Is it normal i am so jealous?

Hi everyone, ya this is a touchy issue and probably comes up in any relationship at one point or another. I myself have struggled with jealousy issues with my fiance and it gets to the point where you just have to let things go, trust your girl/guy, and work on your own self-esteem, or else it will plague you for much longer than you originally planned!

As for calling other people "hot," it's unrealistic to expect that your girl/guy will never find another human being attractive in their entire life, just because they are with you. You might as well get that out of your mind right now. What DOES make the difference, however, is how you and your partner handle this scenario. If your girl/guy is constantly checking other people out, commenting on their appearance, etc. then yeah, I would want to have a conversation with them. If, however, they are respectful to you and you saw them having a conversation with an attractive person, for example, it will do you no good to jump down their throat. There are attractive people in the world, and they're probably more attractive than you/your significant other. You need to understand this or else jealousy will rule you!! I've been there.

What sometimes helps is if you and your guy/girl agree to have really open communication. For example, if you start working closely with someone at your job who you find is attractive, try telling your partner that. Although they may not "like" hearing that you find someone attractive, they will appreciate that you are being open and honest with them and they also don't have to be kept wondering about "the guy/girl in the office." There is a BIG difference between saying, "Yeah, I find this girl at work to be attractive, and she's been talking to me a lot," and "Dayyyum, this girl at the office is HOT!" The first one shows your partner you are trustworthy and wanting to be open about these sorts of issues (open communication takes the "mystery away" and prevents against things such as affairs) and the second is just being inconsiderate, rude, and just not cool.

There's also a big difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted TO someone. They may sound like the same thing, but think about it. Yeah, I think guys other than my fiance are attractive, but do I want to get in their pants? No. If they say something ridiculous like "I'd tap that" or stare longingly at their breasts/butt/whatever then you'd have reason to be annoyed. Having a conversation with an attractive person is one thing, "checking them out" and thinking about them sexually is another.

This kind of thing is about realizing what is realistic- ex., it's NOT realistic to think that your partner will NEVER find someone else in the world attractive- and learning to see what works for you guys in the situation. Remember, true love will always find their partner the most attractive, despite the existence of other "attractive" people :)

How do people think this is normal? How insecure is everyone here? Mentioning an actor is hot is totally normal! I hope that you don't express your obsessive jealousy to her.

I actually like the jealous type I think it's cute but just don't become aggressive or violent when you become jealous, because then it becomes a huge problem. Also If I were you I would dump the chick who says a guy is "hott" right in front of you because she's probably a cheater, sorry.

I'm much worse than you, I won't let my boyfriend look at any other women if he does I'll kick his ass. He walks with his head down now cus he knows I'm watching him to see if he's staring at other girls.

she says guys are hot? wtf? if my bf said a chik was hot id flip.. like infront of u she says this? she is not good cuz chiks i kno like that are sluts..

Ahh jealousy. I take it you are a Scorpio as well?

Ugly bastards with tiny weenies tend to get jealous--you're normal.

People have different boundaries in relationships.. I think it's stupid to call someone obsessive, it just means they're uncomfortable with different shit than you are.
I have a friend who slept over one time and she thought it was cool to whip her pants off and change in front of my boyfriend. I was super uncomfortable with her, and I told her after that it wasn't cool with me, that my boyfriend just saw her in a thong. And she looked at me like I was crazy, but whatever, we're different.
Lol, I happen to be someone who doesn't like my boyfriend paying any attention to other women, a casual conversation is totally cool, but I definately want everyone to see that he treats me the most special in his life - because I am.
So whatever, if that translates to insecurity to some people then you can think that, I happen to think you're too open and scandalous.
I've had alot of life experiences and I know that close male and female friendships almost always turn romantic in some way at some point. And I've seen it from different points of views, i've been the friend, the ex-girlfriend. And even the most noble of people can and do cheat.

Get over yourself, you're obviously insecure.

WEO IT DEPENDS WHO THA PERSON IS....AND YES I AM JEALOUS SOMETIMES!!

It's probably not normal to most people, but it's not really an issue... unless you get violent or your girlfriend doesn't like it.

P.S. I don't think she's deliberately encouraging the attention of other men. If she still says that kind of stuff to you.. in flirtatious way, not in disrespectful way, then she probably loves your jealousy.

well i am a very jelouse girl and i think i over do it a little i know how you feel you just want to explode and kill somebody...well i know ill never get over it so good luck =]

I guarantee you that your girl friend is deliberately encouraging the attantion of other men. As soon as she thinks she's reeled one in, she'll dump you like a sack of fish guts.
You're in over your head, buddy. Get yourself an uglier woman. You know they can cook, and they are so grateful.

