Is it normal i hate my mum?
I've never gotten along with my mother since i can remember and hated being in the same room as her. She use to tell me i was useless, compare me to other parent's children and always say they were better than me, hit me, and never showed physical affection. She publicly screamed at me when i was younger because i wanted to hold her hand, she lied and blackmailed me in order to get me to do something and never had the sense to reason or explain things to me. She would always put my father down and repeatedly tell him she was the bread winner in the family and he was useless. She dominates the cash flow in the house. Made my ex boyfriend cry and told him he was no good for me and forbid me to see him when i was 18 years old. She likes to dominate all situations in the household without being diplomatic and my dad just lets her because he's a mug.
I am 25 years old now and i still do not have a good relationship with my mother even now that she is extremely ill and being ill has not changed her attitude to life or morals. She still blackmails me and my brothers in order for us to do her favours without giving us a choice to do it out of our own goodwill. If we don't help her than she will cut off all financial support. It's one thing i think is disgusting that a parent can do just because so long as a child lives under their roof it's their rules. This doesn't mean it's morally correct to treat and blackmail people like this without verbal reasoning.
I often think about what it would be like to loose her and how i'd feel and often i just feel completely empty and numb about this thought. I don't know if she'd be missed? I'd feel for my dad and want him to be happy.