Is it normal he ran away and now he's ignoring me? read!

77% Normal
15 Comments

I slept with a guy months ago, half way through sex I realised he seemed very stressed and disconnected. We stopped and he told me he lost his virginity when he was 12 to a much older woman (basically statutory rape) and now he can't enjoy or come from sexual intercourse. He was incredibly embarrassed and left early the next morning, full of apologies even though I tried to calm him down and say that I understood. I should add that he is a big and extremely handsome guy but very young (just turned 19, im 22) and I felt some responsibility towards him to make him feel better about it,and I could tell he was too embarrassed to be around me, so I left it even though I really liked him.

I went out clubbing last night having not really seen him since and he was there as soon as I walked in. We said hi and chatted very briefly, but then he text me an hour later wanting to find each other. We started getting with each other and we discussed the last time we'd seen each other - he said he'd been too embarrassed to contact me and kept apologising for his problem. We were together for a few hours and then it was getting a bit close to home time (maybe 2.30) and we both went to the bathroom - and then he just left without saying goodbye. I called him a few times but I can't remember if I spoke to him or not (I was pretty drunk by this point). Today I text him a jokey text saying "What happened to you last night? Did you crawl off somewhere to die? haha x" and he hasn't responded. I'm pretty sure he left because he was worried I was going to take him home and he couldn't handle it but now I'm worried that he misread my text - I meant cuz he was drunk but i was hungover and retarded when I sent it and it looks wrong. Is it normal for him to walk off like that without saying goodbye, if he was freaked out and drunk? Is it normal for him to have ignored that text?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 30 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Pisslan616
    11 years ago

    I saw the title and I didn't read your post, so what ya gona do?

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  • videl
    11 years ago

    did u try to talk to him i mean the text was pritty crule and he probobly thout u ment to tell him he should die. apologize to him face to face cuz he'll have to listen 2 u then. good luck

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  • Infxmous
    11 years ago

    Like some other people have said you need to let him go. Hes too embarassed about what happen to even hang out with you or talk to you, its not going to go anywhere. If you push it and he comes back then youll never have a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, youll be like his therapist, listening to all his issues all the time and trying to assure him that its ok. I had a long relationship where the guy had sexual difficulties too and it was strenuous to say the least. Everytime he would try to have sex we couldnt really and he would spend so long crying about it after that i just got so turned off for a long time. I understand he has a legitimate issue, but it sounds like he needs to go theough some therapy before ever being able to have a relationship.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    I thought your text was charming and I would laugh at it!

    I know you feel sympathetic and want to 'save' him but...let it go. He may have told you that, but you should be weary of people who try to elicit an emotion response out of you (pity) and ignore you afterwards. Barking up the wrong tree! [ask your self, why is he trying to punish you? wtf did you do to him?]

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  • AssBurgers
    11 years ago

    Was it really rape? Really?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Statutory rape is where one party is below the age of consent. As he was a child who was way below the age of consent and it's clearly caused him emotional damage, I'd say it's pretty clearly statutory rape.

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      • Collumi
        11 years ago

        The definition of rape involves penile penetration, ergo it is impossible for a woman to rape anyone. She would have been guilty of some other sexual offence, which would not called "rape", but which would carry the same sentence.

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  • BearGrylls
    11 years ago

    Well that text was rather cruel and insensitive. Have you tried apologizing?

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    No doubt the woman didn't get seen as a rapist that done it to him.

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    • thinkingaboutit
      11 years ago

      No doubt, the woman who did that to him, wasn't considered a rapist.

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    • blaster
      11 years ago

      Yep , another way it's so double standard for women.

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  • joybird
    11 years ago

    He probably thought you'd left and went outside to find you, then went home. Today he could be still hung over and not answering his phone. You need to let him know you'll not be rushing him into bed - for a while anyway, until he's more comfortable.

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  • GuessWho
    11 years ago

    Anything is normal if you're drunk...

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    • blaster
      11 years ago

      good point, had some pretty stupid nights drunk.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I think his reaction to everything was normal. He doesn't to embarrass himself again so that's why he's probably avoiding you, at least that's what I believe. I don't think he misread the text, I just think he's too embarrass to be around you.

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