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all my life I have never really had the role of my dad in my life and when I have he has been utterly useless. Is it normal that I have a strong hate for him even though he tries occasionally?
Don't hold the bad against him, if he tries it shows he cares and you know that. Just keep doing your part for a healthier relationship and he will probably follow. Many children are forced to be more adult than their parents ... parents are truly the Simpson's (lmao) and they know that, that's why they don't want kids to watch and figure parents are idiots in real life as well.
I also hate my dad, I disagree with most of the things he does, and it always makes me feel so disgussed. I've been ignoring him for a long time now, it's uncomfortable to even be with him in one room. But deep inside I love him, and I wish things were better, because I see he tries sometimes too.
I hope things get better for you, I understand how horrible it is. Just be forgivable, and try to see the best in people.
What an absolute waste of time and energy to hate someone for being who they are, especially if they try to be more like you want them to be, occasionally.
try to help hook your dad up with blow jobs. he's cranky because he needs to release, y'know?