Is it normal he patronizes me like this?

9% Normal
10 Comments

Soo ive been with my boyfriend for 9months now and i am compleatly in love with him. He is jealous, insecure, and lacks an imensive amount of trust and before him i would totaly tell a girl with my problem to drop his ass; Unfortunately love makes you.. in a lack of better words well a dumbass and thats exactly what its done to me. I RECOGNIZE it so no need to remind me people! - Oky so i guess i never deleted my old numbers, i really thought nothing of it, never even considered it with him deleting his. Its not like i even THOUGH of calling or EVER texted these old numbers..i really never even crossed my mind that i needed to delete them. They were literaly just there taking up space. &he went through my phone for the first time a few days ago but i was so confident because he's the ONLY guy i text but he just so happened to go through my contacts got extreamly mad- we worked it out, i explained to him that it really never crossed my mind to delete them for i dont know which reason, i apologized and i deleted all the numbers infront of him. I dont think i was right i know what i did or in this case didnt do wasnt right, because i know that if it was the other way around i would've been equaly pisst. & i know that this will just make his trust issues get worse

HERE IS THE ACTUAL PROBLEM; he remembered a name from my contacts and now brings it up probably three to four times a day RANDOMLY. For example he'll be like "oh well go with your friend ______" and it just gets quiet after. like uncomfortable, and says that i kept these numbers just in case we broke up as rebounds-__-. Like GEEZ i know i fucked up by not deleting all guy numbers but really i didnt cheat or flirt or even talked to this dude (since like 2010). I know this problem is new so im just hoping for it to blow over and get old soon, but what if it doesnt? I feel like he enjoys reminding me of my big fuck up.......HELP!

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9% Normal
Based on 46 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • FocoUS
    11 years ago

    "i would totaly tell a girl with my problem to drop his ass"

    Listen to your own advice and drop his ass.

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  • Mmmpfh
    11 years ago

    Uh... You're not allowed to have any male contacts on your phone? Has your boyfriend gone mad? You shouldn't have to delete those numbers to appease him. Hell, I still have an ex's number on my phone and no one gives two shits.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    OK. you didn't do anything wrong. get that through your head. just because he THINKS your wrong doesn't mean you're truly wrong. That's so stupid? Fkn numbers in your phone, seriously? this kid is crazy.

    Stand up for yourself, don't be his bitch. I hate it when people attempt to make me feel guilty, ashamed, or wrong for something I'm going [these people are predators, they are manipulative and trying to exploit you]. I am the master of my domain and faculties. How dare someone imply that they have a say? GET A LIFE ASSHOLE FOCUS ON YOUR OWN HONOR is what you should be saying to this anus.

    He sounds like a lowlife and you should be smarter and love yourself more.

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  • woman1986
    11 years ago

    He patronizes you because he likes having power over you, but only a weak person who has lots of insecurities do that. Someone who is very healthy mentally and stable will never do that to you. It can be also jealousy. Just like friends lol

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    • regisphilbin
      8 years ago

      +1

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  • crygypsy
    11 years ago

    Yeah...my bf did the same exact thing. He brings up dudes all the time I don't talk to from my contacts. I told him to suck it up and haven't deleted any of my contacts. Sometimes a little tough love is all he needs. Tell him to get over it unless he wants to loose you. Also remind him that it's your phone and it's wrong for him to control you in such a hideous, cruel way. If he's a good person at heart, later he'll apologize and spew a little bit about how he doesn't mean all the shit he says when he get jealous or mad. Just don't let it get to you and if it truly does, you'll just have to let go.

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  • NeonLighterz
    11 years ago

    First of all, nice run on paragraph.
    Secondly. I've been in your position, that's called over controlling.
    You deserve better.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    He sounds like he has some dependence issues and possessive issues. He might be a control freak. If the bad outweighs the good, probably best to quit the relationship.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    If he has been like this for the duration of the relationship then it is unlikely that he will change.

    If he does not trust you and you have not given him a reason to distrust you then he is probably unwilling to trust you to begin with. Controlling behaviors are not loving behaviors.

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  • DanishGirl
    11 years ago

    Sweetie I've gone through the same exact thing. Been with the guy for two years now. Yes I love my bf too. You guys have to have a serious talk. Situations like these can morph into something very dangerous. Think with your head, not with your heart. My bf and I are lucky to have worked it out to an extent but it hasn't been without some serious shit going on.

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