Is it normal i am very deeply in love with my teacher?

I am a senior in high school and going to be 18 in a few months. Ever since 9th grade, I have had the same math teacher, who by the way is 43. Up until half way through last year of my junior year, it was just a crush. From the very moment I met him, I was instantly attracted to him. Then all of a sudden, when my ex said something about a teacher crush, somehow my crush came back even worse. I started staying after every single day and going to his room every morning. I started taking hours to get my self ready in the morning. I,as weird as this is, would look stuff up about him. I know so much about him. He works at a college that I now am trying to get into. He is extremely smart, and has won a presidential award, which means hes one of the top teachers in the U.S. I am completely obsessed with him. It has gotten to the point where I know where he hikes, his full name and birthday, where he went to school and where he graduated from, where he used to live, his friends, his family, his favorite food, songs, where he lives, his phone number, and even how he falls asleep at nigt and how he sleeps. Over the summer before my senior year started, i wrote him a love letter and one of my friends got a hold of it and sent it to him. It didnt have have name on it, but by the way he has acted, I know he knows. Plus, one of my friends told him I like him. But,it isnt just a crush. I am SO in love with this guy. All i ever do is think about him, literally. I write love poems, I would literally die for him. I feel so empty and alone when I'm not near or with him. The thought of me graduating and having to leave him makes me so sick to the stomach.He is married with two kids, one in 6th grade and one who is two years younger than me. His wife knows I have a thing for him, and I know she hates me for it and she is always giving me nasty looks. my teacher flirts with me, winks and gives me nicknames like His Goober. Every day the feeling gets stronger and I am to the point where I am about to lose it and I dont know what to do. I have tried to get in relationships but when I do, I break them off because I feel guilty and I dont feel right. What do i do!? I am so deeply in love with him, and i cant let go.