Is it normal i feel bad for this woman at my work?

There's this older lady(in her 50's) at my work who's still fairly new. In the beginning its obviously normal for people to be quite nervous, because they're just learning everything, and they're new there. But its been about 3 months now, and she still seems so timid, and very unsure of herself. And its bad! Almost to the point where she looks like shes ready to cry. One day, she actually did start crying.

People know very little about her, because shes very quiet. So they all say things about her behind her back, calling her a freak, retarded, and they even went as far to say that her husband probably beat her so badly, and thats why shes so weird. And people from the other departments have said this as well.

However, I always think of myself and how I was when I started working there, and can relate a little bit to how shes feeling, so I always find myself standing up for her. But everybody laughs and says; "Oh please!! You were not as bad as her. Shes like a freak!". I told my other coworkers how messed up I thought it was for them to talk about her that way when they really don't know her from Adam. They were like; "No! I'm sorry, but theres really no excuse. Shes a freak and nobody likes her!". So... one day, I thought maybe I'd actually find out WHO this woman really is as a person.

We were on the same shift, and it was just the two of us walking together upstairs. I tried opening up a little bit to her, and little by little she started opening up to me. One day she told me she actually feels more comfortable around me, and that I seem so calm all the time, so that makes her feel better. Whenever we're on together, she opens up now. But to only me. She's told me some things that I thought were really very sad, and it explains a lot of her behavior. She battles with depression, she has a lot of personal problems with her family & is in the middle of a divorce. She got teary eyed talking to me about a lot of these issues. But I feel so bad! I'm running out of ideas on what to say, and how to make this woman feel comfortable, and actually welcomed. I've thought about speaking to my boss about this. But she really has no idea people are saying these horrible things about her behind her back. I feel myself sticking up for her everytime. Like I'm some kind of warrior or something. Sounds dumb, but I really wanna help her.

Voting Results
93% Normal
Based on 71 votes (66 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Be a warrior. I would put all those assholes in their places. Ignorant fucks. What gives them the right to call anybody a freak when they are shit talking about people with no real motive. Just be cool and don't get confused and think you have to be a fucktard like the rest of your colleagues. Empathy and compassion.

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  • in front of others talk openly to her and include her in a carefree manner, youve done enough one on one, its not good for her to rely soley on u, they will give up on her if someone popular includes her , just one thing (which u probly know already) never let on to her bad things said

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  • Devyn

    You, are an awesome person

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    • NocturnePonyFan

      Piss the fuck off.

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      • Devyn

        Love and tolerance?

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        • Hey, don't listen to them. And thank you for your lovely comment! You're an awesome person too! :)

          And thank you to everyone else as well. I really appreciate it.

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  • golden_showers

    you don't know what's going on with people. some people have mental illness, and/or difficult circumstances. you never know, anything is possible.

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  • wistfulmaiden

    I think its great that you bothered to get to know her and not just join in the gossip.

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  • wiccadragonfly

    I agree stand up for her and do whatever you can for her one of the codes I hold dear in wicca is honor your elders in word and deed may the lord and lady bless you for that

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  • Barracuda

    people like you make thee world a better place

    bless your heart

    as for the rest of those cockroaches..FUCK THEM

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  • lizieralizard

    its not domb to have compassion, but u cant make her feel welcomed by the others when she clearly isnt. to hell w the rest of them, just b a good compassionate person she can trust. the end.

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  • bramms

    I thinks that it's very kind of you to want to help, but unfortunately, you've come across an "emotional vampire". These people thrive off the sympathy of others. They have developed unhealthy ways of getting attention. No self respecting person would allow themselves to be obviously pitied by strangers. Any solutions or suggestions to help her will be brushed off. She knows very well that it makes you feel good, superior and kind. She's only interested in your eyes,ears, comforting words and valuable time. The ONLY person that can make a difference in YOUR life is YOU! People who waste your time, waste your life.

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    • Sorry, I don't really understand what you mean. Do you mean that shes using me?

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  • spankywanky

    Twats.

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  • Marisol

    Always treat her with respect and be nice to her. Let her know that she can open up to you whenever she feels like she needs to. Be supportive this way. In regards to the other employees, do not tell her anything about what they say. They are obviously judging her for all the wrong reasons. I feel pity for them. She probably does not care with everything that is going on in her life. Just be there for her. Having at least one person there makes all the difference for her. You are being a great person.

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