Is it normal i don't understand why being gay is an issue?

81% Normal

I just don't understand why someone's sexuality is an issue! I don't get why being gay is any more or less important than being straight. To me, it just "is", it's not good, bad, weird or anything, it's just a quality of a person no more than their hair color or shoe size.

I feel bad for gay people that they have to "come out" and worry about the reaction. Ideally, people could openly discuss their attractions with family and friends at an early age and not have to hide being gay.

I hate that if a person is gay, so many people place that one aspect of that person so highly above every other quality that person has. As a straight person, I never feel defined by my sexuality but I can imagine most gay people probably do because of how people make such a big deal over it. I can't count how many times I've heard a name mentioned and the first thing anyone says is "oh he's gay", not "he's a great writer, a volunteer, tall, a biker..." etc. Yep, he's a lot of things but he's mostly known for being gay....ugh.

It makes me so angry when parents shun their gay children. Why do parents get so upset if their child is gay? Does anyone know?

It really bothers me when people deny that someone is gay by saying such things as "it's just a phase" or "he just needs to find Jesus", you know, things like that. As if gay isn't a real thing. I feel so bad for whoever they're saying this to!

I wish being gay was treated exactly the same way as being straight, it should be a complete non-issue.

is it normal to find it ridiculous that being gay is such a big deal?

Voting Results

81% Normal

Based on 331 votes (267 yes)

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Comments ( 45 )

starie

11 years ago | pl

It's normal for someone who isn't homophobic to dislike people who are and also dislike the fact that homophobia even exists.

You might have that point of view but many others aren't capable of seeing things your way. People can be very narrow-minded and that's their loss imo.

Be grateful you have your kind of mindset because there are many morons in this world who don't...

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- AnotherNormalGuy
  
  10 years ago
  
  What about heterophobia? It works both ways you know.
  
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  - starie
    
    10 years ago
    
    Yeah, sure, if you want to be really specific about it..
    
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A-Hor

11 years ago | pl

I'm a human sexuality educator. I am also gay, myself.

A lot of people think homophobia means you have a fear of gay people. But that's only one part of it. Homophobia means you fear that you are gay yourself, or could "turn" gay. This is built on false beliefs about sexuality; thinking that our sexualities are a conscious choice. But sexuality is so much more complicated than that.

We have our biology, our genetics, our experiences, our conscious thoughts, our unconscious thoughts, our education, our beliefs and values, our free-will and choices, and our own sense of identity. And from all of these, there are even further break-downs:

Behavior vs Attraction. Comfort vs Arousal. The five types of attractions: (RARES) Relational, Affectional, Romantic, Emotional, and Sexual. We live in a society that assumes the word "attraction" means something sexual. Not at all. We have attractions every single day to people of all genders. If you are male, and have a best friend that is also male, and you hope that you stay best friends until the day you die, then you have a relational attraction towards them. That doesn't automatically mean you are sexually aroused by men. Not only that, but behavior and attractions don't automatically match either. What if while I'm having sex with a woman, I am thinking of a man? What sexual orientation am I then? ...I am whatever I am most comfortable calling myself. Because the labels of sexuality are just for my OWN identity.

All of these labels of sexual orientation- straight, gay, etc- they are just labels. The truth is, these labels are only GUIDELINES for who we are MOST LIKELY to be attracted to. There's over 7 billion people on earth, and we only meet a few thousand people in a lifetime. So is it fair to say that only by meeting just a small iota of the world, that there isn't a single female- not ONE- in the entire world, that I could be attracted to? Of course not... the same goes for someone who labels themselves as straight. Do you know 7 billion people? So then how do you REALLY know that there isn't one person of the same sex or gender you could have sexual attractions towards?

Sexuality is a lifetime process and a person-by-person experience. Not to mention, there are so many parts of sexuality that have uniqueness for each of us. My definition of "gay" will never match another person's definition. Ever. Because I am a unique person, with a unique identity.

