Is it normal i have to go to my dad everyday

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6 Comments

Let me get straight to the point, my dad is very overprotective, in fact I could say a control freak.

Ever since he was kicked out of our home by my mum, he's been very adiment that he sees me and my sister pretty everyday unless somthing important is going on.

Every day is pretty much the same routine, he picks me and my sister up around 3 pm from school, and drops us home at 8 every day.

I'm now 18, and this has been happening since I was 11. As a result I feel I have never really had much freedom outside of school. If I asked to go somewhere with a friend, he'd make sure I ring him a couple times during the day or he'd shout at me and get in a mood. If I wanted to go somewhere in the morning, he'd been asking questions about why I'm going there etc like it's all his business.

I have never had a girlfriend, and I understand not every one has at 18 despite what some teens do, but I kind of feel like a prisoner at time and feel the situation isolates me from having closer friends.

Is it normal to be in this situation where I go to my dads every day

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Based on 20 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Beep_Beep
    8 years ago

    I can see why your Mum ditched him.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Your dad is emotionally abusive.

    Abusers are often extremely controlling, and will isolate their targets from other people so they can better control them. You're a possession in his eyes. When the target insist on going out, the abuser will make it a rule for the target to "check in" as often as possible or face punishment if disobeyed. This subconsciously makes the target feel as if he can't escape his abuser and forces compliance.

    Having an abusive parent sucks. It'll be much worse on your sister if she looks of acts anything like your mom, then your father may displace anger on her and treat her a little harsher or hold onto her tighter.

    My advice: Get good grades, graduate, and apply to a university with dorms so you can live on campus. Also, if your sister is younger than you, she'll need your support to stay focus on school so she can leave her father's controlling grip with going to college as well.

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    • Extra_official
      8 years ago

      Sorry for not replying sooner

      I live in the UK and for me school is over. I am not going to university, just looking for a job at the moment, so unfortunately that plan can't work out. I should have made it clearer when I talked about school.
      I feel exactly as you say, my sister feels it worse I can tell. She is younger than me and is looking to go Uni, whether or not shell stay home and travel there every day she's not sure.

      I appreciate what you have told me, sure has given me more confidence in myself to take action or talk to him about it.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Not normal: just don't go and ignore his objections. He sounds like a total possessive control freak and should not be encouraged in his behaviour. What does your mother say about all this/ And I agree with BeepBeep, no wonder she ditched him.

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    • Extra_official
      8 years ago

      So sorry for the late reply.

      Well my mother went through a phase like we do Where he checked up on her constantly after the break up. She wouldn't take it and refused to talk to him. They haven't spoke for a few years now. She tells me and my sister to do what she did, like what you're saying.

      Thank you so much for pointing in the right direction. The more and more I think about it, it is getting out of control and been going on for way too long.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        That's ok, but I did have to read back to check what it was all about.

        Listen to your mum, she knows what she's talking about and be grateful you're learning how to deal with manipulative control freaks now, because unfortunately he's not the only one you'll encounter in life

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