Is it normal i compare women i'm attracted to with my wife?

1 Comment

first off i'd like to say i feel very guilty about this but i just can't help it. you see, there's a beautiful interesting woman where i work and i just want her every time we meet. we've never spoken of anything of that sort as it would be highly inappropriate (we just make small talk) but she seems to be giving me signals. then i end up comparing her attributes to my wife's and sometimes i even end up thinking of that woman when i make love to my wife. i feel extremely guilty and would never ever do anything about it even if the opportunity arose. all i wanna know is how normal this is and if other guys out there feel the same... women are welcome to answer too. it would be interesting if you could state how long you've been in your relationship. we've been together 12 years

i never compare my SO to anyone 2
i compare them and my SO always wins 3
i compare them and the other person always wins 0
i don't compare but i blow my load to them 1
i've never been attracted to anyone other than my SO 0
other (comment) 1
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Comments ( 1 )
  • Paradiddle
    10 years ago

    I'm not currently in a relationship but this is how I feel about it. People will tell you things like "If you were really attracted/in love with your wife then you wouldn't even consider anyone else" but I find this highly unrealistic. You could be dating or married to someone who looks completely gorgeous to you but someone else can and possibly will look just as good or better who can also pull your eye. Just because you're with a girl does not mean the entire population of girls aside from her suddenly becomes hideous. They will be charming, shapely, and things will jiggle in all the right places.

    I'd say its normal but definitely unfair since everyone wants to remain faithful and only have attraction to that one person they care about. I've been there too. Still, you already said you would never act upon it so I'm sure you care about your wife. That is pride-worthy by itself. Lust isn't yet a real bond of any real importance that you may have with someone else. Remove the girl, the lust is gone and one can live with that. Remove the wife, the lifelong and dedicated partner is gone and many people wouldn't give that up.

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