Is it normal i feel as if i just wasted part of my life?

Yeah, I know, this'll just get overlooked by all the other topics because it's really not anything origional or different, and is just another emotion filled topic by yet another teen, but I need a place to just say stuff that's been on my mind, and a unsocial dude with no close freinds doesn't have whole bunch of places to do it.

I've just shoved this thought in the back of my mind, and it just finally came to me, I feel as if I... may of wasted a good portion of my childhood, due to my own fault. I feel like if I would of just done things a little different, I wouldn't of had a depression, wouldn't of had social anxiety, would never of became the quiet apathetic person I am now. Maybe, just maybe, instead of spending years gaming, I might of spent them surrounded by freinds.

I shoved this thought in the back of my head before, I denied that I actually regret things. I thought that the episodes of emotion I had when alone were just a way my bodies way to relieve stress. I seperated my mind from emotions, whenever I felt sad I flat out denied that I actually may have been sad or possibly even lonely at rare occasions.

Then I started listening to a little song on pandora, heard the lyrics and just broke down in tears. Which where I am now, just comepletely realizing that even with my no regrets attitude, I might actually be wishing I could of changed some things in my past. That I could've just changed some things around, and would of had so many more good memories, instead of memories of stress and depression. And I'm wondering if I can even change the uncaring introvert I made myself, change him back to the fun loving kid I was in my really early years, just past the point where I can remember anything at all.

"Being grown up, isn't half as much as much fun as growing up." That's the phrase from the song that just hit me in the face like a brick. Just made me realize that I may have wasted part of my life, and wonder if my four teen years are even salvagable.

So there's my little rant, just some things I felt the need to get out to somewhere so they're not locked inside my mind. If there's anyone who actually read this and want to know the song, its called "In This Diary" by The Ataris. Alright, I'm finally done typing for now, my head hurts like hell and my eyes are extremely tired now thanks to that song.