If more people were educated about sexuality, and realized that we all have attractions towards every gender, sex, and expression, then more people would realize that calling myself gay doesn't make me any different from anyone else in this world. I also bleed blood. I also have a heart. I also have a brain and a mind within it. I am a human being.

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- AnotherNormalGuy
  
  10 years ago
  
  Please Jesus, I pray that this person doesn't ACTUALLY TEACH this brainwashing nonsense in a school! Please Jesus tell me it isn't so! Jesus, if teachers are this crazy in the future, then remind me to home school my future kids, so they wont grow up around all these crazy people with bad morals or even a degree.
  
  -"AMEN"
  
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  - A-Hor
    
    10 years ago
    
    Please father, I pray that people everywhere open their eyes to the damage being done to children by their parents when they do not accept the creations you have made. The bullying children face; the suicides of children, teenagers, and young adults happening every year; all caused by the shame and self-hatred that their parents and other children (who learned from *their* parents, or their parent's silence) put onto them. Please help all parents realize the amount of stress, anger, and sadness put onto their children when they shame their children because of *their parent's* own insecurity and ignorance with a subject that makes *them* "uncomfortable".
    
    Please father, help people understand that I have saved dozens of *your* children in my line of work. Sometimes by sitting down with one-on-one counseling, sometimes when I teach inside a classroom, or when I receive a phone calls- sometimes at three/four in the morning- from someone with a knife to their wrist, or a gun to their head, but let your spirit run through me to show them that life is worth living. Let people see that I don't teach in the spirit of evil, but in the spirit of love. Let people see that you taught us to love thy neighbor, as thyself. Meaning, that when someone loves another person, it is because they love *themselves*. And when they hate someone else, it is because they hate *themselves*.
    
    Please father, let people hear and listen to the stories of the thousands of children, teens, and young adults I have come across over the years, people being ignored because of judgement on your creations; trying to make their people into something they aren't and do not control. I know that you make no mistakes.
    
    Please father, bless these people that judge us so that they may find kindness in their hearts, and choose love over judgement and ignorance. And if they reject said blessings, then I pray that you send their children my way to help relieve them of any fear, anger, or any sense that they are unworthy of life. You preach love, kindness, and forgiveness, and that is all I wish to show parents and children. I use my knowledge and my words in your name to help *save* your children, not to brainwash them. And I pray that for any child that grows up in a home where they have no acceptance, that you carry them, the same way you carried me when my parents told me that I was a sinner, an abomination, and that I was choosing to walk away from you. I admit father, that I did walk away from you... because like many parents, my parents preached hatred and shame into my heart. But I now know that this was because my parents did not live in a time when these issues were discussed. Forgive them for they not know what they preach. After finding acceptance and love, I have come back to you, and have only grown closer to you from teaching. I have also tried to preach to many people that were like me, told that they have no place on your earth, that they were brainwashed with hate. And I have tried to show them the joy I feel in my life after finding you. I have tried to guide those in my community back to you after they were told they weren't people of god because they were gay. And I pray you continue to give me strength as I know more people will try to fight me in my destiny to help others come to terms with their identity, that you created... which is nothing for anyone to hate or shame.
    
    In the name of Yeshua Ha'Mashiach,
    -"Amen"
    
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Jeaneathean

11 years ago

If you spend more than 1% of your life having sex, you are fortunate. It's not that important: sexuality does not define you.

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Sooty

10 years ago

Amen.

I just want to feel confident with telling my family I'm bi. But I will be shunned and looked down apon and I know that. So I'm straight to them as of now.

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amaterasu

11 years ago

I have many friends with disabilities and I notice that gays receive a similar treatment. Whenever someone talks about my friends, they say "the blind chick" or "the deaf guy", as if it was the quality that defines them.

I do feel sorry whenever someone talks to me about other person and the first thing that they say is "that gay guy". I used to have a friend that was quite sucessful in life, people always talked about how good he was as a student, how he worked so hard, how nice he was with his family... but as soon as he came out of the closet, people now only refer to him as "the gay guy". So sad...

