Is it normal i can't really seem to trust relationships?

79% Normal
8 Comments

I know I am being pathetic and irrational. I haven't shown my insecure side to him. He thinks everything is good but I am scared one day I am going to lose my senses and act all irrationally angry with him.
I really don't think this is down to low self esteem either. When I was single, I never felt insecure or like I couldn't trust. I do consider myself attractive and I get quite a lot of attention of men. So there is no need for me to have low self esteem. I am truly happy with the way I am on the outside. My boyfriend constantly compliments the way I look. He always asks "how did I get you?" and wonders why I want to be with him.
So he doesn't give me a reason to believe that he really doesn't want me and is just using me. But I still feel like this.
A lot of his friends are female. He just finds he gets on better with females but it stupidly makes me feel a bit nervous. He goes out with friends a lot without me and I always wonder what he could be doing. If he doesn't reply to my text for a few hours, or even at all, I can get really panicky. I guess I am just scared of losing him.
Like I said, I still haven't mentioned any of this to him. I am desperately hiding this side of me away. I just don't want it to accidently come out.
Please give me tips how to stop feeling like this completely? I am starting therapy in a couple of weeks since I have found I only think in black or white, one way or another. Never anything inbetween. I am extremely pessimistic and always think the worst will happen. I know this doesn't help my trust issues. But whilst I am waiting for therapy, I just would like to know tips how to resolve this?
is it normal to feel like this in relationships sometimes?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 42 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Qstein989
    11 years ago

    Well... It is a tough one. You dont want to lose hun but if you tell him how you feel aboudis his friende being ladies he will feel you are putting af cramp on his social life and then you will lose him, because he will probably not like to be limited socially, yet if you dont tell him how you feel it sounds like you are going to explode. My advice is to wait for you therapists opinion because this is a complex problem.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    GO BE MERRY WITH A SINGLE LIFE

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    It is normal to have those feelings, but you should not let them ruin the good times ahead for you both! What's the worse thing that can happen? You two go separate ways? You know you are gorgeous and you will find another if this one is not the one for you! Don't dwell on this and ruin its chances to work! You will be fine!

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  • Antir0b0t
    11 years ago

    I feel this way about my relationship in certain ways. It's starting to drive me crazy. I feel so emotionally unstable, and I hide it too well to really reach out to anyone and unload. I tried to with my boyfriend but he doesn't really understand.. So I've just been hiding and pretending everything's fine. Sometimes I feel like it is. Others I hate myself, I never used to be insecure until the past few months. It feels so fucking bad. I need to start seeing a therapist so I can pay a stranger to listen and help me work through my shit. But they won't judge me and I won't have to worry about confidentiality. But yes, I know how you feel. It's really difficult sometimes to deal with it.. Just try to stay positive and stay distracted when you feel the panic set in. Keep your chin up, we can work through it. <3

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  • foxyk
    11 years ago

    I feel the same sometimes... But yours is a little more extreme. I don't feel like I'm gonna lose him, but I feel like I can't trust him in many other ways... And it ties in with family issues in the past; being abused, parents getting divorced. My mom leaving me... Well at least from the psychology and sociology classes I have taken, I think that has effected me to be insecure. Well also I had a boyfriend that previously cheated on me . U have any of these past issues? That could be contributing to this behavior

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      My family split up when I was young. From then on I didn't see much of my father. Nowadays, I do not see him at all. I had a few other issues in childhood. It wasn't the worst but it was certainly far from an average, good childhood.
      I've been thinking a lot recently on what effect my childhood now has on me. I am pretty sure this is the source of my issues now. There's nothing else it could be.

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  • Corleone
    11 years ago

    This is eerie, but a friend told me the exact same thing about her boyfriend. If she finds a solution, I'll let you know. Because as much as I'd like to help you, I don't have any decent advice on this.

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    • foxyk
      11 years ago

      Yeah I feel the same way girl. U are not the only one....

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