for a while. Try to understand yourself, and why you get so angry when confronted and more.

3. Seek therapy. Find a therapist you like, and be as open/honest as possible. Therapy will help you uncover your past and feelings you've buried that may have made you so violent, and help you resolve them.

She should push you right off a cliff. Only a pussy hits a woman. You should get counselling, break up with her (she is probably in fear of what you might do if she does it) and turn herself into the police. You worthless piece of shit.

"It's not the only time I've gotten physical to end an argument ... It's not like me to physically lash out at someone, and never a woman."

Well, clearly it is. And with enough force to break her damn face.

"I feel gross like one of those sick abusive boyfriends."

Probably because you ARE.

"And every time we have to explain how it happened it's so unsettling having my girlfriend tell a cover up story."

You mean you're worried the truth will come out?

"I regret what happened. But she pushes me."

That's never an excuse to physically assault someone. If you both use your words to "push" each other, then you're both too immature to be in a relationship. Though I suspect the "pushing" is all in your head, like it is for abusive scum like you.

Do you actually love this girlfriend of yours? If you actually do love her then you have two choices.

You can come clean and admit to what you did when people ask what happened to her and then go and get help for your rage issues, go to see a therapist and go to anger management classes. Yes, I know I'm asking a lot by telling you to come clean with your friends, family and acquaintances, and people may very well lose respect for you, they might even hate you, but what is more valuable to you this young woman and your relationship with her or your pride and ego? I suspect that you are a coward and a pathetic narcissist who is mentally weak and puts his precious ego above everything and everyone else. If I had a dime for every stupid, shitty thing someone said about me I'd be a rich woman! I think you are a wimp! I dare you to prove me wrong, I doubt you will, but I dare you.

Another thing you can do is to simply leave. When she breaks up with you again, and I'm sure she will, be a real man by growing a spine and letting her go. If you think she actually drove you to hit her or that you simply couldn't help yourself then guess what, ya'll aren't compatible with each other. If someone "irks" you so of much that you can't help but to hit that person you don't need to be near that person, and you certainly don't need to be in a relationship with that person.

Not normal.

At least you recognize that there is a problem (and want to change it). Thats a good start.

I have been in this situation myself. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me and I could never let it go. I still stayed with him, which was my own mistake. But I was a teenager and he was much older. After I was having another tantrum about it, he punched me square in the face and broke my nose, just to shut me up from bringing light to his mistakes again. You did the same. You can't punch your way out of your unfavourable actions. Would you punch a teacher who told you off in class? Punch your mother if she grounded you for not cleaning you room? No. But you could punch this poor girl. You need to leave her alone. You've damanged her for life already. It took me years to get over what happened to me and how I was treated and I still have to see the mark he left on me everyday until the day I die. You leave her. She deserves so much better than an abusive cheater. It is never normal to hit your loved one. I'm female and have wanted to punch my fiancé before. He could take it. I know he wouldn't touch me back. But whenever I look at his face, I could never bring myself to harm him. I could never raise my fist to him. And I have been violent in the past. You cannot love her if you hit her. And she deserves love. For her sake leave her. It will hurt her for a while but it will be so much better for her.

"like one of those sick abusive boyfriends."
You are one.

The fact that you've convinced her to cover it up is disgusting. If you really felt bad about what you did you would pay the price for it like a man. If you're saying she used to be fiery and now she's self conscious and quiet, that meams you've broken a part of her. You need to leave her and say it's because she doesn't deserve what you did to her and she would be better off without you. And then next time you meet a girl KEEP YOUR ANGER UNDER CONTROL that's all I have to say. What you did was wrong but it can be fixed by paying the price for your actions instead if hiding from them like a coward.

This one is tough.

I usually post before I read the other comments... But everyone else is right. You don't deserve your girlfriend.

Leave her. Its the right thing to do. Work on yourself. If she takes you back after you have you together, then good. You won't make up for your wrongs, but youd be making things right.

And if she doesn't take you back, then you've no one to blame but yourself.

The way that it is obvious that you don't deserve her is that you pinned the fault on her. "But she pushes me". As if that gives you an excuse to do the things you did. Its the type of talk that unworthy bastards say.

Work on yourself, man.

Women are for smacking! Don't let society make you worry about that stuff. It's totally normal and healthy.

The next thing is that she will kick you in the nuts and grin watching you wither in pain grasping for air crawling on the floor.