Is it normal i hate it when people get close to me?

29% Normal
11 Comments

I need to keep people at a distance. I'm ok with people as long as they don't get too close to me, and it's been like this for as long as I can remember.
I neither love nor hate myself and I don't hate people in general, but whenever people get too close to me I develop intense feelings of hatred for them and I can't help but wish they died in an accident, died of cancer or got murdered by some crazy person. It's sick, I know...that's why I deliberately limit the amount of time I spend with my friends and family; because I don't want to hate them. They complain because I'm 'so detached' and my textbooks are way more important to me, but they don't know I'm just doing this for their own good. Loosing a friend is certainly worse than not seeing them that often, isn't it?
I also can't have relationships because of it, but I'm ok with that because I don't like being that close anyway. I've never been intimate with someone and I never want to be because to me it's the most disgusting thing on earth. When people touch me it makes me super angry and I tend to lose temper quite quickly even though I'm generally not prone to engaging in particularly emotional or impulsive behaviours.
As long as they're not getting too close, I do love my friends and family, but when people invade my personal space I irrationally feel violated and that they should be punished for doing so. I'd of course never do that myself, as I feel strongly about my ethical principles.
I mean, my life's good and everything works fine, but it's all a bit weird, isn't it?

Voting Results
29% Normal
Based on 45 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • AbnormallyAwesome
    10 years ago

    You probably don't want to hear this, but that really doesen't sound normal. It sounds like you may have been abused or had some other trauma, and I think you should see a therapist. That is of course only if you want to change. But it seems to me, since you are writing this here, that you're not okay with it. Please don't tell yourself "I guess that's just who I am."
    I wish you all the best, and I hope you'll find a way to let some people in.

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  • VnsGx
    10 years ago

    One of the criteria therapists use to determine whether or not a behavior is maladaptive is if it is negatively impacting your life. I know you say you're okay with not having an intimate relationship (which is totally fine, there are lots of other folks for whom an intimate relationship is not a priority for them), but it sounds like these feelings and behaviors are negatively impacting family & friendships that you care about and that, as you said, you don't want to hate them. It seems like that aspect at least is causing you some concerns or anxiety, so I would highly recommend seeking a counselor or therapist to discuss these concerns with. They will be able to help you manage these anxieties and help you figure out ways to change or cope with these feelings so you can have more satisfying relationships with less anxiety or improve your quality of life. :) Good luck!

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I don't know if its normal but I'm similar in a lot of ways although I don't hate everyone. I do need a lot of alone time but like to socialize too. But I don't like to get very emotionally involved. I have aspergers but there are many other causes that could make someone this way. Maybe some people just need more personal space. No matter how close I am to someone I will flip out if they touch my things without asking.

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  • megadriver
    10 years ago

    Go see a therapist. You have a problem. You need to deal with this, otherwise life is going to be tough...

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  • SchizoidPsycho
    10 years ago

    Don't fool yourself there is always a reason. ALWAYS.

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    • SHAKEStheClown
      10 years ago

      Signs point to rape or molestation.

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      • SchizoidPsycho
        10 years ago

        Or physical abuse. I'm with you on that.

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  • SophisticatedPsyche
    10 years ago

    You seem to have symtoms that relate to psychological trust issues and an over emotional personality. Speaking with experience, it is often those who consider themselves distant and aloof who have the most emotional turmoil within. This comes from an inability to admit when you feel a certain way, instead you cope with your inner thoughts through defence mechanisms such as denial. These personality types often release emotion in other ways, sports, art or literature. This will help a lot, however, soon you will need to acknowledge that holding back emotion is unhealthy.

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  • highrider
    10 years ago

    Id like to see u try and ride the train

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    You sound like you have psychological problem for most certains.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    10 years ago

    I hope you learn to open up one day...

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