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My boyfriend punched me in the eye and forehead. This is not the first time he hit me. Most times I had a smart mouth and said really bad things. He always cries afterward and I can tell he's very sorry. I have seen other relationships where the man hits the woman if he gets mad enough. It seems very common.
Is our relationship normal?
Sounds like the two of you are incompatible and ought to break up to be honest. I don't wanna be around people who say mean things to me, nor do I want to be around people who hit me either.
Look no matter what you've said to him, physical or emotional abuse is never acceptable. Someone who loves you wouldn't lay a hand on you no matter how angry they are.
The crying after assault is common for immature men who can't control themselves and resort to violence against the women in their lives. It will happen again and again and escalate.
Get out of this relationship before you're seriously hurt and get yourself some counselling to learn to control your mouth.
I see what you mean. It's not one sided though. He insults me and puts me down too just like I sometimes do to him. I usually do it though because he seems like he won't listen or take any suggestion whatsoever from me and instead acts like I'm a nag. Which makes me pretty mad. I just know he can do better for himself than sitting around, smoking weed and eating all of the food. When I try to talk to him nicely, it gets no response at all. So I end up blowing up.
When he starts saying the nasty things, it's because I fucked something up or accidentally broke it. Or lost my wallet in one case. I don't respond well to being called an idiot or brainless, so I get a nasty mouth then too.
Sometimes it doesn't get bad but sometimes I make him so mad that he hits me.
It seems like all the things you are telling him are totally warranted for.
And no one deserves to be hit, especially in the context of a relationship. No matter what you have said to him, nothing in the world justifies him hurting you like that.
Please, for your own sake, you need to actively step in to change your situation. Wait around, and come the day he takes the violence to another level, there will be irreparable damage.
My heart goes to out to you, for you have done nothing wrong except let this guy take advantage of your kindness.
Everyone can say bad things when they're emotional, OP doesn't need counseling for it that is completely ridiculous. (And from their response to Bash Cat, it sounds like all they're doing is telling him to get a job)
That guy is just poison, and they need to find a healthy relationship where both parties can throw verbal insults in times of distress without resorting to physical violence.
You're in an abusive relationship.
However, after reading your replies to others, I can tell you're deeply in denial and not even close to leaving this bad situation. You simply have too much hope for a man who isn't willing to help himself.
1. The guy isn't worth it. He's a jobless, weed head who hits you and he's not going to change anytime soon. Just because you love him doesn't make him worth pursuing, because it's possible to love the wrong person.
2. Nothing you do deserve that much disrespect. Nothing. No one deserves to get hit or scolded for losing their keys or being reasonable by helping someone get a job. You're not a nag, but you shouldn't be a taking care of a grown ass man who is suppose to be taking care of himself and helping you.
3. It's not your fault he's like this. Just because you lash back at him doesn't give him the right to hit you. There are better ways to handle every situation, and everyone has that option. You tried being calm, because you care, and thats your option. He ignores all options and goes for the one that hurts you the most, then blame you for it.
You can go, "But I love him, and want this work. Other people are doing it, so it must be normal." No. It's abuse. Abuse never gets better, and often times leads to the abuser killing his girlfriend if angry enough. You need to leave. You deserve actual love, not this fake shit this guy is giving you.
Good luck.
I agree with you that there are bad times. But they seem rare when compared to our good times. It's not often that he hits me but I do wish for it to stop completely. It doesn't seem like he really WANTS to hurt me either. Sometimes he tries to walk away and ignore me but that gets an angrier response from me. I don't like being ignored and sometimes ignoring me hurts more than just saying no. I feel like by ignoring me, he's blatantly saying that whatever I have to say doesn't matter.
This is what your post sums up to: "He hits me, but it's okay because it doesn't happen often and I think he doesn't mean it."
If he never meant to hit you he would neither have started in the first place, nor continued after the first time. The first would have been the last time. Being ignored?! That's called the silent treatment. Abusers are experts at that shit.
The only way to solve all your problems is to leave this guy. However, from what you're saying, you're not ready to do anything to save yourself.
If you seriously want advice on what to do, here it is. LEAVE HIM. If the "love" is greater than having your self-resepct, then learn to deal with the abuse. There's nothing you can do to change him, this is just who he is until he wants to change, which could happen now or never.
I actually have tried to break up twice because I was upset. The first time he won me back because he really did improve. The second time, however, he tried to kill himself and his friend had to stop him. His friend begged for me to take him back because he said he had turned into an emotional train wreck. I didn't want him to hurt so I took him back again. Once again, he turned back nice. At least for 5 months. Now, he's back to having a temper.
I've been that person 4 years ago, the BF who thinks it "will never happen again." It did. It always did. I'm lucky I got away but I never told the police as I didn't hear from him again. I have since discovered though that he is in jail for Petty Theft, Attempted Rape and GBH. Hitting is NEVER ok whether it's a man or woman hitting whomever they please. It is abuse. PLEASE get help. Before it's too late. He will not change, and you deserve better. I wasn't able to have my phone, see pals, go out alone, answer back or watch films with "Hot guys" Or he would flip. It all began after one little smack. "An accident. He loves me" how niave. Good luck X
ImsojealousofIman
Xx
If you want your boyfriend to stop hitting you, you should talk to him about it. Your feelings matter just as much as his and you are allowed to do something about it if he does anything that hurts you in any way. Do you still love him?
I do. And we've talked about this. But sometimes when I talk to him about things, I feel like he doesn't hear me and that's when my temper boils and I say the things I say.
He always says he's working on controlling his emotions and that he will not hit me but instead walk off. Most of the time he does walk off but sometimes he grabs me and shoves me or hits me with his hands.
For example, in the most recent fight he completely ignored me when I was saying I couldn't provide enough food because he doesn't have a job but eats a lot. I was telling him that things would be better around the house if he got a job. He blew me off even after I sent him countless applications which he just threw away or deleted. Basically, I dont respond well to people blowing me off then refusing to talk to me as if I'm some nag.
If you can find it in yourself to break it off despite your feelings, then I highly encourage you to do so. This guy is a huge drain on your life.
If you refuse to leave though, then reach out for more help. Try relationship counseling or joining an online help forum for other people in abusive relationships. Because this is abuse, and you owe it to yourself to seek a better stance.
Pull a Lorena Bobbitt and when he is sleeping , cut his cock and nuts off and throw them in the ocean so they cant find them to sew them back on.
She cut her husband's cock off in 1993.
She took it and got in the car and threw it in the woods , but they found it and sewed it back on.
But if you throw it in the ocean , they will never be able to find it.