Is it normal i fantasize about gay sex with my best friend

I'm secretly bisexual and I think I may always have been. My best friend of about 15 years rarely comes around to hang out like we used to.
Here's the thing, we've never done anything but we think alike. We've pretty much always had the "why did you copy my clothing style lol" sleeping over at each other's house all the time type of friendship. And well, when we hung out, we'd lay on each other like puppies all the time in some very questionable positions but we were alone and never really gave a damn. However it did make me think sometimes when I was alone. Fast forward several years, one night he gets drunk and tells a mutual friend that he has feelings for me and he wants to fuck me. Like-- HARD.
So the mutual friend tells me and I just say "wow" choosing not to address it then. He told me one day but made it seem like it was just the alcohol. (I think it was just that he didn't me to tell anyone. He told the blabber mouth who told me.)
So I told him its ok. It's because we're best friends and that if I ever got that way he'd probably be who I thought about too. He told me "no you're just gay you want it" we both laugh and go our separate ways. And we never talked bout it again.

Fast forward a few years, he comes over and makes a few gay jokes. We do that sometimes. But then he pushes me against the kitchen counter grabbed my leg, opened them and got in between them. My leg automatically wrapped around his waist and he grabbed my ass. I just stared him deep in the eyes. I wanted him SO bad. But then he laughed and said "hey, that was too easy." He had a girlfriend so I didn't initiate anything but since then all I think about is opening my legs for him again and putting his dick inside me. Or sucking his dick so I can finally see what it looks like hard. ( 15 years gives you a lot of accidental shower traffic ) I've done stuff with one other guy but always thinking about him. And I didn't like it when it was over. But I cuddle my best friend all the time, I wonder if I cuddle him after sex if it'll feel right.

Fast forward to now.
He's asleep right in front of me, I'm salivating while I write this. I can't stop fantasizing. He's the only guy I want to fuck. Why didn't I say anything. Before? What should I do? Is this just a phase? I'm so confused, but I know the thought of him fucking me makes me hard as a brick.
Sorry for the cursing. Advice?