Is it normal i don`t have a straight man as a friend?

71% Normal
13 Comments

I have been openly gay since I was 21 years old, and all my life I have struggle to trully bond with a straight man as friends. I do not want to have sex with them but I find it very difficult to make friends with them, whenever I talk to one and try to establish a converstation I get this intimidating feeling and I can`t seem to find a common ground where we can start a friendship on. Why does this happen?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 51 votes (36 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 13 )
  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Forget the fact that the person is straight. Just talk to him casually, ask him how his life is and so on. I'm sure that eventually he'll see you as a good friend.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • dude_Jones
    11 years ago

    Sounds like you may be a heterophobe. Probably your gay friends would have the best suggestions.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I'm not sure. I'm a straight man and have generally got along very well with gay men. I feel more myself around gay men because I have to put on an act around straight men (it's not the done thing to admit vulnerability around straight men - we all have to say how amazing we are at all times and that grinds with me). Around gay men I definitely feel I act closer to my true personality. Maybe you're finding the same disparity.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • jlsingleboy
      11 years ago

      That actually sounds more like it to me, I feel that I cannot relate to them since most times they love to talk about girls and how big they like their boobs and I cant just respond with something like oh yeah I love a guy with a big dick! lol. I know it is not all there is to talk about but they always seem to want to talk about how great they are and I just feel that is such a stupid attitude.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Energy
    11 years ago

    Maybe you're afraid of homophobes?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Hippie
      11 years ago

      "I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared; You're an asshole." - Morgan Freeman.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • dappled
        11 years ago

        Not that I'd ever want to disagree with someone as intellectual as a Hollywood actor, but I think it often is a fear. Not a fear of gay people themselves but a fear of becoming gay.

        Although I'm sure Mr. Freeman's soundbite pondering will gain more support simply for the way it sounds. If something sounds right, it means we don't have to think about it any more.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        2
        2
          -
        • Hippie
          11 years ago

          Fair enough sir

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
      • Energy
        11 years ago

        Well, that's what society calls it.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Hippie
          11 years ago

          Indeed.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • SuperBenzid
    11 years ago

    I can relate that this can be a difficulty. I am a gay man with a fairly large circle of friends but my circle of friends favors women and gay men. I think the important part is to find a common ground, perhaps there is music, sport or travel destinations that you are both interested in.

    Though it sounds like the problem could be internalized homophobia. Just because you mention the intimidating feeling. Are you second guessing yourself? As in many situations confidence is key.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • disthing
    11 years ago

    Ha well I'm a straight man and have very few man friends, gay or straight. My 2 closest friends right now are both ex-girlfriends, which isn't a great situation. Maybe we can both go out and hunt down some straight men to befriend?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • jlsingleboy
      11 years ago

      Sure, anytime, just let me know.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0