Is it normal i don't understand why people get married?

It's an excuse for not having the sex anymore.

Insecurity.

Because it's symbolic.

Because of social pressure, especially from family members.

Because of tax breaks and other incentives.

Because it's traditional.

Because society teaches us from a young age that the perfect life is having two kids, two cars, a dog and yes, being married.

Because people have an obsession with making things "official", and getting married is pretty much the ultimate state of officialness (unbelievably, "officialness" really is a real word).

Obviously there are always going to be people who don't want to do it because those things aren't reasons which apply to them or reasons they care about. But they do matter to some people and they matter to me.

You scratch my back, Ill scratch yours

the most primitive of all needs.

If you're religious, it means everything.

I wouldn't say it's a normal belief, because many people are deeply invested in the idea of marriage, but your perspective is becoming more common. I agree with much of what you say. Speaking as a recently married person, having the legal ceremony did not change the emotional significance of our relationship at all. We were already committed to each other long before we signed the piece of paper with the fancy seal. What did change is that now we can visit each other in the hospital and make decisions for each other should the need arise. Unless and until those legal benefits are granted to unwed couples, there will always be a practical argument for marriage.

yeah it shouldn't matter

I can honestly say that there have been many times where the simple fact that I was married to my husband was all that kept us together.

We have had some rough times in the first year of our marriage. We both had trouble adjusting and there were some fights in which I seriously contemplated divorce.

It may sound cheesy, but I remembered the vows I took, specifically the part that said "For better or for worse"... and it helped me pull through and get up the courage, many times, to decide that I was going to put in the effort to work it out because I know that whatever we were going through wasn't the worst we could be going through and that we are married and a fight over bills is not excuse to break a vow like "for better or for worse".

Maybe I am a terrible person. Maybe the relationship wasn't perfect, gumdrops and roses and romantic scenery like it should have been. Maybe I wasn't perfect and totally committed like a lot of people claim to be. Maybe I didn't go in with realistic expectations and you could say that maybe our relationship wasn't as great and loving as the "ideal" relationship is, otherwise I wouldn't have thought about walking away but the fact is that relationships take a lot of work and it's easier to walk away when all you share together is an apartment and some memories. We shared a legal commitment that we signed and pledged to. Sometimes that's just what one needs to truly understand how important sticking around really is.

Then again, marriage is only as seriously as you're willing to take it. Marriage changes things in an inexplicable way.

Well, I'm kind of with you on this, but a little bit I'm not, I guess. I personally think it's about whose getting married and whether or not they are truly willing to make a commitment, otherwise, I have a hard time taking the marriage seriously and it would be no different than being in a regular relationship. For instance, my sister got married to a guy she never really got a long with. They weren't even married for a year before they got a divorce. I never took this marriage seriously. Never considered his family my family...none of that stuff. To me, they were still in a regular ole' boyfriend/girlfriend relationship no different from when they were in high school. My parents have been married for 30 something years. They still are. I take that marriage seriously. I think they marriage thing boils down to why someone is getting married and whether or not they are really serious about this thing and ready for commitment. To me, marriage can mean different things as people get married for lots of different reasons: sometimes it's for financial reasons, sometimes it's because of religions, sometimes it's for immigration purposes, and sometimes people really are in love and do want to spend there rest of their lives with someone they know they will always care about. Marriage is kind of a confusing thing, and I understand that it is not for everyone. I'm not married now, but I wouldn't go right on and say that I'll never get married. Who knows. It might happen :)

I recently got married, actually. There are a couple of reasons. One is that was a way to declare to our friends and family that we're together for good. It means that his family is my family now, and vice versa. It also means that the old lady who lives next door might stop saying "bless your heart" and asking when we're getting married every time she sees us.

I'm in the US. The legal portion of it means that I can get health insurance through my husband's work now, and that if one of us is in the hospital, the other will be allowed to visit. There are tax benefits, also.

It doesn't interest me, personally. I look at it and all I see is a piece of paper and fucking ridiculously expensive ceremony and party that I don't want any part of.

But I've just been going through photos of three friends weddings (two weddings, two of them married each other) and another friend had her first anniversary on Sunday. They're so happy. That makes me happy for them. Even if I don't understand all the fuss, it's important to them. So yay.

Tradition and symbolism are important to some people.

Because the marriage of two people extends beyond those two individuals. It merges two families together. It is a legal bond that is easily recognizable and understood.

Because your married

Marriage is important. It is good to know that somebody has committed to love, respect and remain faithful to you till death. For me it really is.