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bananaface

11 years ago

I agree. As to why, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons. I've seen several people here call it "unnatural", which makes very little sense to me. They're a minority group and they're different. People don't really understand it. In some cases it could be religious beliefs. There are people who don't want their children to be gay because it would mean they wouldn't get grandchildren. And I know it sounds a bit silly, but I think some people just find the idea of two men having sex gross. Maybe sometimes people are confused about their own sexuality and are scared that they might be gay.

I'm not really sure, because I've never thought it was a big deal either. ^Those^ are just some of the most obvious reasons, but I'm sure there are plenty of other ones.

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- AnotherNormalGuy
  
  10 years ago
  
  With all due respect most people dont think like you. Odds are that the percentage of Obamas approval rating is the actual approval rating of being homosexual which is FAR from the 87% that this article got. Supposed studies show that about 10% of Americans are actually homosexual which is a hell of a lot to me, so how are heterosexuals the minority?
  
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dinz

11 years ago

I don't mind people if they have a problem with homosexuality.

Well if they don't like homosexuals well don't be one but it doesn't give you the right to dicate the sexuality of others.

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- robbieforgotpw
  
  11 years ago
  
  But that type of union is not equal with a natural traditional "marriage" between one man and one woman.
  
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  - BLAh81
    
    10 years ago
    
    1. How so "not equal?"
    
    2. Even IF is was an "unequal" Union, so what?
    
    3. The word "natural" may have a positive connotation, but that's bull. Lots of natural things are awful (earthquakes, diseases, hurricanes, etc).
    
    Likwise, unnatural things can be good (contraception, glasses, polyester, etc).
    
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GoraIntoDesiGals

11 years ago

People are hypocrites. I'm a pee fetishist and I'm sure it's an issue for a lot of uptight Christians too.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  That's just weird, who cares if someone likes pee? Has this ever been an issue for you?
  
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  - AnotherNormalGuy
    
    10 years ago
    
    The point is that if one crazy thing becomes morally ok, then everything thats insane becomes ok also.
    
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moomus

11 years ago

I don't get it either. To me someone's sexuality is no ones business but there own.

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BlueJeansWhiteShirt

11 years ago

I don't understand either.
If you love someone, then you love someone. And no one should receive any sort of negative attention for feeling love.

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GreyWulfen

11 years ago

It isn't an issue for normal people.

Homophobia is an irrational fear of homosexual people, many homophobes have suppressed homosexual feelings or are afraid of becoming gay (which is not possible, though).

Another possible reason are religious beliefs. Some people are raised with the belief "being gay is bad." They just adapt this belief without questioning it or thinking about it, because that's what they have been taught.

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q1w2e3

11 years ago

Would you have issue if humans started marrying animals?

Well, that might just happen in the future. It might seem crazy to you now, but in the future someone might post on IIN asking "why this is a problem - humans marrying animals?". Get it?

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- q25t
  
  11 years ago
  
  You're making a slippery slope argument. The general requirements for marriage are consent and being of a legal age. Other than that, I see no need to restrict people from making a bond with whomever they love.
  
  If it was actually possible to confirm consent from an animal, I can't think of a logical reason to prevent marriage. Since consent is largely impossible, marriage to animals is as well. It's the same for marrying those that are underage. We may be able to get verbal consent, but the understanding is not present that is required.
  
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- SpaceWhaleSpacePetunias
  
  10 years ago
  
  Nananananananana nananananananana
  informed consent!
  
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- AnotherNormalGuy
  
  10 years ago
  
  LOL! X_^D "IIN I dont understand why humans marrying animals is an issue?" HAHAHA!
  
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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Being gay does go against the way God created one man for one woman.

