Is it normal i don't like people sexually?

61% Normal
32 Comments

I'm a 19, virgin female. I never cared about being an "old virgin" really, I wasn't interested in sex when all my classmates were.
A few months ago I thought of a possible answer to it: I'm a repressed lesbian, even when I find some men attractive too (duuh)...Anyway, I started seeing lesbian women, and other women in general, but I still didn't feel sure about anything. I find them pretty, of course (women are so pretty), but I've had the chance of making out with a few and I've escaped. The same that happens to me with men...

Is it normal I don't like people sexually? I am repressed or do I have a trauma? WHAAT

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 109 votes (66 yes)
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Comments ( 32 )
  • MysticLane
    10 years ago | pl

    It sounds like you're asexual.

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  • Foamy'sACoolSquirrel
    10 years ago

    It sounds like you're asexual. That's okay. I'm asexual too.

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  • KBSH
    10 years ago

    Are you scared? You call yourself a "repressed lesbian", can you please expand on that?

    Do you repress your sexuality due to fear of not being accepted by your peers and/or family or fear of maybe inadequacy? If you do, then I get you completely. I have liked one single person for most of my life, yet any sexual thought of that person doesn't make me feel any good because of the aforementioned fears. I think until I tackle my fears, I won't ever be sexual.

    P.S., I am exceptionally good at acting hypersexual in front of my peers. I can make appearances seem exceptionally real.

    Another possible explanation: you may be a "late bloomer".

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    • l.l.l
      10 years ago

      I try to do things, I try to be a little bit more flirty with the people I like, but I can't. And I'm not a shy person in general, just in that context. Perhaps it's because I'm not trying for myself, but for them. It's something I can do to make them feel better or confortable.
      I guess fear is part of it, of course. I don't know if I would call myself asexual. I don't know how sex it's like, and it's not my priority really.
      The fact is that I don't like people sexually, at least for now, and it's unconfortable because most of people does, at first instance.

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  • Gaz689
    10 years ago

    You're probably asexual like me :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    If I had a dime for every time someone said or implied they were asexual. Asexuality is extremely rare, and the majority that claim to be aren't asexual at all.

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    • Crusades
      10 years ago

      Asexuality is extremely rare? Not on this site apparently.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        That's exactly my point.It's rare, yet probably the majority of the people on this site claim to be asexual.

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    • Anime7
      10 years ago

      I get where you're coming from man, I do. But like what else would you call yourself then? I mean chances are that people who claim to be asexual really aren't that, but what else would they then identify themselves as? See what I mean, even if you're not that, it's still something to label yourself as. In some ways you can sympathize with those people so hell even more of a reason to gravitates towards asexuality. What else are you going to label yourself as?

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      • Tommythecat.
        10 years ago

        I think the fact that many of them seem to be virgins has more to do with it than anything else. It's easy not to be interested in something if you have no idea what it even feels like.

        They rush ahead and think they don't want sex but they don't know sex to begin with type of thing.

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        • Anime7
          10 years ago

          I agree with you on that. Being a virgin would probably make you want sex less since you don't really know what it is or what it entails. Although at the expense of sounding like a douchebag I will like to add that I think this mainly applies to females.

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          • Tommythecat.
            10 years ago

            You douchebag how dare you say things that are probably true maybe. But yeah I reckon so too.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        I recently was thinking about this and have a clearer answer. I've wondered about it because I'm not quite asexual but am not like other heterosexual males either.
        I'm closest to what's called demisexual. There is also what's called greysexual which is basically someone with a low sex drive, which might describe the op.

        I have a normal sex drive, but do not have much sexual interest in anyone until I get to know them well. I have no understanding of different types of relationships and see everyone in the same ways. I either like them, or I don't. Sexually I am only interested in women but I think our society seems to frown upon physical contact unless you are in a relationship with someone, which is frusterating for me. I have had girlfriends but still don't understand how romance works and have no need for romantic relationships although I like having an assortment of female friends. I do have a desire for physical contact, but it's more of a physical need to release hormones for me. Things like hugging, cuddling and massages are completely non-sexual to me but I like them for comfort reasons. I think it's too bad our society puts a sexual stigma on most physical contact.

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        • Anime7
          10 years ago

          I could actually believe that, I mean really that actually seems like what the OP describes and I think what a lot of people who claim to be asexual probably describe.

