Is it normal i find my bf unattractive sometimes?

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52 Comments

I think my boyfriend is the cutest guy on the planet.. he's got these amazingly gorgeous blue eyes that just make me melt.. he's got an adorable smile with perfect little dimples that make his smile even more adorable.. you can't help but giggle like a child when he smiles.. He's got an adorable laugh.. freaking hot body.. I'm completely attracted to him.. not just physically, but I'm also attracted to his personality....
I saw him tonight at youth group, and when he first got there, I found him completely unattractive.. I was almost in disgust... but after we kissed, it was back to normal.. I was still crazy head over heels for him...
Is it normal that I thought that? I feel so bad and am very curious as to why that thought came to me...

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78% Normal
Based on 245 votes (192 yes)
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Comments ( 52 )
  • ariannel
    12 years ago

    Maybe you just caught him in a bad light or wrong angle. That happens. I'm a little confused about the "disgust" thing. Thats a rather strong emotion to have towards someone you love just by looking at them.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I know.. I don't know why I felt that...
      Could it have been because we had a little "argument" over the phone the day before? Or that my grandma critisizes him all the time? Or even that my dad told me to think of a reason why I love him and I couldn't think of an answer?

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      • ariannel
        12 years ago

        Well... sounds like there is more there than just whats on the surface. Arguing is normal but unless he said or did something that disgusts you, I don't think it would trigger such a reaction.

        Did he stink one day and now you're unconciously dredging up that memory when you see him? Does he do gross things like spit, fart, or smoke which might make you feel that way? I'm really grasping at straws here.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          He does gross things, but I've known that.. it's never changed my opinion of him... I'm not the type of person to judge people, so the things he's done don't bother me..

          He chews, he has smoked before, he used to do drugs, he almost had sex once, he does things typical guys do... it's never bothered me to the point where I've looked at him any differently..

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    12 years ago

    Normal reaction. If the bond between you is strong enough, which I think it is, it's really no big deal.

    Nothing to worry about I suspect.

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  • iindia
    12 years ago

    I would love to know what other people think about this. Have the same deal with my girlfriend.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    Women experience different levels of attraction to different types of men as a side effect of the hormone changes associated with one's menstrual cycle.

    Sometimes those hormones incline tou to be attracted to more masculine looking men, then more feminine looking men, etc. Use your imagination. During periods of high fertility and ovulation, women are typically more attracted to more masculine looking males for fertility purposes, whilst during low points, women are seeking more feminine men for their natural aptitude at child-rearing and monogamy.

    So yes, it's normal. if you guys have a good relationship, it shouldn't be a problem.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      He's actually like.. in the middle of a muscular figure and a tiny figure..... like, he's very tiny, but he's also got muscle.. especially his arms ;) haha!

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    So what was so "unattractive" about him that you were "disgusted"?

    I mean it's one thing to be disgusted with someone when you fight but... to suddenly find them disgusting for no reason makes me wonder if you're ready for an adult relationship

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I honestly don't know what it was... maybe it was the way he wore his hat (that he always wears) or maybe it was his hair? I don't know... something turned me off for a minute and I don't know what..

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        might be something to think about then

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  • Dozis
    12 years ago

    He becomes unattractive whenever a more attractive guys gets in the picture or your bf starts showing theugly side he concealed from you so well during the last few days/weeks/months/years. Or both.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      "A more attractive guy gets in the picture" ....? What, like cheating on him? I'm not like that.. I think people who have more than one boyfriend/girlfriend/partner are just retarted.. it's wrong..
      As for "the ugly" side he concealed, I already know the bad things he's done.. I know so much about him..

