Is it normal i do not consider them my friends

72% Normal
3 Comments

friends are not just acquaintances, i think society just throws the word friend around, when really a friend is something who is there for you and is like family etc. you know what i mean, well in the past couple years i've made 'friends' with my neighbors but i don't like them around, like we've had our hang abouts but i get annoyed by their presence and it's totally nothing PERSONAL, absolutely not, that would just be inmature and off the rocker to judge them, but i just don't like being around them. i haven't really made any friends, it becomes more difficult i find, as i've aged. is it normal to have so many aquaintances but not consider them my friends? am i an asshole?

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 39 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    I can relate. I'm 43, dealing with some health problems and not currently working. I spend a lot of time alone and sometimes I do get lonely. I also feel my standards have risen and I am willing to wait. I recently had a falling out with three female friends and now I just prefer to take my time. I had so many great friends in college and I do miss those days; the music, fashion and general culture. I'm from the Deep South and enjoy being friendly and showing lots of affection but now I hold back with people a lot after my recent experiences. I don't want to give them the wrong impression. I don't want men to think I'm easy and I don't want creepy codependent women thinking I wanna play their reindeer games. So I kinda keep to myself but do have some activities and I take my time with people. I figure it's a chance for me to focus on spiritual matters and my relationship with God.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I don't think you're an asshole, you just want to have a more intimate connection with another human being. Frankly, I feel the same way about certain people in my life. For example, I know this guy who I would hang out with, but I kept my distance from him purely because he was very one-dimensional. Sure he was nice but all he ever talks about is video games. What you would call friends is what I have now and they agree with me. Anyways, I think that if you want to make a connection with another human being you have to put in the effort to try to make friends. Rarely will somebody walk into your life and stay there without you having to do anything, assuming you're not ridiculously good-looking. I think that you try to socialize more with others because really, there are plenty of amazing people out there who probably want a friend as well.

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  • hamwich
    11 years ago

    I accidentally hit "no" when I meant to hit "yes." Sorry.

    But I think it's normal to feel that way. But you might want to consider what's more important to you- having friends, or not having friends, but still having your 'standards.'

    I really didn't like having a lot of my acquaintance/friends around a lot at first, but then I realized that it wasn't really them that was the problem, I was just being overly critical and picky about the people I hung out with. Not saying that this is true for you as well, but what I was finding out was that it generally just took me a REALLY long time to warm up to others.

    Also, even if you don't like them that much, maybe you could hang around with them so that they can introduce you to people that you find more tolerable. The best way to make friends is to have friends already, really.

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