Is it normal i enjoy hurting peoples feelings?

18% Normal

More specifically, I enjoy hurting the feelings of some men. I have never gone out and intended to hurt the feelings of women (mainly because women have never shown a romantic interest in me). But I get a kick out of hurting the feelings of some men who are romantically interested in me, and who I don't return those feelings for.
For example, I currently have some guy on my back, whom I continuously hurt (I am assuming). I met him through a dating site so he has let me know since day one he is interested in me. I talked to him out of boredom. But since we have started talking, I have been sexual with a few men casually and have had a relationship and I have let him know about all of this as it's happened. Sometimes graphically. And yet he continued to like me and was persistent in asking me out. It's clear I have chose many, many men over him yet he is still persistent in liking me. We have nothing in common, and he knows it, yet he continues to ask me out. I'm quite attractive and he knows I have been with very attractive men and he's chubby and jiggly and not very attractive, yet he thinks he has a chance with me. He has bigger breasts than I do. I treat him like absolute shit and yet he continues to put up with it and ask me out. If a man treated me just slightly like I treat him, then I would never speak to him again. He is weak and I hate weak men. I want to scream stand up for yourself at him! He should call me out for being a bitch but he's just so damn desperate for me. No matter how nasty I am, he will still continue to annoy me begging me for my time.
But I enjoy rubbing it in. I enjoy twisting the knife. I enjoy letting him know he will never have me because he isn't as interesting and good looking like some other men who are after me.
Why am I so evil? I can recognise that this is a bad thing to do. I know I am bad. I had a normal upbringing. I wouldn't ever want to physically harm someone or even push someone to suffer extreme emotions such as depression. I am not insecure. I lead a happy, fulfilled life most of the time. I don't even act that selfish/self-important around other people but him, because I know my level. I know there are tons of girls out there 1000x better looking than I am. I know where I stand. But I have treated some men in the past like this. I hate them being so desperate for me and weak. I hate it that they can't stand up for themselves. Why am I so awful? Is it the power/control?
Vote if I enjoy treating people this way as normal or not.

Voting Results

18% Normal

Based on 44 votes (8 yes)

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Comments ( 16 )

[Old Memory]

9 years ago

thats messed up

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I don't think it's normal to do this and you are leading him on, but I do not feel bad for him either because he is letting it happen.

Have you told him your not interested? Or do you tease him? You should just stop talking to him so he gets over you and moves on to someone else.

I don't think many women understand how difficult romantic and sexual situations are for some men. Women with problems can usually find a date or sex easily as long as they go out. A man who has problems is often doomed to be alone because they are held to different expectations. This guy is probably desperate due to repeated failure with women.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I have told him in a very explicit, clear manner I am not interested in him a total 8 times and counting, yet he still persists. I have told him by text, by instant messenger, by FaceTime, by phone call and directly to his face. And after all this, I have explicitly and clearly told him about all the dates I have been on, yet he still persists.
  
  Thank you for your comment and I do agree. I clearly have problems (:/) but I can always get dates/sex/attention. I don't know anything about his pasts dates/relationships but I'm guessing he in particular has never been successful with women.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    It seems best to leave him alone. You might regret your behavior if he starts getting too crazy.
    
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(.)(.)boobies

9 years ago

In your last paragraph you talked about not being insecure, having a normal upbringing, and wondering why you treat men like you do. I see a disconnect between your idea of who you believe you are and what you actually do. You pointed out that you know you're bad, but the next sentence you say you wouldn't hurt someone emotionally, which is what you have been doing. Just that small discrepancy in what you wrote might seem like a mere miscommunication but it is a revealing slip that shows you're not completely honest with yourself somehow.

I agree with you that you are not doing this to him out of insecurity. I get the impression you do it because you're not feeling any empathy for him. And, possibly, you resent him for making you feel anger and frustration that doesn't't fit with your ideal of yourself.

