Is it normal he always talks about his dead ex gf?

34% Normal
9 Comments

So I've been dating this guy for five months. He's pretty great, no complaints, but he has a habit of talking about his exes.
One in particular died while they were dating when he was 18 (two years ago). This isn't a jealously issue; I'm not a jealous person, and if I were to get jealous it most certainly wouldn't be over a dead person. I feel very sad about what happened to him.
Regardless, he is constantly talking about her. Every time I see him. He has a picture of her as his phone wallpaper, and goes on and on and on about how amazing and beautiful she was. In addition, he mentions his other exes quite a bit.
So I'm feeling uncomfortable, not because he loves her, but because he doesn't seem to be over her or over what happened and it makes me feel the relationship is a bit dysfunctional. I mean, I'm not over exaggerating when I say he talks about her all the time. I'm guessing it's normal to take a while to get over the death of a loved one, but at the same time it doesn't seem healthy to continue dating while you're still mourning.
I don't want to leave him but I don't want to be some kind of rebound.
So, is it normal for him to continue to think about her and talk about her constantly two years later? Should I feel uncomfortable? Am I being irrational?

Voting Results
34% Normal
Based on 76 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    If you ask me, you never really get over people that you once loved.

    Me and my current BF has both been with one person before our relationship that lasted for several years for both of us. We mention our exes when we wishes to share a fun memory but it's sort of ...a "rule" that you don't mention the GOOD things about them.

    You answer your own question, it isn't healthy to date when you are still mourning the death of another relationship and he needs to be confronted about this.

    It's normal for him to think about his exes, but not all the fucking time and especially not if it makes you feel uncomfortable :(

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    • slutzombie
      10 years ago

      so what would you do in this situation ):

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        Depends on how much i liked the relationship besides this.

        You can let him know that he needs to find others to talk about his exes with since you are not alrihgt with this, and it's NOT strange that you aren't fine with it.
        Most people dislike it i think.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    It does sound a bit like the rebound and also that he hasn't finished grieving.

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  • Sog
    10 years ago

    I don't think it's irrational to feel uncomfortable. No one wants to be the "second best" or the "replacement". But you're not going to be able to tell him to just stop having these feelings either.

    You need to step back and ask yourself if the relationship is able to continue on like this. It just might not be worth it.

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  • StarTeddy
    10 years ago

    You could just ask him not to mention her (and his other exes) so often because it makes you uncomfortable. It's simple enough....but if he gets offended and refuses then he's just helped you in your decision-making.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Necrophiliac.

    Catch.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I think it's normal that he hasn't gotten over her. It's only been 2 years. If she hadn't died and they just broke up it wouldn't be good, but the sad truth is he will probably never get over her because she died. If you knew this when you got with his you should accept that because it would be selfish to later judge him for a problem he already had when you started the relationship. Never expect someone to change.

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    • slutzombie
      10 years ago

      I wouldn't consider it selfish because its like the longer we're together the more comfortable he is telling me things..and I don't see it the purpose in telling him it bothers me because he's still going to feel the same way. Yknow?
      Like when we first got together he wasn't so personal and open about it. And now there's just like no filter. And like I said, he mentions his other exes quite often too. I hope this makes sense I'm kinda high.

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