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      • Dozis
        12 years ago

        Or you only knowhat he hasn't been hiding From you for obvious reasons. What you'd most likely be willing to accept and/or put up with.
        What I was sayin is: there are things about him and yourself you tend to forget in order to keep a positive opinion of each other and regard your situation as the best there is or alternatively, the best you could do. But when something makes you start doubting this, you go back to: there is something wrong about it.. so you start considering the old solutions.
        Example: your husband or boyfriend has always showered regularly and kept himself snug.
        Something happens, he starts behaving weird and neglecting himself.
        Or just starts skipping too many showers=you start finding him unattractive and disgusting.
        Practically, you set yourself to accept a certain number and degree of defects, and a certain number and degree of positive attributes.. which tend to fade faster leaving more and more defects for you to notice. So he grows unattractive and even disgusting to your eyes.
        Especially when he starts doing things you see as negative or stops doing things to hide his own defects or make them seem as virtues. You can only stop liking him by using a comparative approach with either the memory of somebody seemingly fitting your picture of "perfect guy" or with someone you just saw or heard about... that's why I mentioned another guy getting in the picture. You just have to accept the fact that whoever you chose as a lifetime companion or boyfriend or whatever, can't meet the standards you set for yourself for an unlimited time. Also because your standards might change. That's all.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          Ok, here's something to know about me... I can read faces... now, probably everybody is gonna bash me for that and say I can't, but I know I can.. I studied it for a year, and have now been reading faces for 2 years.. So when I talk to him about his past, I know he's being truthful and I know there's nothing else, because he's told me all of it.. We're very open and honest with each other..

          And I don't have any "standards" Literally, my liking of guys has been all over the map... I like muscular guys, skinny guys, chubby guys, blonde, brunettes, dark hair, short guys, tall guys, in-the-middle guys..... there's no "perfect guy" to me... just someone who can talk to me like a real human being and someone who can make me laugh without even trying.. and that would be my boyfriend now..

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          • Dozis
            12 years ago

            I noticed you have also been working on your rethoric and persuavive/dissuasive skills. Good for you. This little speech you gave almost made me think of you as something different from a mere hypocrit.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              12 years ago

              um.......okay? I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult...? I think it's an insult... cuz I see hypocrite and immediately see that as insult.. O_o am I wrong?

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  • sassouki
    12 years ago

    Is there so around who just hav been criticising him so badly that it sticks in ur subconscient .it happens to me all the Time when mum mets my bf and just keeps makin fun of him when i see him NeXT first thing i feel disgust

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  • rock-chick
    12 years ago

    thats exactly the same way i feel...i dont luv hm less when i see hm in that way i just feel like wow u realy goin out with hm bt in a "lovable" way lol i hpe use understnd wat im tryng to say

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I honestly wouldnt be worried too much about finding him unattractive in that particular moment, what you really need to be more concerned about is whether his laundry was done and his shirts ironed, was the shirt he showed up to at the youth group clean? If not then you arent performing your womanly duties the way you should be.

    Also did he have a nice dinner that night as well? If he didnt then again you dropped the ball.

    Make sure to know your place in subservience to him and the needs of the household. This will make you feel much better in the long run.

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    • Energy
      12 years ago

      Only do those things if he does his manly things which are...
      -Take you shopping all the time.
      -Buy you a nice car
      -Bring you flowers everyday
      -Repair all the broken things in the house
      -Be good in bed
      And then MAYBE if you feel like it reward him with a nice dinner or whatever treat.
      Just make sure he's doing his man job! Or replace him. Easy!

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Energy do you really think its men's responsibility to buy a woman a nice car, bring flowers EVERY day, and take them shopping all the time??

        I mean seriously that doesnt sound ridiculous to you?

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        • Energy
          12 years ago

          No. You wanted Sexism I got you Sexism, why are you complaining about it?

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago

            Its not sexism at all. The way I described it is the natural order of things.

            What you described is someone being a giant pussy.

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            • Energy
              12 years ago

              Natural order? Back in the 1920's or so yes, but its 2012. Now I don't know if you were raped by a woman, or if your mom abused you but you need to man up! You make us look bad, bro. It's because of so called "guys" like you that women go Lesbian or change their gender.

              Now, I understand if women are mean to you, but it's because of the way you are. I'm sure if you changed you can get a real woman.

              Also, I'm guessing you're old as hell. Like I said it's 2012, wake up grandpa!!! :)

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              12 years ago

              And what you both described is complete rediculousness..... he's my BOYFRIEND... we ain't livin together =P I can't be there to do those things, and even if I could, he wouldn't let me.. he was raised different..

              Slow your horses down people..
              I'm a good girl, unlike most people.. the whole "good in bed" thing.. yeah, that's waiting till we're married..

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