Part of the reason you might lack healthy empathy for him is that you've never been in a situation like his. You have never had to suffer rejection despite desperately wanting someone. You haven't been able to put yourself in his shoes and understand the experiences of his life that have destroyed his self-worth enough that he would tolerate your abuse. You hold him to your high standards, while ignoring his emotional background.

It would be best for both of you if you cut off all contact with him. If you treat people cruelly then that makes you a cruel person.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  No, I will hurt someone emotionally. This is my entire problem; that I enjoy hurting him emotionally. But I said I would never intentionally push someone into feeling extreme emotions such as depression, rage etc. I don't exactly know what emotion I intend him to feel, but I definitely wouldn't want someone questioning their existence all because of me.
  
  I think your second paragraph is absolutely correct, so thank you very much for your input. I struggle to feel empathy unless it's for a family member/a friend/an animal/a child. I certainly don't feel empathy for him, but I know I should. He does cause me a lot of frustration and annoyance. He's like a buzzing fly continually bumping into my face.
  
  I have been rejected a few times. I've had my heart ripped out on two occasions. Thought about taking my own life due to it quite a few times. But since the second time it happened, I feel as if I have become bitter and an emotionless pit. I think I may just had an epiphany. Except I don't know how to fix it. I don't know if I will ever be able to become and emotional/interest in romance again.
  
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

It's cowardly to enjoy torturing a desperate guy who doesn't respect himself. Just grow the hell up and tell him you're not interested and stop playing with his emotions. Just cause you're bored is no excuse to talk to someone you're not interested in and lead them on like your doing.

Tell him you're not attracted to or romantically interested in him and you never will be then ask him to leave you alone. Now be a big girl and leave him alone even if you're bored.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I have told him a total 8 times and counting, in a clear, polite manner I am not interested and never will be, and yet he still persists. He constantly calls me even when I reject his calls, texts me when I don't answer them, FaceTimes me and I reject them, turns up at my place of work and acts desperate for me.
  
  But yeah, I should leave him alone.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    Right on! Well, I would say to continue to reject him and not engage him in any way. Block him on the phone and online if you can. It's possible he might be a stalker at this point.
    
    Thanks for your response. Now after reading your response to my comment I can definitely better appreciate your point of view and relate, but please be careful. He sounds more like creepy pervert in retrospect than a desperate lonely type.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      That's true. Sometimes when I'm bored, I will engage with him and act like a bitch because I find it fun, which is probably why he still persists. A male friend once told me to a male, a response is a response and it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative, they still take it as some form of interest.
      I recognise I'm being an awful bitch. I do have to put a full stop to this and find a hobby to fill up my boredom time. Thing is, I'm a great believer in karma and I know that the way I have treated him is going to come right back around and bite me in the ass 10 times harder.
      
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pixie_dust

9 years ago

Do you realize that you are perpetuating your own bad karma and thus sabotaging your own happiness? When you eventually and inevitably receive the same pain you've been dishing out as sport, you will realize that the amusement you've had was not worth the pain you get in the end.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I do realise, yes. I even think I received part of my bad karma yesterday. I truly am jeapordising my own happiness. But I still can't stop.
  
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  - pixie_dust
    
    9 years ago
    
    This could help you.. Ok, do you know how you can tell yourself before you go to sleep to wake up at 8am, etc and you will? You can use this same technique. You just tell yourself before you go to sleep that you want to spread love and stop giving pain to others. You want love and happiness. You have to mean it though.
    
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braintrip

9 years ago

Jesus fucking christ just tell him you don't want to talk to him anymore or that your not interested in him, stop playing mind games.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I have done, on 8 occasions. I have told him by text, by phone call, by instant messenger, by FaceTime, to his actual face, yet he doesn't understand.
  
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dom180

9 years ago

That's awful. Have some compassion. If you know it's wrong, then for God's sake follow through and stop doing it. If you don't, *you* are weak for being unable to follow through on your thoughts.

Maybe these men enjoy the humiliation. It isn't that uncommon.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal i enjoy hurting peoples feelings?