Is it normal girls are not interested in me?

79% Normal

I am not sure if I'm over thinking it but I don't think girls like me anymore.Girls weren't interested in me when I was a kid.It wasnt until I became a teenager they did but it seems like when I turned 19 they just don't like me in a sexual/relationship type of way anymore. I had my last girlfriend last summer when I was 19 it only lasted about a month. She eventualy just started ignoring me and then called me creepy but yet wouldnt say what i did that was creepy(ofcourse the guy she got with after me is some asshole who is in and out of jail).Last fall I started college and I liked a girl alot and she turned me down which is fine but what bothered me was she lied and told me she was a lesbian and coming to find out she was strait. I also asked another girl out and she claimed to be a lesbian too. I'm just trying to figure out what I am doing wrong I'm a pretty easy going nice guy.And when I mean nice i don't mean self proclaimed look at me I'm a nice guy.I mean I'm a nice guy in the sense of i treat others with respect I don't do drugs smoke or drink alcohol and I don't have a bunch of petty drama in my life. I'm 5 foot 7(kinda short) 140 pounds(gained some weight in the last year) and pretty average looking.So ya women just don't seem to like me at all (in that kind of way) another thing I don't get is my cousins and a couple of my friends are complete dicks to women and yet they still have girls falling all over them. I am also not one of those guys who are like oh my god i need to be in a relationship its just whenever I wanna ask a girl out on a date or have a good relationship with someone it never works out

Voting Results

79% Normal

Based on 56 votes (44 yes)

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Comments ( 35 )

disthing

9 years ago

You know yourself better than we know you.

Just giving us a vague idea (heigh, weight, 'average' looks, nice guy) really doesn't give us enough to work on.

There could be all kinds of reasons you haven't had much recent luck with the ladies, from: your personality, your appearance, your environment, your preference of girl and so on.

It's really impossible for us to extrapolate the reason(s), and our guesses will probably only add to your confusion.

If it's worrying you a lot, why not actually ask the girls who rejected you? In a straightforward, non-confrontational manner, ask them what they think you could improve on to make yourself more desirable. You might get a load of useless platitudes in return, or you might get some decent advice.

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- Shelbs
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes. So true about the preference of girl.
  
  Too many guys complain about not being able to get the girl with model looks. Those same guys wouldn't look twice at a girl that doesn't look like she belongs in a magazine. They ignore the self-proclaimed "Nice girls" who just don't understand why all of the guys go for the bitches.
  
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  - Oolongs19
    
    9 years ago
    
    Hi thanks for the responce i definately know what you mean by guys going for the girl with model looks. I am definately not that guy who goes for the hottest girl around lol.
    
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- Oolongs19
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hi thank you for the advice. i guess i shouldve described myself a little bit better.I would say im shy when i first meet people but i warm up pretty quick once i get to know them. I would say for my personality im a serious person when i need to be but for the most part i would say i like to joke around alot and can be immature at times. But i am always considerate of how i joke around with women i never go to far interms of joking around and i never say anything to off colored or dirty. I am also talkative with people and don't shy away from conversation i just don't have luck in terms of dating and relationships.
  
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dennispennis

9 years ago

are you related to elliot rodger?

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- idiotaskingsomething
  
  9 years ago
  
  Agreed, not funny bro...
  
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- Oolongs19
  
  9 years ago
  
  That's not Even funny dude
  
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- RoseIsabella
  
  9 years ago
  
  I was waiting for your comment to arrive.
  
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- dickwashington
  
  9 years ago
  
  whos eliot rodger?
  
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  - disthing
    
    9 years ago
    
    Some murderous, self-proclaimed supreme gentleman, I believe.
    
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    - handsignals
      
      9 years ago
      
      What's the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg?
      
      An egg gets laid before it cracks :)
      
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  - handsignals
    
    9 years ago
    
    Worst spree killer ever!
    
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    - disthing
      
      9 years ago
      
      By worst you mean most cringe-worthy, right?
      
      I cringed so hard I think a filling popped out.
      
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perfectxsilence

9 years ago

Uh that's a harsh generalization. There are girls out there for you.

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- green_boogers
  
  9 years ago
  
  That's a harsh platitude. He knows there are no girls unless he changes his game. He doesn't know how to
  
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Thatguy777

9 years ago

Sadly, I think he's right. I've never even had a girlfriend, but that's because I never physically aged past a young teen, even though I went through puberty normally. But I'm usually nice too. I'm gonna start treating everyone like complete shit. I mean if you think about how people are, they deserve it.

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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  Nah, some people actually deserve respect and kindness.
  
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Well, if your friends are dicks to women and get plenty, then become like them.

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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  Not sure that's the best advice; The idea that women only date assholes is crap in my experience.
  
