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I think moms who 'choose' not to breastfeed their babies are SCUM! Unless there's some reason why it's *completely* impossible to do so.
IIN?
Sometimes they can't because of pain, chafed nipples, or even bleeding. Sometimes they aren't producing enough milk for the baby and the baby needs formula as a supplement or as a sole source of food. Sometimes the baby has a difficult temperament. Sometimes the mother is suffering from PND and doesn't bond with her baby. Sometimes the mother is so stressed from other factors that she is physically unable to feed her child. Sometimes there are other medical factors. Some new first time mothers do not have the education, or the access to education, about lactation, and quit through frustration brought upon themselves AND their child. Sometimes women like my stepmother are so emotionally downtrodden by their partners that they completely lack the self worth to cope with new parenthood, or anything in life, and when their partner tells them that they have to bottle feed, they do. This is just off the top of my head. I'm sure there are many, many other reasons.
Most of those reasons would heap enough guilt on most new mothers. Them hearing that mothers who don't breast feed are scum does NOT help the already volatile situation.
Imagine you're exhausted, possibly still in pain from the birth, you've got a small baby that does not stop screaming, an earpiercing blood curdling scream. You know your child needs to be fed. You try to feed it. There is searing pain in your nipple, the child becomes more hysterical, you become more hysterical. You haven't slept properly in the week since you brought your child home. Your husband/partner has had to go back to work, leaving you alone in the house with the child. Your child doesn't seem to be gaining weight, you think you are starving your child. You want to ask for help, but you feel like a failure - breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, right? But you don't seem to be doing it. Why can't you get it right? You believe you're a failure as a mother. You need to stop this child screaming before you go insane. You feel like you ARE going insane.
This might sound extreme, but it happens. Not always to that level, but there will be difficulties with every new mother/baby. If there are the right people and resources around the new mum, then hopefully she will get on track, and all will be good for the whole family.
I believe that babies should be breastfed, but sometimes it is just not a possibility, for a range of reasons that can be physical, emotional or mental. I don't think it is anyone else's place to call them scum.
I'm not saying there aren't women that make the choice not to breastfeed for no reason other than they don't want to. Obviously, there are women like that, and I assume that is the sort of mother you are talking about, but I imagine they are in the minority. And once again, expressing hatred and disgust does nothing to help. You're entitled to your feelings, but it really isn't of much good to anyone.
I ranted a bit. Sorry. I do realise you were refering to mothers who CHOOSE not to breastfeed, but I also think that people don't full understand that a lot of women aren't actually making this 'choice' but are forced into it. And it can be hard to know, seeing a woman out and about, feeding a child with a bottle, why this situation has come to be.
Oh, and I forgot about mothers who go back to work, and express milk for their babies to be fed by their carers. As a nanny, I've bottle fed a lot of babies with their mother's milk, and when out in public, feeding these babies, I've been given dirty looks and heard whispers about 'young mothers being too selfish to breastfeed'.
Or even mothers who don't go back to work, but express for whatever reason and bottle feed breast milk. A little unorthodox, but it happens.
No, I didn't. I excluded people who have no choice. I know there's valid reasons why some can't breastfeed. I'm only talking about those who choose not to for no real reason (or for selfish reasons). They're scum, period.
In that case, you don't even know who you hate unless these women are wearing their "reasons" on their backs. Your feelings are wasted. Try thinking positive instead of hating people who don't follow your ideal of what good parenting is.
Oh, and yes, you did.
What? What are you talking about? Where did I state that my only criteria for passing judgement was seeing a woman feeding a baby with a bottle? I didn't state that. Obviously there's no way to tell why any random woman is bottle feeding a baby. I'm only hating on those women who I KNOW do it by choice, and the general group of non-breastfeeders (by choice) that exists. You assumed way too much, mister.
And, no, I didn't.
Thanks for sparing me the rant. I get annoyed with women who chose not to breastfeed but I try not to judge them too harshly. I don't know the full extent of the situation.
Although I am tired people assuming I don't plan to breast feed and give me a lecture on the benefits.
I know I only know you over the internet...
...but I cannot understand how anyone who knows you IRL would assume you were not planning on breastfeeding, what with the way you live your life...that is bizarre, and would be incredibly annoying, I'd imagine.
