Is it normal how low the female reply rate is for online dating?

78% Normal
20 Comments

Any male who's ever tried his hand at online dating can surely agree: The reply rate is pretty damn low! Women can have their cake and eat it too.

How low does it go? I'd guess that someone with a 50% reply rate would be considered very high a rate. On the low end of things it's probably more like 5-10%?

So a girl can get 10 messages and respond to maybe 1 of them, maybe 2.

Any thoughts and commentary on this?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 18 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago | pl

    Women are approached on any occasion. In bars, in the park, in clubs etc. They find it unnecessary to retort to online dating since they can meet a man in person whenever they want. Also there's a lot of perverts and weirdos on online dating sites. There's so many sexually obsessed idiots out there who fail to think with anything from their upper body. These fools are giving good men a bad name and that causes women to generalize and judge men as a whole instead of giving some of them the benefit of the doubt. But it kinda makes sense, when you view things from a female perspective. It's a shame that there are so many losers out there who destroy the image of the men in society. You can mostly put the blame on greedy bastards who promoted pornography, depravity and promiscuity, influencing young vulnerable boys to become those sexually obsessed morons when they grow up, making them view the female species as sex objects. This bullshit mentality causes them to degrade women, and, most importantly, to degrade themselves.
    I'm afraid nothing can be done about this vicious culture that is damaging to the male species. Money talks.

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    • Sumi
      10 years ago

      Hit a lot of great points. Plus recently more women are lashing back by treating men the same way. Really can't blame them for doing so.

      What happened to two people completing each other by creating a sense of harmony in each others lives? Perhaps they are taught to be a POS so young they will never have sex with someone they truly loved. No better feeling.

      Often times I wonder why there are no role models anymore... Why are we praising celebrities who just married for the 7th time, got caught cheating, or beat their spouse? We should shun them and boycott their work. The family unit is being torn apart and these are the symptoms. People used to admire those that had social influence and remained faithful.

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    • RoseIsabella
      10 years ago

      Damn... I'm actually very impressed.

      The pornography industry doesn't help anyone. Both male and female performers objectify themselves and promote the objectification of others. Viewers are basically reduced to dollar signs and sex addicts.

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  • Sumi
    10 years ago

    Used to feel the same way. There is two sides to that coin though. Men may get poor feedback but women get flooded with trash.

    1. Know what you are looking for.
    2. Understand how to market yourself.(Kinda like a job search)
    3. Be coherent.
    4. Don't be crazy. We are all busy in our daily lives.
    5. Give time for them to respond.
    6. Never assume.

    Rinse and repeat. When you get it right they will respond.. and even bug you when you don't. No one gets it right the first time.

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    • Sog
      10 years ago

      But it can be very emotionally taxing to go though all of this only to have her drop you when the next best guy sends her a message.

      I've had a couple of people string me along for weeks while I try to pick a date and a time to meet, eventually not even responding to the messages anymore. What happened? Did she die? Who knows?

      I've also had people back out hours before only because I had the courtesy to text them to confirm our arrangements. (I learned quickly from this. NEVER try to confirm arrangements, it only gives them an opportunity to cancel. Let them work up the courage to call YOU and explain to YOU why they're backing out.)

      When I first started, I used to beat myself up. I used to tell myself that if I just "did it the right way", I'd finally get that date. I eventually figured out that it was just one giant gamble and it really makes no difference. I learned that I need to pursue three, four, five women on these sites at once to improve the odds, because at any moment any one of them could disappear and I'd have to start all over again.

      Yeah, I'm glad to be done with that garbage.

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      • Sumi
        10 years ago

        Great piece of advice right here >> "I learned quickly from this. NEVER try to confirm arrangements, it only gives them an opportunity to cancel. Let them work up the courage to call YOU and explain to YOU why they're backing out."

        And another >> "I learned that I need to pursue three, four, five women on these sites at once to improve the odds, because at any moment any one of them could disappear and I'd have to start all over again."

        Online sites are built to operate exactly like this. All you can do is increase your numbers. For some they will meet a great person and for others screw it just go out. Great follow up though.

