Is it normal i have been so indifferent to the person i am dating?

41% Normal
18 Comments

I am dating a person at this moment. We have known each other a few years and use to go to school together. They were never interested in me but always kind to me. We stopped speaking after graduation. Suddenly 2 years after we graduate they call and suddenly want to be with me.

They say how in love with me they are. I agreed to be with them and really enjoyed being with them psychically. However I have not really been able to be with anyone since my last break up with the person I was with for 2 years.

This other friend who is suddenly interested is all over me. I don't really mind it but I do not show any regard for this persons feelings either. I have been very cold and indifferent to them. Yet they still seem very interested. I see them mainly as a toy. Am I messed up person?

I feel absolutely nothing writing about it either. It is nice being with them and I like to say I am dating someone. They are appropriate enough to bring home to mom and dad. Not that I still live with my mother and father. Just if the person I am dating died tomorrow I really don't know how much Id care.

Is this a normal relationship? Why would someone suddenly fall in love with you after all the years. They always telling me how they want to spend forever with me. I usually give them an uncaring response. I feel like staying with them is wrong but at the same time I don't care.

I usually feel bored or frustrated with most of my relationships and most of my life was never interested in people. I don’t feel the same way with this person though which is really peculiar. I get the feeling they don’t really care about me either so I guess that makes me feel safe. I always had trust issues and don’t have a good relationship with my main family members.

Voting Results
41% Normal
Based on 41 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • lufa
    10 years ago

    Why date someone who doesn't make you happy? I made that mistake when I was in my teens. Then I realized I should only date girls that excite me, best decision I made.

    Granted I am pickier and therefore more lonely, but when I do find a great girl who's also into me-then I feel awesome. That's what life is about, being happy and finding someone who you have real feelings for.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Don't date people then, duh.

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  • PrettySureImNot
    10 years ago

    Sounds like it's time to move on. No one deserves to have their heart played with. And you should only be dating someone if you reciprocate their feelings.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Well at this point trying to figure out their motive. I do not believe they really care about me. I mean at one point I told them I would like to be together and they said no. I really did not take it that hard at the time.

      They were always very kind to me. They suddenly years after call and act like they are head over heels for me. I said yes but I am very confused as to why they suddenly are in love with me. When we stopped talking after graduation and last time they met they were not interested in me at all.

      A long with this they are appropriate and call me old fashion but I always wanted someone I could bring home to mom and dad.

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  • ygrowup
    10 years ago

    What a shame to waste yours and another's time together like this! Yes often after a breakup, many do much like you, but when ready after some time move on and get serious once more on being happy with another. Be sure both of you feel the same way, or move on. Good luck with your choices

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  • GuessWho
    10 years ago

    ------
    Not completely related, but...
    Relationships without love are destined for failure.
    Read what I wrote here: <a href="http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-to-not-like-the-feeling-of-love-156487/" rel="nofollow">http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-to-not...</a>
    I'm not in the mood to repost it.
    ------
    Back to this post...
    It's not fair on the other person if you if you lead them on in a one-sided love relationship.
    The right thing to do would be to let this person know how you feel.
    At some point, you may develop feelings for this person, but you should limit how long you let the relationship continue if you don't. You're eventually going to get bored with your new 'toy' and you will hurt that person more the longer they have been with you.
    ------
    And if you are suspicious of that person's feelings, you should proceed with caution, especially in the beginning to avoid hurting yourself. (the reverse of what I described above.
    ------
    TL;DR:
    From what you said, I am unable to guess whether this person wants to use you or has genuine feelings, so proceed with caution.
    It's also not right for you to just use them, so if you don't develop feelings for them, you should rather end the relationship.

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  • Jeaneathean
    10 years ago

    "I see them mainly as a toy."

    How aware of your feelings is this person? After two years are you ready to be with another?

    I am a bit confused: forgive me - are there two people you are seeing at the moment? I have read your post over and over, and don't quite get it.

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    • 69
      10 years ago

      haha "I have read your post over and over, and don't quite get it." yes, something like that. i think the writing style made for a rather interesting and intriguing read

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        You enjoy the way I write?

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        • Sog
          10 years ago

          "Them" and "They" should only be used as pronouns for a group of people, rather than one person who you do not want to disclose the gender of.

          Try using "this person" instead in the future to avoid confusion.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Well I kind of get the feeling they see me the same way. I feel like everything they say is a lie. I do not hold myself in high regard next to others. So I am not bothered if they are just using me.

      I am confused and very suspicious as why they would be so uninterested in me and suddenly years later say "Im in love with you". No just one at the moment. I been kind of unable to feel a lot after the person I was with for over 2 years.

      This is an old friend who new me for years even after I broke up with that person and I told them at one point I was interested in them and they completely rejected me. I was really ok with this and did not make a big deal about it.

      We have not talked since graduation and 2 years after they suddenly call saying "I love you. I realize I miss you. I want to be with you forever." So I am wondering what is going on with the sudden change.

      I dont feel a lot for people anymore.

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      • Jeaneathean
        10 years ago

        You don't sound ready to truly commit to one another. You suspect this other person feels the same, but state that they have told you they are in love with you. Not only that, but want to 'be with you forever'.

        These are profound statements uttered in a very shallow manner. But you suspect everything said is a lie, yeah?

        It sounds like you don't/can't really feel a lot for each other. The other person sounds desperate, and probably likes the sound of what they are saying to you.

        How serious or real does this relationship feel to you? And how does the other party view it do you think in reality?

        I truly wish you well, and hope you don't hurt, or get hurt. But something tells me that is not very likely to happen.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Well I feel they have some alternative motive. Be it to look good for parents, or make someone jealous or something like that. I am not entirely sure though.

          Just for them to suddenly act like I mean everything to them when they seemed to have such a lack of interest in the idea before seems like a lie. As of this time I have cut them off.

          I dislike them now greatly and they are as good as dead to me. I doubt I will be the one to get hurt when I already detached myself from the relationship. I really dont think they care that much either though so doubt they would really give a fuck.

          I kind of took this approach with most people. I just cut everyone off. I am beginning to lose my patients with people. I cant deal with this kind of thing anymore.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Seems a bit cruel.

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  • ibreathelectric
    10 years ago

    Uh.. Who is 'they'? There's.. more than one person?

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  • lex-dex
    10 years ago

    I experience the same thing in some of my relationships (to a certain degree, and it's also a little different in some ways). But I don't think it's normal. I think it may be an attachment issue. Take an online quiz to see what your attachment style is.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      An attachment issue? How do you mean?

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      • lex-dex
        10 years ago

        Like some people are clingy (that's an attachment style), some people avoidant, idk what other types there are though

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