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- crimsonprodigy
  
  11 years ago
  
  That's why religion is BS.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    I think they're both bullshit actually, both do nothing to further the existence of the human race.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      All 3 of them are bullshit.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        11 years ago
        
        The third being?
        
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- christophero1973
  
  10 years ago
  
  God is a figment of the imagination...a coping mechanism for the lack of a reasoning mechanism...a tool for kings from 2000yrs-ago to control their unruly slaves...and to ensure the pro-creation of more slaves...
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    10 years ago
    
    *rolls eyes
    
    Yes, I know, we all know.
    
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Lunamoon

11 years ago

The way you feel is very normal it simply means that you are an intelligent person.

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sisterlover

10 years ago

cause they all nasty n shit. like what the fuck u doin, son. get off me, fool. Some gay tried to sit next to me on the bus. i fliped out n shit. The driver was laughing and he threw the gay guy off the bus. All the passengers were cheerin n shit. yo dawg thats just whack

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- poison_gummybears
  
  10 years ago
  
  please, if you're going to insult someone's sexuality, use proper grammer,dipshit.
  
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  - AnotherNormalGuy
    
    10 years ago
    
    Pursonally I rathur hav baad grammer & goood moruls than goood grammer & baad moruls, LOL!
    
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- robbieforgotpw
  
  10 years ago
  
  He came on to you? No still means no right?
  
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bigrob90

10 years ago

People have hate for gays because we are animals after all, and being gay limits the species ability to procreate. It is something that is in our nature to shun. Things such as incest as well, although incest is alot worse because it usually involves harming another individual. Being gay is a mental problem, but i dont see any way to convince people of that, so we might as well let them fuck arse holes and scissor and just shut the fuck up about it. As long as you harm no one, i could give a shit. Im just sick of seeing all this gay rights bull shit constantly. Just give them what they want so they can shut the fuck up

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Janie2T

10 years ago

Sure beats me! Some people sure just want to hate you if you are different. Like if you are a Hare Krishna or a Moonie, for instance. A lot of people will hate you for that.

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devil-in-skirt

10 years ago

me too.. i don't think that being gay is problem and i don't think they have to worry abt it .. or even u don't have to identify ur sexuality u don't have to say i am gay or even i am straight just i like girls or guys or both it is just something or someone u like,, not all of us like pink floyd! and it means nothing if u don't like them even if most of people like them ! sometimes it is just hard to know if u r gay or not this is not a problem if u don't like meats that doesn't mean u have to think abt it and try all kinds of meats just to know if u r vegetarian y every thing have to have a name u just don't like it and u like other foods where is the problem !

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AnotherNormalGuy

10 years ago

Yeah, well I can say the same thing about your question.

"I just don't understand why someone's sexuality isn't an issue! I don't get why people dont get why being crucked is any more or less important than being straight. To me, being straight just "is", having babies is not bad, weird or anything. Getting married and having kids is just as normal as their hair color or shoe size."

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ChloSheldon

10 years ago

I love gay people there so cute! :)

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americanhoney

11 years ago

That's racist.

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- robbieforgotpw
  
  11 years ago
  
  Everything is racist to a race baiter. If anyone were to look at your comments they'd see you are race baiting.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  VERY racist. Thanks for noticing.
  
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Eveyana

11 years ago

Religion aside, a lot of the prejudice towards gays, in my opinion, comes from those who fear that one day, homosexuality will become the norm and that they might eventually fall in love with a gay person who doesn't love them back, or that "all of the good" prospects will be gay. In other words, they fear that all of the good ones will be gay and that they won't stand a chance with them because of their different orientations (I'm not talking about bisexuals).

The same rings true for prejudice against straights (yes, it goes both ways). It's usually gay folk who feel that the majority of the world are straight, therefore, straight people have privilege and a better chance of securing a mate because they fear that the majority are straight and that they will eventually fall in love with a lot of straight and unavailable people. That's what it boils down to, in my humble opinion, the fear of unrequited love.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal i don't understand why being gay is an issue?