May I be so bold as to ask why you get annoyed with women who choose not to breastfeed. I mean does THEIR CHOICE have any impact on your life.. Whether women breast feed or not you still have to pay your mortage/rent. xx
Be bold, as long as you don't mind the same in return.
While it's true that some woman can't physically feed their child for a variety of reasons. I don't believe society should encourage it. You can call it a choice, but for me it isn't one. It is part of the whole gig. And I don't believe women who choose this route are following instinct. This is what our bodies were made to do. You don't have to do it, and I don't want you to feel bad for your choices. But I really don't understand why you wouldn't want to do this. A baby's cry can make a nursing mother lactate. That should tell you that breast feeding is the obvious reaction to that reality. Feeding formula to an infant should not be normal. This is not food. It's the bare minimum required to produce a viable life. It's like an adult drinking protein drinks and supplements instead of eating an actual meal. This is fine for temporary use, but not how we should nourish our bodies.
No I don't mind you being bold at all. If I can give it then I sure as hell have to take it and I have no problem in doing so.
Breastfeeding is just not for me though and sorry in advance but there is no way in hell that I would be comfortable breastfeeding public.
I find it quite sickening (on a personal level) before I am flamed. Reason being is one minute you could be having sex/sexual contact and your breasts being touched and then the next minute you have your baby suckling on the very same breasts that you (collective) may use for sexual pleasure. I am sorry but again on a personal level that I something I would not be comfortable with.
Just because I did not breast feed does not make me a bad mum. xx
It matters to society as a whole since breastfed babies are MUCH healthier for life.
What does it say about a woman who chooses to do something that goes against what is best for her baby?
Tax money pays for women to choose not to breastfeed. This is outrageous! Food Stamps and WIC shell out millions for baby formula for people who have no medical reason for not breastfeeding. Many on food stamps and WIC don't even work, or don't work much, so they certainly have the time to breastfeed.
~ALSO~
Would you advocate smoking in the room with a baby? Of course not. But what does that matter to you? It's not your room or your baby. Who cares? See? It does matter. It IS other people's business when it comes to the health of helpless children. You can certainly make a judgement based on the choices people make for their children's health.
I am just saying breast feeding is not for me, that's all. My daughter has not grown up unhealthy and the world did not come crashing down because I chose not to breast feed. You can feel free to try and make me feel bad (well I can't really stop you can I) However it will not work as I am very assertive in my choices and my reasons behind my choices. x
Your comments are waaaaaay too long for anyone to read. Unless you're writing a book, brevity is the best policy.
Your posts are waaaaay too long. Unless you're writing a book, brevity is the best policy.
You say that women who do not breast feed do not deserve their children. There are various reasons why women may not be able to breast feed let's say a new mum in a vulnerable position has P.N.D and tries her damned hardest to make breast feeding work for her because it something that she really wants and bearing in mind she is already feeling like a failure and she does not need closed minded and judgemantel comments. x
Why do you insist on turning the OP's statement completely upside down? He couldn't have been any more precise. This is about mothers who CAN breastfeed but CHOOSE not to. I can't think of a simpler way to explain this to you. I guess there is no point if you just refuse to read what it says here and read what you want instead.
Of course there are real reasons why some women can't breastfeed. For that matter, anemic people can't donate blood, because it would obviously detriment their health. Who in their right mind would pass judgement on them for that? This is a very simple matter and, if you ask me, I'd say you are diverting the edge of the discussion in purpose in order to fabricate justifications for the unjustifiable.
There ARE housewives with no crucial obligations like work (upon which nobody is passing judgement here) and no health issues, who simply choose not to breastfeed because they don't want it to interfere with their sociability. They don't want to "become moms" in the full sense of it, in the way that they don't want motherhood responsibilities such as breastfeeding to "cramp their style", to get between them and the shallow entertainment-oriented activities they were used to spending their whole time on before becoming parents.
This DOES happen and this is what this post is about. If they make the decision of missing out on a crucial aspect of motherhood, it's their loss. But from the perspective of the child, it classifies as cruelty. Bare in mind we are mammals, and the baby's existence basically reduces to bonding with his mother, and breastfeeding is the key channel for that. Try to imagine the proportion of a baby's purpose of existence that breastfeeding is at that stage and extrapolate it to try and figure out what size a loss it would be analogous to for a grown up. Then weigh that against what women who refuse to breastfeed by choice are unwilling to give up.
