Is it normal i feel like i can't relocate because of my ex?

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2 Comments

I've already got a feeling this isn't normal (but hopefully I'm wrong) but, I've wanted to move to London for about three years now. I got the oppurtunity three years ago but was too nervous to make the big move. I have the opportunity to move again in another few months and if I don't take that one, I will have another opportunity in two years.
I want to go, but then my ex is from London. He moved from London three years ago and has hardly ever been back even to visit and is actually moving to a different country soon for an entire year (I feel he may return to London after this) but I feel like I can't move. The place where I would be moving to is the exact place he was born and spent 21 years of his life coincidentally (unfortunately).
All I can think of, what if it reminds me of him? What if literally everyone I meet, everything I see, reminds me of him?
What if I have encounters with his family or friends? (It is a small, suburban area of London)
What if he comes back and I see him?
What if I only end up meeting more useless men like him who will only break my heart?
I feel as if it's his sort of territory. I told him since the day we met I had always wanted to live where he's from but I know he doubts I'd go through with it.

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70% Normal
Based on 23 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • Wyomingite
    10 years ago

    Sometimes in life, you just have to say, "F*ck it all, I'm doing this anyway."
    It's scary and stressful and outside of our comfort zones, but, at least for me, in the long run it has always paid off. Even when my own "f*ck it all" experiences have gone horribly awry, I comforted myself by thinking that at least now I don't have to spend the rest of my life wondering "What if?"
    With specific regards to your ex, I often tell myself that my past should not get in the way of my future. Whether the past thing holding me back is a person, a negative experience, or an old habit or belief, I usually try to trample that down and go forth anyway.
    I often find that when I do say "f*ck it all", things are not as bad or scary as I thought they were - and even if they are, I still survive! And surviving shit feels GREAT! If you see your ex and have that awkward-but-casual conversation that exes always have, I can almost guarantee that you'll walk away going, "Well, that wasn't awful. I'm tougher than I figured."
    As far as everything British reminding you of him, I doubt it. There will probably be so much new and exciting and strange and foreign going on that your brain won't even have energy to go, "Oh, that's like he ____."
    Good luck to you, whether you go to London or not. Live bravely! Cheerio!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks for the advice, that's very true. I should fuck it and do it anyway!
      Not everything British reminds me of him, because I'm English myself, just live 6 hours away from London. So not all bad.

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