          As for the whole wanting physical contact but not in a sexual way I find interesting. Cause like in some ways I can understand what you mean, like you want someone to hold you, it doesn't have to be sexual. I've felt that way sometimes, but I've never actually had a friend comfort me in that way. From the sound of it, it seems like you perhaps are demisexual. Although I personally don't know the different types of sexualities that exist nor do I really know what it means to be like any of those said sexualities. But based on googling what demisexuals are and how you act it seems like a proper term to describe your sexual identity. I wish that society didn't put a sexual stigma on physical contact either. Because honestly what you describe, like the whole enjoying things like hugs for comfort reasons is something that I've felt a need for a times. I mean I love it when I get a hug from a friend, there's something about that physical contact that feels, I don't know like home? Honestly we all need a hug every now and then.

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            I wish more people didn't stigmatize physical contact as all being sexual. To me it seems society has brainwashed us to think that it usually is. I do enjoy sex as well but it's more of a primitive desire for me than anything. I'm also quite picky and it's usually not worth the effort to me. I know I do not have standard feelings on how sex and relationships work. The only part that makes it difficult for me is that I am in a society that conforms differently.

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            • [Old Memory]
              10 years ago

              I've also noticed people think of massages as sexually. I don't get why pleasureful physical contact is usually though of as sexual. Honestly men give better massages and I'm not even gay. It's just how it usually is.
              I hate that if I want a massage females think of it as a sexual advance, straight men think it's gay, and gay men get the wrong impression.
              I just want someone to rub the fucking knots out of my back so I can relax better without paying $50 at the mall.

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            • Anime7
              10 years ago

              Honestly society has weird notions of sex. I mean just in general look at how bodies are seen. I mean if you love your body that's great, but you can't show it off otherwise you're seen as shameful for doing so. But really what's the harm in loving your body and wanting to show it off in public, like wearing tight fitting cloth to accentuate your curves. I like the way you look at relationships, it seems like you're more honest about what you desires than most people I know.

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      • katelyn92
        10 years ago

        I like the way you think about things.

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        • Anime7
          10 years ago

          Thanks, it's just that I know where ItDuz is coming from but at the same time I also know where the OP is coming from. I try to look at things from both sides of the coin, as opposed to just seeing heads.

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          • katelyn92
            10 years ago

            That's exactly the way I see things. Sticking to a rigid opinion that you haven't explored but merely accepted is perfectly valid but means only understanding one side. Trying to understand the other (or many other) side(s) might lead to the same overall opinion but there's a whole ocean of different views that have swung the tide in that direction. They've been considered. And that is a good thing. :)

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            • Anime7
              10 years ago

              I like the analogy about the ocean cause you're right, there are plenty of opinion drops that all fall into the same sea, but without acknowledging how someone sees something then you're not going to learn anything. Nobody ever learns anything from someone who fully agrees with you.

              Let me just say now, since I scanned over your name and it shows you to be new that I hope you enjoy you're time on here. And learn that we're not all weirdos. Also I hope you see this as a safe community to express your opinions. Welcome to shey'normal, enjoy your stay :D

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    • MonchichiLuvsu
      10 years ago

      I see where you're coming from, but it doesn't hurt anyone for them to say they're asexual (whether they are or aren't). Let everyone figure out their sexual orientation at their own rate.

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    • dickwashington
      10 years ago

      whats asexual like plants and lizards?

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    • KeddersPrincess
      10 years ago

      But you gotta understand that a majority of people who are asexual would probably come to a website like this looking for answers. On the side of that, most people who are asexual never realize that they're asexual or don't find out until much later on in life because it's so unheard of so it would be really hard to get an accurate percentage.

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  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    I went through periods of asexuality and a lot had to do because I was never around people I was really attracted too..I even remeber a time when I thought I was completely sexually dead and then I turned some corner and this lady started talking to me and I started getting hard and I realized that you can even be around beautiful attractive people but just no one turns you on

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You're Asexual. Just go with it.

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  • SplinterWingz
    10 years ago

    For a few minutes i thought i'd stumbled on a post i didbt remember writing, we're even the same age..
    Dont try to force yourself to be into others sexualy, sure it might feel odd being the only one of your friends who dont care about sex but not everyone has to have kids or even have to like that kinda thing. I persinally hate being vunrable and exposed to others, so for me theres that holding me back but i'm glad i'm this way, it prevents me from becoming another washed up underage mother or just another 19 year old.
    Though that doesnt mean i havent lusted after people or had moments where I wouldnt have minded doing it.
    But overall i have no intrest in it.

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  • Shrunk
    10 years ago

    Same but I'm 22 and that sort of thing has just recently become interesting to me... what i think happened is that my anxiety was overcome by desperation and fear of being alone forever.. i guess i just always thought i'd still have plenty of time, but now feels like my time is running out

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