Is it normal i don't approve of this?

My LDR girlfriend wants to go to her friend's birthday by his house and obviously i can't go because we are in a long distance relationship. Is it normal that i don't approve of this? or am i just too protective or whatever?

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 36 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • dinz

    By the sounds of it, she told you about this party she is attending. She could of hid this behind her back and not told you about it. I think you should trust her but just tell her to be careful.

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  • anti-hero

    People who worry about their partners cheating are either cheating themselves or extremely insecure and needy. If this is an issue for you your relationship is weak and superficial. My gf and I currently live on different continents for most of the year. The thought of her cheating has never even crossed my mind.

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    • I am not even thinking that she would ever cheat. This is not about that, i just don't trust other guys there.

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      • anti-hero

        Then you don't trust her...

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      • charli.m

        How is it at all relevant that you don't trust the guys? Unless you're saying you think they're going to rape her...

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  • thegypsysailor

    "too protective or whatever" Why not just call it what it is, insecurity and a lack of trust?
    Here is something one in a LDR should learn and believe if they really want the relationship to survive;
    'If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.'

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    • I do trust her, it's just the guys i don't trust. In previous school parties a guy tried to be sexual with her while she is dancing. This is not about trusting my girlfriend but about other guys i don't trust.

      As i replied to the other person.

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      • thegypsysailor

        It's quite obvious you do NOT trust her to not get herself into a situation that you don't think she can handle, or her judgement.

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        • Short4Words

          It is possible that as her boyfriend he feels protective over her especially since she is out of reach at a party with people he doesn't know.

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          • thegypsysailor

            Then he just has to trust her judgement, cause there isn't a damn thing he can do from far away, right? Except screw up the relationship by showing his disapproval of her actions.

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          • Exactly what i meant.

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  • mystery7

    Experience has taught me even when I've trusted someone in situations like that, it sometimes happens that they'll cheat. Especially in LDR.

    In your case, if you restrict her, she'll probably leave the relationship.

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  • deshikd

    You have to trust your partner, especially in a long distance relationship... If you can doing things like this it won't last.

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  • Short4Words

    Any chance your LDR status will change in the near future?

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  • Motorhippy

    From where you are you've got less of a choice and more of an opinion. Might as well make her happy, or in your case let her be happy.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    Are there any more details to this because from what I'm reading, I honestly don't see any problem with your girlfriend going to something as simple as a birthday party.

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    • There is that there might be just few girls out of idk how many guys and the ones in relationship are with their boyfriends. Also he is older in 4 years.
      I don't even really know him.

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      • Ellenna

        None of that is relevant, what's relevant is your suspicious mind.

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        • I don't understand your negativity with each comment. I haven't said im controlling her i want her to go to the party because i want her to have fun. This is not about me being control freak or not trusting her or giving her space. This is just about me not trusting other guys because you know what a guy can do wether the girl wants or doesn't want. ( im not talking about sex. )

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          • theseeker

            I don't think I could do a long distance relationship and it sounds like it's not working for you either. A guy can't make a girl do anything she doesn't want to(unless you bring rape into the picture, but you said you're not talking about sex). It's a mistake to think a guy can make ANY girl do what he wants. Generally, if people are under the influence of alcohol their judgement is a lot worse, but even then it all comes back to the fact you still don't trust her judgement. If you really trust her, then you wouldn't be stressing about this.

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            • sandraasiilva

              I agree. That's what I would say next.

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          • Ellenna

            "Make her" do anything is about control, can't you see that? Presumably this birthday party isn't the only time she's coming into contact with other men and I notice you didn't respond to my comment about you spending time in mixed company in her absence.

            Why is the age difference between her and her male friend at all relevant and if you're not talking about sex, what are you talking about?

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          • sandraasiilva

            Are you talking about flirting? Or maybe about the possibility of guys touching her while she dances?

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      • Cuntsiclestick

        Just trust your girlfriend and things should be fine. There's no need to over analyze. If you do you might just wind up chasing her away.

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        • I do trust her, it's just the guys i don't trust. In previous school parties a guy tried to be sexual with her while she is dancing. This is not about trusting my girlfriend but about other guys i don't trust.

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          • Ellenna

            She lives in a world where men do try & hit on women and you can't do anything about that unless you want her to have no social life at all

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          • Cuntsiclestick

            Because it's long distance, you'll have to accept that there's nothing you can do about it. Let her do her thing because like I said before, you might wind up chasing her away.

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            • No, i know she won't go away also i can make her stay home she will just not go if i say so maybe be a bit upset but she will stay but i don't want that to happen i want her to have fun.

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  • pyrofox

    It's common and normal to worry about the partner but don't let your fear rule the relationship give her some room and she will do the same much less your guys relationship get to clingy

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