Is it normal he doesn't like intercourse?

29% Normal
11 Comments

Okay, been wanting to get this off my chest for the past few years. Me and my boyfriend, we have been together for our 5th year this year. The number of times we have intercourse is like a few months once. He does enjoy oral sex though and asks for it like every night. When I confronted him, he claims it's safer this way than to get pregnant accidentally. Truth is, I think he's just lazy. (Believe me, he is THAT lazy.)

Is this normal between couples? Or is there something wrong with me or him?

Voting Results
29% Normal
Based on 49 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • DoctorAngelDust
    9 years ago

    It is most certainly not normal. At first glance, your boyfriend appears to be a selfish lover. In this case, he's avoiding working for his pleasure.

    My second thought is that he could, legitimately, be afraid for some reason, in which case, act to alleviate his fears. Women have more methods at their disposal in terms of birth control. Pick a method, explain what it is and how effective it is to prevent pregnancy, impliment it yourself and prove to him you're on it. That should alleviate his fear.

    In my clinical experience, many women get pregnant by accident due to being passive and uninformed about taking control of their reproductive health and don't mind the risks of pregnancy. Men should not be complacent either, don't just assume she is on birth control.

    If that doesn't work, you definitely need relationship counseling to assess exactly why he is having this fear. Some men fear sex due to having been through a sexual trauma, some men have other reasons. Work on your relationship even if this DOES work because you guys seem to have miscommunication in your relationship.

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    • whatisnormal123
      9 years ago

      First of all thank you for your detailed and informative reply. One thing I had forgotten to include is that, I'm his first girlfriend and he was a 27 year-old virgin when we got together.

      And yes, he is quite selfish in this area. Probably got to do with the fact that he's spoilt by his family.

      I am definitely not a fan of oral sex.

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      • DoctorAngelDust
        9 years ago

        That first detail only matters when you consider that, since he was a virgin, he may legitimately be ignorant of birth control and the importance of his role in sex. I really believe you two should seek couples counseling because he needs to know these things.

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        • whatisnormal123
          9 years ago

          Actually, we don't use any protection at all. He always finish outside. Never inside... Couple counseling... Does it really work?

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          • DoctorAngelDust
            9 years ago

            Whoa, you need to go and get some birth control, then. You not using protection likely directly contributes to his unwillingness to have intervourse with you.

            And yes, couples counseling can work and often does work for couples willing to put forth the effort.

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  • Tommythecat.
    9 years ago

    That's pretty lazy.

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    • whatisnormal123
      9 years ago

      You have no idea... It also applies to other stuff as well...

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    Is there any problems when you do have intercourse?
    Prem ejac or impotence?

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    • whatisnormal123
      9 years ago

      Correction: I meant to say he's not very confident about the length of his penis... -.-''' Anyways, could this be the reason why he don't do it with me? Even if we do do it, we can only do it doggy style coz' of the length for one but I never for once complained. In fact, he's able to make me have orgasm. So.

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      • derpyderp
        9 years ago

        It could be part of it.
        For guys our dick is a highly sensitive area & not just to touch...
        If he knows he pleases you it shouldn't be an issue but it's hard to say

        As someone else mentioned total lack of contraception might be why he's saying he's worried.
        Using no condom is fun but quite obviously very risky, even if he does pull out...

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  • KeddersPrincess
    9 years ago

    I don't either with the living.

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