Is it normal i don't feel comfortable with my natural body in public?

70% Normal
4 Comments

I fucking hate make-up. I hate clothes. I hate everything that takes away from what I truly am.

I used to be disgusting. Well, on the surface I was fucking beautiful, I had a SLIGHT year-round tan and was very fit. The acknowledgement of my good looks gave me all the confidence I needed to go out there and be myself. I felt perfect so it was easy to be the life of the party.

However, I had an epiphany in which I realized how disgusting society is, and that changing my body from it's pure state is repulsive and unnatural. I decided that I didn't need make-up or to restrict my diet so religiously or to straighten my curls and bleach my teeth so obsessively or even wear a bra. I left out all the manicured rituals of society and my body slowly made it's way back to it's very natural self.

Physically, I have never felt more comfortable. However, going from exposing a virtually flawless being to now living in my precisely authentic body has been an extremely difficult transition for me socially. I can not bring myself to feel comfortable around my old friends, though I know they wouldn't think any different of me, and I wouldn't dare make new friends. The reason for this is that I can't bare the fact that they are not seeing all that I can be. I DO NOT AGREE WITH MY LOGIC AND I WISH I DIDN'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THOUGHT and I know that beauty is only in the eye of the beholder, but I used to live off of my confidence and I can't seem to force myself to think otherwise. In result of this, my current state of mind presents a TERRIBLE anxiety when presented with any social encounter. I literally have not hung out with anyone in months.

I would feel extremely comfortable if I met someone who seems to think this way and I know they're out there, but they're impossible to find, so what should I do in the meantime? I know I need to practice just living and being myself but the loneliness (which I believe is a neediness) is killing me. How can I cope?

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 57 votes (40 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 4 )
  • MilleBornes
    11 years ago

    You are retarded. Society may impose that being opposite of in shape is disgusting, but they aren't liars, in that regard. No one should make you feel like shit, but some things are better. It started with a group of settlers who had to survive. The out of shapers were easy prey and just didn't contribute much. The smelly ones had their scent sniffed by predators easily. Visa versa...in shapers and those who masked their scent lived longer, contributed more and since the were more movers gave the younger ones hope and something better to imitate. NO kid says "When I grow up, I'm gonna be fat and stinky!" It started there, with kids pointing to their heroes, to drawing them, writing books, to the media we have today. All a ploy to better yourself The different companies just want money using the fact that you want to anyway. Tats serve no real purpose but for art, so sense you're masking scents anyway, pretend you're made of chocolate (my favorite axe spray). If you were ever attacked do you have the means of defense without yelling timeout till I get my spray? Are you just gonna yell and scream till either someone saves or kill your fat out of shape ass? Or will you be ready to triple kick that perverted fuckers head off and feed his still beating heart to the kids he has at home that knows nothing of what he was doing? I'm being funny, but seriously, don't destroy your life just cause.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago

    Why do you say you wouldn't dare to make new friends, ones who appreciate the entirety of who you are instead of the image you construct for them? It may take a little leap of faith to do so, but the pay-off is spectacular. Maybe you could try to reach out to your current friends more, too; invite them to your home or mingle with them somewhere that an occasional crisis of confidence wouldn't affect your state of mind.

    I agree that it can feel daunting to mingle with people who might see changes as "letting yourself go" instead of freeing yourself from body obsession, but going too far in the other direction is its own kind of obsessiveness over appearance.

    Everyone has to find her own way to make peace with the world's preconceptions of her. Growing older helps. I don't know how old you are, but when you reach your 40s, a lot of image-consciousness of every kind goes out the window. Some days, you can wear makeup because it pleases you. Other days, you go out bare-faced and un-brushed because that's how you feel that day. It's glorious to have so many choices and feel comfortable with all of them.

    Maybe you need to find your own equilibrium, your own point at which you can say, "I'm doing this because I think it's aesthetically pleasing," and feel comfortable about your choices? It is difficult to do, especially when some dumbass who's used to seeing you in makeup asks if you're sick because you don't have your old war paint on, but getting comfortable with your face in all its states is worth making the effort to find what makes you happiest.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • 1776
    11 years ago

    Wow... The exact same thing happened to me... I feel the same...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • robbieforgotpw
    11 years ago

    You did it to yourself didn't you?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -1
    -1