Is it normal i hated kids before and might want a baby now?

I have never been what you call a "kid person." Long story short, my mother didn't want me because I was an accident. She didn't like me until I was 18. I was just a kid she had to "deal with" because of her "mistake." But for some reason, she started a daycare business in our home, and she loved the other kids. She told me later that she loved them more because they weren't her "accidents", she didn't resent them.

It had a profound affect on me. I cannot describe the pain a child feels when her mother doesn't love her. I felt inherently less valuable.

My dislike for children stemmed from jealousy. Over the years, I have carried with me a childish, unrationable jealousy for how much people love their kids. ("nobody loved me that way. How come other kids get so much love when I didn't?! If I can't have it they can't" was usually my reasoning.)I had always seen kids as little brats who don't deserve shit and take everything and ruin everyones lives.

But... I feel lucky that I have a knack for self evaluation, and self improvement. My journey of self improvement began when I realised it is not socially acceptable to be a "child hater". I realised it made me a bad person by most peoples definitions. I also am very empathetic, and I realized how offensive and hurtful it is to people when you hate their kids.

For 7-8 years I have been trying so hard to change how I view children, and I think I have succeeded. I still get irritated by ill mannered kids, but that's the extent of it. I am really quite enamored with my coworkers and friends children, and I am surprised that I actually like to watch them grow. I feel like I have been given a gift, that I no longer have to be bitter and hate kids. I also met my fiance 3 years ago, and we are getting married this year. He is a beautiful person, a wonderful man, and when you are with someone you feel that way about, having a baby suddenly seems like a good thing. It will be a blessing, a family, not an "accident". And I am lookig forward to giving my kids everything my mother didn't give me.

Here's my dilemma: I am 24. We decided 26-27 would be a good age to start trying. We want to enjoy our child free days, but we don't want to wait to long or be too old. He is quite the "kid person" too, he wants a baby now. I have no doubt that I will be so in love with our babies that I will not regret having them. But, I grew up thinking I would never have kids. I cannot picture myself being a mother. I would wait until I'm 50 before having kids if I could. I feel like I'm not mentally prepared for it. I just never even considered having kids until recently. It is hard to brand yourself forever childless, and then to plan on having one.

I am scared. I am scared of how my body will look after a pregnancy. (it is a sacrafice I am more than willing to make. It is just a new idea, I have to suddenly come to terms with it) I am scared I will have post partum depression and hate my baby. I am scared to be responsible for how another human grows up.

Are these normal fears? Do other women also have trouble recognising their new role as a mother?