  Yeah you get women who choose men that aren't 'good' for them, who will cause nothing but trouble.
  
  But some men do exactly the same - picking girls who treat them like shit. And if you act like an asshole to attract girls, the kind of girls you attract are likely to be assholes too.
  
  Plus your relationship (sexual and/or romantic) will be entirely based upon pretense. Pretending to be a knobhead when your natural inclination is to treat people with respect would be pretty exhausting to keep up, and I doubt would last any time at all, or be remotely fulfilling.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I suppose we're goig to differ in opiions. I'm not going to say all women do, obviously not all do, however a very large amount do, in my experience. As someone people have claimed are an asshole, or even worse, I have noticed it from this end of the spectrum, too. Nice guys getting sidelined that have been nice and get along great with the girls they know just so they could try and be in a relationship with me.
    
    I agree, some men do the same, however I wouldn't say to an equal amount.
    
    I agree, it would be exhausting, but if they want a partner more than they want to be themselves, well, that's what it will take t drastically enhance his chances, as his surroudings tell him.
    
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    - disthing
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yeah I suppose we've just had differing first-hand experiences.
      
      As for the last part, I think it's kind of tragic if somebody is so desperate to be in a relationship they are willing to pretend to be someone else. Those kind of relationships are doomed to fail.
      
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- green_boogers
  
  9 years ago
  
  His advice is based on the evidence. Women like cocky funny guys. Switch between bravado and humility while you talk to them to project confidence. Above all else, act like you don't give a damn. In your present state, women think you are a wus and politely friend zone you.
  
  You need lots of practice. Get that practice and you will succeed.
  
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nikolidimitri

9 years ago

Ive had girls tell me how nice i am and how attractive they think i am and say they wish they could date someone like me yet when i ask them out they give the same excusses im lesbian or oh i just started dating this guy only to find out they lied a week later so i have the same problem

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bleach_baby

9 years ago

Women don't go out with guys BECAUSE they're assholes, they go out with these guys because they are confident and outgoing, and also happen to be assholes. You sound like you've lost confidence. Learn to project it, and the women will come running back.

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Ckarmatose

9 years ago

First things first: Don't be over eager. I know it sounds like girls don't like; but, remember: There are Billions of people in the world, and some of them are women. Real talk. focus on bettering yourself physically, and intellectually. Trust me. It always works. In the meantime, use your left hand instead of your right. ;P Just don't go shooting people because someone doesn't want to go out with you... seriously.

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Treehugger29

9 years ago

The trick is to not do anything for a while. Observe what they do to you, and what think think about you. Unfortunately for us both, we dont seem to have any luck with the ladies. Im not sure whats wrong with you. Maybe its how you act, or what you dont do around them. Being yourself is(as far as Ive heard) the key to finding the right person .Finding someone to live for is one helluva trip. It has ups and downs. Theres 7 billion people on this planet, im sure there is at least 1 that will like you.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I wouldn't worry about it. I didn't have an actual girlfriend until I was 20. There are lots of people who live their whole life as virgins and not buy choice.
I remember being a teen and wanting sex a lot and when I get it I realize I have to deal with women being emotional and nagging and it's not really worth it.

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Shelbs

9 years ago

Next time you describe yourself use the words "Good guy." You're a good guy not a nice guy. Self-proclaimed nice guys have a bad reputation, but good guys are what women want.

Most women don't genuinely like assholes. That's the worst misconception about women. We like gentlemen. Men who are respectful to everyone, have good relationships with others, are successful in something and who are in control. From your post it seems like out of those four things, you don't have the one that the bad boys have in great quantities.

Assholes have a lot of varying bad traits but have one thing in common; they are in control. Not all women like a dominant man, but many do. I mean, who wants a passive guy?

The type of control you should aim for is dominant but respectful. Do it in a way that gains respect from others. You can do this by being good at what you do while being humble about it. Women love successful men.

Someone already brought up how important looks are so I won't go there.

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- Oolongs19
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hi thank you for the responce all criticism is welcome. I know what you mean about self proclaimed nice guys thats why i put in my original post i wasnt a self proclaimed nice guy i was a nice guy by my actions but ya you are right good guy does sound better.
  
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Satanic_Cereal

9 years ago

No, don't be jerks to women, just because people say it makes women attracted. There are actual ways to be attractive....

Read my profile! Grow your hair out a little.

I think you can do the best with the qualities you have, at least, by growing your hair out. If you have trouble being attractive in other ways. There are other qualities that make a person attractive. But longer hair is the biggest factor for guys. Read my profile for more advice- because I'm trying not to write soooo much in one comment.

