Is it normal i exaggerate peoples flaws when i'm mad at them?

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When I'm mad at someone I make them out to be more terrible than they really are. I exaggerate their flaws so much in my mind that they look like a total psychopath and I believe I am justified in think that about them. I do it until I don't feel angry at them any more and then I end up feeling guilty for thinking all those nasty things about them and I realize that most of what I thought was never true. I do it with friends, coworkers, and family members that have wronged me. I know it's not nice but I don't know how to stop.

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Based on 49 votes (44 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I see that method of arguing on IIN a lot. To a ridiculous degree. Like, if someone is arguing with you about pets and you say, "I probably prefer dogs, but I love cats too", they'll say, "OMG! I knew it. You want to drown cats in a well. You hate cats".

    I'm sure you're nowhere near as bad as that, and - by writing this story - you show you have self-awareness. The trick is to realise you are going to do it before it happens, rather than notice you've done it after it has happened.

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  • emilydoll
    11 years ago

    I did this today so I'm glad u wrote this.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    Damn, I knew it sounded weird yeah you're right.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    It's actually a documented Logical Fallacy (fallacious argument) called the "Straw Man", which is when you bring a person's personal matters into an argument in an irrelevant fashion in order to prove a point that has little to do with the person arguing it.

    It's normal, and I do the same thing myself. My husband is very intelligent, almost obscenely so in the Math and Sciences department but when he does something stupid, like oh say, forget to pay his insurance, he's a blundering moron. Sometimes I don't even realize that I am doing it.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I think you're thinking of ad hominem. Straw man is where you misrepresent somebody's argument (thus building a "straw man" of the person you're debating) then debate against the version of their argument that you just made up.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I'm not sure you understood my story, perhaps I was being too ambiguous. I meant it more in a general way, not specifically about an argument, I've not felt that way during an argument. I was thinking more about a person's character, their personality, their behavior, and how it affects those they interact with. I'd say it's something more akin to a fundamental attribution error than a logical fallacy.

      Your information about the "Straw Man" is interesting though. Thank you for sharing. ;)

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  • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
    11 years ago

    It is one of the tactics in a good argument.

    Signed,
    Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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