Is it normal i don't punish my kids?

I think that's the ideal way of dealing with kids.

I'd like to point out that discipline is not the same as punishment, though. Punishment is a form of 'negative' discipline.

You're right when you say that punishment is often a knee jerk reaction, but not always.

I use a mix of disciplinary techniques. For example, at work last night, the three year old smashed me in the face with a piece of train track. He's not a violent kid, he just thought it would be funny (it wasn't...hah). So I told him that it hurt, it wasn't behaviour I expected, and I wanted him to stop. He did it again, and I warned him that the consequences of his actions, should he do it again, would be that the train set would be packed away until tomorrow. He did it again, the train set went away.

'Consequences' are used as discipline in two ways - logical (basically letting the direct result of the behaviour going unchecked to serve as punishment - ie if you keep doing that, you will get hurt and it will be unpleasant) and I forget the proper terminology for the other type (ie my above example with the trains).

I don't agree with physical punishment, though I will physically remove a child (gently) from a situation if needs be, to protect them or another child/person/animal/myself from them being harmed by the child's behaviour, or if the child needs to be removed from stimulus in order to calm down enough that they can discuss the situation (where age appropriate).

I hope that made sense, I just woke up.

When I read the title of this entry, I thought "This is what's wrong with the world."
Then I read further. I can certainly understand your reasoning. If there's no need to punish your kids, then please, don't!

Good for you if it works. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

I hope your kids grow up to rape you.

Good for you that you have such well behaving kids. But some kids are very naughty by nature and I think there is nothing wrong with some disciplining, as long as it's done for the sale of correction and not out of anger or revenge.

You need to write a parenting book.

I know exactly where you're coming from with punishments.

Punishments should be dealt out with care. A child who makes a small, simple error or mistake and doesn't get it explained to them how and why they were in error ("because I said so!"), but does get grounded and forced to sit and twiddle their thumbs in the kitchen for a month is probably going to feel frustrated and resentful. They'll probably come to see their parents as the enemy or end up with a low sense of self-esteem and confidence, never sure if their next action is going to incite another punishment.

Not only that but some of these punishments (using the grounded in the kitchen for a month example again) harm the child's mental development and possibly their physical health too. If a child is grounded all the time and has nothing to stimulate them and is made to sit all day that's really unhealthy, don't even need to explain why because everybody knows.

I do think kids need to learn the hard way sometimes, but some punishments are illogical and don't teach the child anything.

Learning to get away with things is an essential life skill. You're depriving your kids of the opportunity to learn this skill.

I think this is a good thing. My parents were all about punishing and often times I was punished unfairly. They refused to hear me out. Sometimes, when I did try to explain my side of things I would have a hard time properly explaining then, they would take it the wrong way and call me a liar. Often times, when I was being punished I never understood why. I would ask for explanations and would never get them.

I don't agree with that type of parenting. It didn't leave me having a strong bond towards my family, instead it made me hate them. If I had a kid, which I never plan to do, I would use your approach. I would calmly talk it out with them. I wouldn't scream or call them things.

I'm just wondering, how did you get this to work when the kids were very young and didn't understand reasons for anything? Like when they were 2 and you told them that they couldn't have a cookie and they got in trouble for taking one anyways.

I have a niece that's 18 months.