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  • Caryopteris
    10 years ago

    When I was on a dating site, I could tell the guys weren't reading my profile. My profile was specific about what I like to do and what I was looking for. They ignored all of that. The uglier they were the more aggressive they were. I had to sign chat off. I did respond to many, many men, but it was to find out if there was any compatibility or mutual attraction. I would reject a guy both for being too much of a couch potato or for being too much of a globe trotter. There is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying to travel to foreign countries, but I don't want to do it. Or I could tell his sense of humor was nothing like mine. I suppose guys would say I should have taken more chances, but I know what I like and don't like and I'm not going to take the risk of meeting in person with someone I'm 75% sure is not going to be enjoyable to me. I particularly remember one guy who was insanely funny in writing. We had great conversations on line, but I repeatedly told him I was not HIS type and he would not like me. We finally did meet, and I was right!

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    If I had to state only one reason why I wish I were a female and hate being male then this is the one. I will never understand females who wish to be male. It sucks really very hard. Females experience abundance while most males experience sexual frustration and bitterness.

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    • RoseIsabella
      10 years ago

      Abundance doesn't mean much if what is so readily available is that which is unwanted or unneeded. I, and many other women, don't want anything from the sex obsessed men that Crusade described in his insightful above comment. As far as the sexual frustration of others, be they male or female, it's none of my business or concern nor will it ever be.

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      • GoraIntoDesiGals
        10 years ago

        The "sex obsessed" like you describe aren't bad men. They are the ones who experience sexual desert and become frustrated. The very ones whom I'm talking about and whose life sux.

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        • RoseIsabella
          10 years ago

          But watching pornography and objectifying women isn't going to soothe their frustrations but rather only emphasize them. When people obsess and dwell on what they haven't got it only it only serves to increase their feelings of loneliness, isolation and entitlement.

          But these issues aren't exclusively male. I know plenty of females who are affection starved, sexually frustrated and looking for love in all the wrong places. Sure it's sad but people choose to torture themselves by focusing on on their baser desires. Pornography is a bad drug; a hit that leaves the viewer alone and feening for more.

          You always talk about how you like east Indian chicks; ever consider taking a class to learn to speak Hindi instead of just living in the sexual fantasies in your head. You don't have to be lonely just think with the head on your shoulders instead of the one in your pants.

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          • GoraIntoDesiGals
            10 years ago

            I already know Hindi, thank you.

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            • RoseIsabella
              10 years ago

              Well good for you then!

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  • geek_god_101
    10 years ago

    The problem with online dating sites is the ratio of members is often the same. ten men to one woman. If you are one of those who says the God forsaken phrase "I don't want kids" then it's exponentially worse.

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    • shuggy-chan
      10 years ago

      lots of girls I know don't want kids ironiclly

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    As a woman I did reply to almost all my messages if they were from decent men that showed that they read my profile and knew what I was looking for. Do you know how many that was ...?

    Seriously one out of like fifteen people.

    So to the guys; Even if you look at her pictures and find her stunning I can guarantee you that she has been given all the compliments in the book al ready so read her profile and mention her music, her interests or ANYTHING else but her looks. It gets boring.

    Even now, as a taken woman I still reply to messages IF they aren't from complete idiots.

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  • Heyjj
    10 years ago

    I was in a dating site and got hundreds of messages and only responded to a few because there were just too many to read. I'm glad I read that one message that changed my life because I love my boyfriend. It's crazy how we met on a online dating site and look at us now... In a long committed relationship... Wow

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  • mixwell
    10 years ago

    it's pretty common in dating with girls online

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  • megadriver
    10 years ago

    Never tried online dating, but I do know that chicks like to play hard to get.
    "Oohhh, I'm a girl. I am so hot and sexy, I am not going to respond to him. That will make me look busy and hot and tease him!"
    Guess what babe? I don't care. If you won't play ball, some other chick will!

    Doesn't really matter mate.

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  • Sog
    10 years ago

    In my experience it was around 10% response 1% date.

    It's too much of a grind and I gave up eventually.

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