Is it normal i hate my mother

Is it normal to hate my mother? Its bad enough she left me and my sister when i was two to go to florida to sniff drugs up her nose and drink herself to death and become a bar hopping slut. While I cried every night for her at my controlling abusive father's house. I was so happy after 5 years to finally get to move to florida to be with her..biggest mistake of my life when i was eleven. I just didn't know after that my life would be HELL. All she does is drink and calls me fat. Tonight she said so how much are u gonna eat tonight? with a smile on her face i wanted to hit her so bad but knew she would just call the cops on me and have me thrown out. She's always saying how much of a nothing im gonna be and and that there's no hope for me. Screw her!!. I wish i could stand on my own to feet and get the hell out of dodge but i feel stuck. O and i forgotten to mention the 20 plus times she was bouncin me around from 11 there on and the multiple husbands (5) that i seen her go thru from drug users to seeing her get beat on. I hate her drinking she's 56 and doing shots of vodka and smokes like a chimney always had since before i was born. I remember the time when i was 15 and skipping school living in Va and she had her number 4 husband ship me off on a 12 hour bus ride alone to my sisters didn't even bother to say bye. Or the time she hit one of her husbands and the cops came to the house to arrest her and she was drunk ran into my room under my bed and hid the cops asked me where she went so i told em. she NEVER let me live that one down. She still brings that up in my face that i basically betrayed her? what the hell is wrong with her?. Or her bar hopping with me when i was 5 years old in florida and not making me go to school. I missed 40 plus days in kindigarden. Or how about when my mom had me at this hole in the wall bar when i was 15 and i met this black guy and it was the first time i smoked coke (crack whatever) and then her come in and sit there with us and do it too. I could keep going on and on i'm 29 and am having a hard time dealing with life because of everything i went thru.I blame every bad habit i have can lead back to her in someway. I sometimes wish i would have just stayed with my father(who's also a heartless bastard.)but probably would have been better off. O WELL. :(