It's not unattractive to be nice. It's only unattractive if you're socially awkward. Maybe people are often socially awkward, when trying to be nice. Because they hesitate over which way to behave- try to figure out rules of being nice. The rules for NOT being nice seem simpler- just take what you want, and push other people around. Assholes seem more like they know what they're doing, because they don't have to learn as much about themselves. They don't have to learn as much, how to behave.

But I don't mean to shame social awkwardness. I'm socially awkward too (though not always), and everyone is. If you get rejected, because someone was turned off by your awkwardness, then don't worry, it's normal. It just means you're still learning how you interact with people. Or, sometimes/a lot of times, rejection has nothing to do with you, and it's just bad luck---- that can be hard to tell. I don't know what your personality is like, so I'm only guessing.

Some more attractive ways of being nice are- to be cute, funny, playful, teasing, flirtacious. Or be quiet and mysterious. Aloof but nice, or nerdy in a way that makes you extremely interesting. Or be athletic-- try to enjoy whatever personality you have (or want to have)- along with being nice. Don't be too pushy about wanting anyone to be your girlfriend, etc. Another unnattractive thing some guys do, is make tense, awkward facial expressions, constantly.

My guess is, for people who are out of shape, they usually look better if they dress nicer (getting nice clothes at second hand stores is ok), and just try to find people who like your body type, if it's hard to get back in shape.

Also, if you were a girl, this would be normal to get blown off. Girls, no matter how desirable, deal with mindless guys continuously, who blow them off, use them for sex, forget they exist, etc... I get rejected too, and I've learned that it's normal, and I keep looking for someone else...

I have a theory that, sometimes girls have no choice but date assholes (or else never date anyone), because those are the only *visually attractive * guys available. There are very few good-looking guys out there- Guys don't take care of their looks as much. But girls are attracted to good-looking guys, regardless. Because of this, the few attractive guys who treat girls nicely, are already in relationships. The rest of the single, good-looking guys, are assholes. But thy're the only ones girls have to choose from.

And dating a guy who we're not attracted to, is similar to being a gay man, who tries to settle for dating a woman.

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- green_boogers
  
  9 years ago
  
  So is the hypothesis that attractive guys become assholes because women give them too much attention? We need a woman's intuition on this.
  
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  - Satanic_Cereal
    
    9 years ago
    
    Kind of, my theory is more like- there are attractive guys who are nice. But most are already in relationships. Because that is what women actually want (an attractive guy, who also treats her well).
    
    ie Supposing all people, everywhere, were represented by a sample of a thousand people: 500 guys, 500 gals. 400 of the 500 ladies are relatively pretty. But only 20 of the guys are good-looking. 10 of those 20 good-looking guys are nice people. The other 10 are assholes. --- The 10 guys who are both gorgeous and nice, they instantly get girlfriends (and probably nice, attractive ones).
    
    The good-looking guys who are assholes, are the only ones who are ever single. They go in & out of relationships. Therefore, they are the only attractive guys that girls have to choose from. The rest are 480 guys that are unattractive.
    
    It's still possible for one of the gals to find a nice guy, but she would have to settle for someone she's not attracted to. Which, for some, would be similar to a gay man who settles for dating a woman.
    
    That's my theory anyways. I don't know if it's true, but it seems to be. What do you think?
    
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    - green_boogers
      
      9 years ago
      
      I think your theory says that women are happy to go into a sexually dormant state. The left over men cannot physically be dormant because of their hormones and die early from high blood pressure, etc after living miserable lives.
      
      The unaddressed issue here is gold digging.
      
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      - Satanic_Cereal
        
        9 years ago
        
        Oh no way! I don't think most women are happy to go sexually dormant. It's more like, we're not happy, regardless, because we cannot make our situation how we want it to be. (our ideal situation is not available to us) Some gals might be unhappy, because they never had much chance, to enjoy dating someone they're attracted to. But they settle for someone they're not attracted to, because they don't want to go without sex/ romance.
        
        Other gals might be unhappy, because they are sexually dormant- & not by choice. They're sexually dormant, because they have no attraction to most single men. But they're not happy about being sexually dormant.
        
        And then, some gals, might like men, regardless what they look like, but those don't represent all women. Many women still like gorgeous men, just as much as men like gorgeous women.
        
        eh Sorry for the exclamation mark... and sorry I write a lot. I don't know why men get higher blood pressure? More testosterone? Maybe pressure to box in their emotions.
        
        I don't know why some women marry men for money, either. Maybe because, a woman learns that, even though she wants a gorgeous man, she can never find one. Therefore, she tries to make relationships worth it for her, in some other way? Or maybe those women learned to be gold diggers, through their cultural upbringing.
        
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        green_boogers
        
        9 years ago
        
        Thanks for your perspectives. Most women won't talk about this stuff.
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal girls are not interested in me?