Ha same here my past rerlationships have been like that. I can't stand to see another girl talk to him something comes over me. And then I noticed something strange. I have a lot of male friends and we were at a party. There was a group of them calling me from a distance, me and my boyfriend where holding hands. I was exited to see them and when I went toward them he griped my hand and pulled me back a little bit but noticable. I looked back at him and he had one eyebrow raised and looking at them in a "WTF" expression. I was a bit shocked, he draged me toward a corner and I was laughing at the fact that I wasn't too crazy.

I soon learned that its all abourt trust and even though you have the worst idea in you're mind just be thinking, "Hey, she's all mine I own her, he's nothing she feels sorry for him, I won she belongs to me not him, I can kiss her and touch her her and he cant" It will really help. (I paid four hundred dollars for the therapy for this it will work.) :)

Unfortunately this is normal all too often, but it is very wrong. This is how mental and physical abuse starts my friend. You want to control her and make sure that she doesn't go with anyone else and thinks you are the hottest.

Firstly, this shows you are not trustworthy of her (correctly or not) and don't have a good relationship. Secondly, this will inevitably make her do what you don't want her to do. Ever wonder of the phrase "daddy issues"? It's a girl who has been told not to do something by their dad and now they're out there doing the opposite, having sex with the entire back line and partying.

This lies in their brains forever - if you're male and act like her father she'll do the opposite. You can't grip sand, you must hold it freely. You're going to lose her if you're not careful buddy.

It's human nature to be attracted to good looking ppl. She and you I'm sure think other ppl are hot. Say Megan fox for example?? Get over it. Do you look at porn ever?? Does it get you off? My guess is yes. You can't be a hypocrite. Other guys are hot , girls other than your chick are hot. It happens.

Oh I get extremely jealous and hurt from this and if I see someone I liked or like dating someone else I'll never ever talk to them again I just get so pissed off.

its normal to be jealous if you're with someone who's actually cheating, but not if you're jealous over x's and people on tv. there's obviously no need for that. you're right, you have a jealousy problem. problems: you look like an asshole, people will think you're crazy, it will be really easy for people to fuck with you, you'll be miserable and make other people around you miserable. but never fear, there's still help for insecure jealous neurotics out there!

its not normal behavior and your jealously can be exhausting to some women..but on the other hand some women love when their man gets jealous and play little stupid games like that..i know from experience

maybe your so damn jealous because your severly unattractive, if this is so then i sugest you get help :D
and yes it is normal to be jealous but not to this extent

Well... It is called being jealous so yeah, normal.

It's common (and normal).

my brother and his gf who live with us, are so jelous of each other its rediculous.
he cannot even comment about an acctress being hot, cause she'd make a huge issue about it.
its kinda funny to watch and i usually smirk inside.
she is insanely jelouse about his ex gf's and dogs them all the time, saying they're ugly sluts.
i think this shows hoow totally insecure she is, but overall jelousy is a very normal human urge, but it shouldn't be to the excess cause then the person who is jelous will be a burden to live with.
oh i almost forgot, my friend always thinks her husband is cheating on her and constantly accuses him of doing so while he did nothing to cause her to feel that way.
he is totally fed up with her, and its really ruining their relationship.
so u see, jelousy is totally human, but in some cases be too much.

Jealousy=Insecure about loosing your relationship

People are usually insecure for a reason. But the reason doesn't have to be rational.

dude , if she's calling someone hot that's great , it means she's being honest with you , and you should also be honest with her about your attraction to other women

For your girlfriend it's normal. For ex girlfriends, you haven't the right. I think it's all cool, as long as she doesn't do anything and he doesn't do anything I'm fine with it.

To me this is normal because I'm the same way. But when I say someone is hot she gets all mad at me

I don't know if it's normal or not to call other people hot in front of your significant other but I don't like it. Yeah, it makes me feel jealous and insecure.

I dont think its abnormal to be jealous of other guys talkin to your gf. I am the same way with my gfs to an extent. Most of the time I would just want to beat the shit out of any guy who looked at her, or talked to her. I am the same with with my ex girlfriend somewhat. But my other ex girlfriend I had that was before my most current, I dont give a fuck who she talks to. I think its normal for you to be jealous of any guy that talks to your current gf, and if you are jealous of your past gf, then you probably still have feelings for her.

You are right - it is NOT normal and shouldn't feel right. It (jealousy, anger and with them, if not already, the need to control) is going to get you in trouble. The "green monster" is very well known. Do yourself a favour, and your GFs, and get help for it. You'll be a far better man.

I am a girl, and whenever my boyfriend use to even have a chat with another girl, I would get sooo jealous! And even now that we are broken up, I still get jealous!

yer i get jelous alot, but its no good if their the loving type that dnt cheat because it makes them think you cant trust them.

Send that bitch out tha door,and tell her to get the fuck back after she stops gushing at other people,who she wont have.you clearly,deserve better,concidering you are the one who gives her penis,not bieber,gylenhaall,or some other bull shitter.lol.This is actually coming from a straight gal.lol