It is selfish and immoral. If you ask me, women who do that do not deserve such a marvelous gift that life has given them, their children. They do not deserve to be called mothers, or for that matter, women.
While there is no argument that breast feeding is very beneficial and you have made some very valid points. It is just something that I would not be comfortable in doing and yes part of it is about it cramping my style. I would not want to have my breasts out infront of people, and I wanted my body back. People can call me what they please but they'll never call me dishonest.
It does not matter how bad people try and make me feel I just wont work as I am not the type of person who feels bad about themselves. I made a choice that whether people like it or not was mine and mine alone to make and I stuck with it. x
Your whole idea of hating people who don't breast feed is pretty stupid, along with all of the butt hurt rants about it, my mom never really did breast feed me and I'm perfectly healthy. There are a crapton of reasons why some women can't, and the fact that you hate them for not slinging their titties in their baby's mouth is complete bull. Think of a real reason to hate something before you actually post it.
How very dare you dictate to me whether what I choose to do or not do with my own body. No I did not breastfeed nor did I want to either, to be perfectly honest I would find it pretty embarrasing breastfeeding in front of people. All very fine and dandy people piping up with that old classic but it's natural, yeah so it is but so is making love and going to the toilet but you wouldn't do that in public.
Instead of hating people because of the choices they make worry about yourself.
Call me selfish and hate me all you please not too sure I particularly like you so we're quits but once I had my child and my pregnancy was over I wanted my body back.x
I do the same thing!! There are VERY VERY FEW reasons y a woman can't breastfeed. Be a woman and do what's best for ur child!! BREASTFEED!!!!
Yes. Babies that are breastfed are healthier.
I would never want to marry and reproduce with a woman that would intentionally and willingly withhold her breast milk from her child.
But there ARE reasons, and those reasons are often both invisible and very personal. When you see a woman who doesn't breastfeed, you don't know the story there. There are actually more conditions that make breastfeeding inadvisable than you probably realise. There aren't very many that prevent breastfeeding themselves, but there are quite a few that can necessitate treatment that makes breastfeeding impossible, inadvisable, or of unknown safety, including insomnia, lupus, NMS (neurally mediated syncope), POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), major depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, certain seizure disorders, and chronic migraines.
All of the conditions I named are invisible and potentially very serious if untreated. Sure, most women don't have those conditions, but most women in the US and the UK also breastfeed for at least some of the time, by a pretty huge margin.*
You say "There are VERY VERY FEW reasons why a woman can't breastfeed", but you could say that about a wide variety of medically necessary practices. There are very, very few reasons to be on chemotherapy, have a mastectomy, or get one of your limbs amputated, but I doubt that you'd argue that those things are wrong. There are (by most people's reckoning, it seems) very few reasons for a woman in her early 20s to use a wheelchair, but that doesn't make it any easier to walk.
Breastfeeding is, of course, enormously beneficial, but sometimes there are costs that outweigh the benefits. It's a damn shame, but that's the world we live in.
*See http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm for US statistics and http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/21/breastfeeding-rate-rise-uk-mothers for UK statistics.
and as for feeding in public, if your self conscious bring a blanket. Itake one everywhere I go. we were at a baseball game and the camera got me breastfeeding, I got texts and calls from friends watching the game lol. I had a blanket but still embarrassing!
I still breastfeed my 10 month old. he has never had formula. it is the best decision I ever made with him. and he is so healthy and fat! my son never cuddles with me unless he is nursing and i'm just as (if not more) attached to it as he is. breasts aren't made to be sexual, there made to feed! my husband thinks different lol to each there own I guess. I only intend on breastfeeding him till 12months but not completely take him of the milk. gonna pump and gradually switch him to whole milk.
No idea if that huge rant above me mentioned this (TL;DR)
But what if they are self conscious about breast feeding in public, you sound like a complete tool and should not get so stressed out about it. Formula is pretty much the exact same thing so stop PMSing and move on.
Formula isn't as similar to breast milk as general consensus and the bottles/cans would like you to think.
There are also psychological benefits to the act of breastfeeding over bottle feeding, but just holding your baby like that more often would probably do pretty much the same thing.